Hi,

I have a 25 years old female prospect with a younger brother 23 yo with disability (autism). She works full time. He doesn't work due to autism and receive SSI checks. Normally I heard about autism children. I don't know anything about autism adults. What should I look for? I asked her who would watch her brother when she's at work. She said normally she drops him at a school for special kids and pick him up after work. They both are moving out of their parents' house. I think this is odds. Why wouldn't the brother stay with the parents. She's only a sister after all. Am I too paranoid? ... She passed all screening. The only thing I'm worried about is her autism adult brother. How to screen him? I have his ID but don't think his credit report would have anything. Are autism adults usually hard/easy to deal with? I plan to meet him in person when we sign the lease (she didn't bring him during the apartment tour) but don't know what to look for. Please advise. Thanks.

If you had asked sooner, I would have advised you to have them BOTH come to the tour & meet you.

That would have answered many of your questions.

All residents 18 and older get screened. The same screening as others. For him, I would mostly be looking for any criminal history.

It sounds like you have already approved them and are ready to sign the lease, so your questions like where will he spend the day & why are they moving out from parents are irrelevant now.

Going forward, just treat them as any other resident and act appropriately if any troubles arise - if the lease is broken. When you interact with him, be very clear and calm. Understand that he may not understand you. Let his sister help.

Now, speaking as a parent of an adult with high-functioning Autism:

Are you being paranoid? Maybe - really no way to tell at this point, since you didn't meet him.

My HFA daughter has a job & lives independently in a house she owns. But she is TERRIBLE at managing her money. Very impulsive, kind of OCD and can become upset/confused more quickly than others.

At it's most basic level, Autism is a communication disorder. The lowest-functioning individuals do not communicate with anyone very much at all. Very high-functioning individuals do communicate, verbally & in writing. My daughter was an Excellent student of English. But they tend to be very concrete thinkers. They take what you say literally & do not "get" sarcasm, innuendo, body language or slang. They/she can get frustrated and upset when they don't understand what is expected of them, or don't know how to deal with a "difficult" person. Like a customer who curses and yells at a cashier until they cry & need to go take a break. Our a supervisor who accuses them of being insubordinate when they don't immediately do something that hasn't been explained to them. (both true stories)You might say thin skinned.

On the good side: They tend to be very good workers, IF the job is clearly explained in great detail. Once it is learned, it is performed that way forever - change is hard & has to be presented with plenty of explanation & understanding that it may take a while to "unlearn" how they used to do it. When a supervisor at work takes the time to understand & explain, they have a great employee. Unfortunately, more often, the HFA employee may have a history of being fired from a number of jobs due to misunderstandings that might have been managed if approached differently. They tend to be honest - not understanding deception, manipulation & passive/aggressive behaviors, etc - they tend not to behave that way.

Now, some people with Autism can be violent. My daughter's neighbor, for example has a HFA grandson who is large & strong. When he gets frustrated / upset, he can lash out physically. They may yell when frustrated, not knowing how else to express their feelings.

Another common trait is some sort of sensory issues, such as very sensitive hearing - bothered by loud noise & may use hearing protection. Or he must wear a t-shirt inside out, so the seams don't rub on their skin; wears sunglasses all the time because the light hurts their eyes, etc.

Autism is a spectrum disorder. This means each person will have a different assortment of the behaviors to different degrees. It is not one size fits all.

Treat each individual as an individual, getting to know them a bit. Be considerate & patient.

The same way we should treat everyone.

Autism is a spectrum, so it manifests differently. Most autistic adults have developed coping mechanisms that allow them to mask. So an autistic adult might come across as socially awkward-- not picking up on social cues or body language-- or issues with sensory processing-- or taking things literally-- or not picking up on unwritten rules.

Most adults with autism never even bother to diagnose it. They just think, "Oh, that's how I am---" and go on with life. Decades can pass before it occurs to them, "Oh, that's totally me---"

Likewise, most children who have been diagnosed with it early on will usually be enrolled in some kind of school program that provides certain therapies to help adapt.

If an adult is crippled by their autism to the point they can't work, and are on disability, there might be a few reasons for it.

