Based on the Sec8 thread, here are things I forbid in my lease. Any other ideas? We are soon to do our 2026 lease.

Candles, smoking, vaping, incense

Oil plug-ins (they catch fire and if spilled, they melt Allure)

Trampolines, swing sets, pools or anything that is an attractive nuisance and might affect our insurance

Drywall anchors or anything besides standard home decor hardware for hanging pics or posters. No Command strips either (pulls off drywall if removed incorrectly.

No "portable" washing machines or dishwashers

No humans, grins...

No liquid filled furniture, fish tanks or other containers that hold more than 5 gallons of liquid allowed on the premises.

No stickers, peel and stick decorations, stick on wall hooks allowed on doors, walls, appliances or other surfaces.

Tenant may not keep a pool of any depth for any amount of time on the premises.

No storage in common areas, such as public hallways and areas leading to an exit. No storage outside of building except trash and recycling recepticles.

No unlicensed/ uninsured vehicles, will be removed from premises at owners expense unless landlord has granted permission for storage in writing.

Tenant not allowed to mount TV or AV equipment on walls.

Yep no fish no birds and I forgot about stickers, those are most emphatically in there.

I have grown to hate over the door hangers as they tear up the door and usually the frame.

Also I do not want people to hang things from the shower arm. Just asking for something to start leaking inside the wall.

Parking in the yard, including golf carts.

To eliminate the hanging shower holder, I use these everywhere, including my own house. They stay up for years (only have had one fall off ever and I think I've got 20 or more out there.)

Amazon

EUDELE Adhesive Shower Caddy, 5 Pack Rustproof Stainless Steel Bath Organizers With Large Capacity, No Drilling Shelves for Bathroom Storage & Home Decor-XL Size

Rather than a list of "don'ts" I name a fine for the things I don't want. If they do the forbidden thing, they have pre-agreed to the fine. My old judge liked that.

$200 fine for driving on the grass, including during move in/move out.

Add incense to the burning items.

$200 fine if a satellite dish is attached to the roof or building - must be mounted on a post in the yard. Ins considers it a lightning rod.

Nothing is to be attached to the building in any fashion.

Dogs and cats only - no ferrets, iguanas, rabbits, snakes, etc.

No dogs in multis. (barking)

Holiday decorations must be removed within 14 days after the holiday. Consider you neighbors have children or recently lost a loved one so no offensive or horror decorations. Management is final authority on this.

Resident is responsible for all glass breakage. Management is not responsible to determine who or what caused the damage.

No window covering that show to the street other then the blinds or drapes provided by Management.

Chickens, ducks, turkeys, pigs, cows unless it's a legit farm. $200 fine. (Go to Costco for $5! Raise, slaughtered, plucked, and cooked fresh - Cheaper than raising your own!)

BRAD

Yes, just wait until you install a new kitchen and they drill into each door to install child latches or decide to put holes in to hang a clock on the side or paper towel holder.

I've heard a lot of pushback from vapers. "Vaping isn't as bad as smoking, etc"

Very interesting thread indeed, long time i haven't been around. Thanks everyone for chipping in.

Hope you all are well and safe, enjoy the upcoming holidays.

Lucy, I just finished a refurb for a trashy tenant that I let stay because I was too busy with other things.

Trust me, it isn't worth it. Get rid of them now. Even if it sits empty thru the winter your mindset will be better off. It won't cost that much to keep it above freezing in there.

Then if your husband decides he wants a change of pace he can go in there and do little things in preparation for the full rehab.

I have another apartment coming open on the 15th. It will need everything renewed. My plan is to pay a guy to strip out the flooring and then let it sit until I finish my project for my kid.

Brace yourself. Here is the **HOA From Hell Edition™** — the tone of a governing body that takes itself *far* too seriously, relishes enforcement, and is absolutely drunk on the thrill of handing out violations:

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Ladies and gentlemen, for the **2026 Lease & HOA Harmony Enforcement Protocol**, we proudly present the updated list of Things That Shall Not Happen Under Our Domain:

**1. Space Heaters & Bargain-Bin Appliances**

If it didn’t come with a safety certification AND a 40-page manual, it is hereby forbidden.

**First offense: violation notice. Second offense: larger violation. Third offense: public shaming in the monthly newsletter.**

**2. Waterbeds & Fish Tanks That Double as Structural Hazards**

Anything that requires a lifeguard is not welcome here.

**Any water-related disaster = mandatory attendance at the HOA’s Flood Safety Seminar (monthly, 7 hours, no snacks).**

**3. Unauthorized Auto Repair**

The driveway is not NASCAR.

**Oil stain = automatic $250 fine + we send the photo to your insurance agent.**

**4. DIY Electrical, Tech Gadgets & Smart Lock “Upgrades”**

If it involves electricity, Bluetooth, or a screwdriver wielded with confidence, you may not install it.

**Penalty: we remove it, bill you triple, and confiscate the screwdriver for HOA use.**

**5. Exterior Attachments**

No hooks. No dishes. No wind chimes. No flags except the Approved Flag List (currently empty).

**Each unauthorized attachment = $50 per screw, $75 per nail, $100 per unit of audacity.**

**6. Paint, Flooring, or Any Attempt at Personal Expression**

This community cherishes uniformity. Leave the creativity to people who live elsewhere.

**You paint it, you pay to un-paint it, and we glare at you the next three board meetings.**

**7. Plumbing Add-Ons**

Bidets, sprayers, DIY filters — you are not a water engineer.

**Any alteration = you fund the HOA’s Annual Pipe Preservation Gala.**

**8. Wildlife Encouragement**

No feeding birds, squirrels, raccoons, possums, deer, or your neighbor’s emotional-support pigeon.

**Wildlife incident = fine + mandatory re-education on “Respecting Our Shared Urban Ecosystem.”**

**9. Unauthorized Occupants**

Guests over 48 hours must be declared, approved, fingerprinted, and sworn into the HOA Constitution.

**Hidden roommate = per-day fines until they evaporate.**

And finally, the **Master Rule**, crafted in the sacred chambers of the HOA Board (during a 4-hour meeting about mulch):

> **If it was not previously present, previously approved, previously blessed by the Board, or previously worshipped during HOA Orientation—YOU MAY NOT INSTALL, PLACE, PLUG IN, HANG, MODIFY, AUGMENT, IMPROVE, OR EVEN DREAM ABOUT IT.**

> **Violations will be pursued with enthusiasm