Some parents of a certain socioeconomic strata deliberately encourage that because of the disability check and the schools go along with it because certain kids in certain categories in school don't have to take mandated standardized tests, so they don't bring the scores down. So for some people, it's a way to float someone through the education system... but eventually they graduate and don't have the foundation they need.

In other cases, it can be a genuine thing, especially where there are other disabilities in play beyond the autism. Sensory overload issues can be a big part of it-- not handling sound or texture, for example-- to the point that it triggers anxiety or a panic attack or

something else. Another thing can be a dependence on routine, and not adapting well to change.

Sorry, but there is no answer. Autism runs all the way from rational and well behaved to out-of-control destructive wild animal. There really isn't any way to guess what you will be getting.

If they are in the parent's home, an in-home inspection might be useful, but all you will learn is how well the parents keep the house, although if the autistic person is destructive you might see damaged walls.

I suspect that most autistic persons are "just a little weird" and not crazy wild or someone to avoid.

Lovely, I knew I had ADHD and now it seems I may have AuDHD. I will have to do more research.

Thank you, Deanna, for the reference of the term. I haven't heard of that one yet. From a general quick search, it appears I need to look into it more.

Deanna, you described my high functioning autistic son very well. He gets angry easy when things don't go as expected and he likes things explained well so he can follow them exactly. He has a habit of getting fired because of his anger. We didn't know about about this diagnosis until a year or two ago and he is now 36 years old. I feel sorry for him, but he has to learn how to control the anger to keep a job. We, as his parents, won't be here forever.

My autistic grandson, age 4, is now in intensive, 5-day a week therapy and at age 5 has made HUGE strides and we have every hope he will go to "regular" school around 6 or 7 (after getting kicked out of two pre-schools.) Brilliant kid but didn't handle change without epic meltdowns - and a toddler's world is full of change - however the targeted therapy has done absolute wonders.

Thank you everyone for your reply.

DJ[VA], no I haven't approved her yet. I just finished checking her stuff and haven't begun checking on him. Ok here's the summary that I've got from you

- criminal check for him

- why are they moving out from parents?

- violent! Yes that's what I'm worried about. He could destroy the place.

- I'm also worry that if the sister gets tired of him, she could leave him in my property for eviction. Yuck.

Since there are too many unknown, maybe I should just find ways to deny them. Parents not wanting to take care of him is a red flag to me. Thank you very much for a long reply.

Deanna[TX], honestly I'm not even sure if he's a legit disability check receiver. So many people abuse the system and receive SSI checks even thought they're just fine. The property is quiet but it's in an apartment building. I'm worried that he could bother other tenants. The sister seems to be well put together. I'm only worried about him. Based on my experience, people without a job are usually trouble makers.

Oregon Woodsmoke [ID], when it doubts, it's better to deny. Can we legally deny people because we aren't sure if he would destroy the place? If the parents need to co-sign for the damages, I would prefer not to take him

6x6[TN], huh?

Deanna[TX], I think 6x6 was joking

NE[PA], good idea. What do you mean by "proof of caretaker/guardianship to the sister"?

plenty[MO], the brother definitely can't qualify by himself. His SSI check is not even half of the rent. Yes that's another thing I'm worried about (the sister abandons him in my property for eviction). Is it legal to use that reason to deny both of them?

Chicago, my son's anger has only resulted in a small hole in the bathroom of his current apartment. He had to pay to have it fixed which I believe taught him the value of not doing something like that again.

Don't be too quick to want to DQ them because of a disability.

Not only can you land in trouble, but you haven't met him and tried to give him/them a chance.

Does he have a social worker that will help him out when his sister is away at work?

My niece is on the spectrum. Unfortunately her parents see her as a money wagon.

But anyhow, I had one prospect who took care of her adult son. She was hoping to get him into a home so he could function a little more independently.

She had bruises all over her arms. When I inquired she admitted that he had a violent streak and had done that to her.

Thank you everyone for your reply.

Jim[CA], even if I visit their home to see him, I'm sure if I could not tell how good/bad he would be as a tenant for an 1 hour observation. Also it's hard to deny them after a visitation.

DJ[VA], I don't think I'm qualified to be a good judge whether he's ok or not.

Small potatoes[NY], yep that's another concern; dumping him in my property. Thanks for your understanding.

Ray-N-Pa[PA], she didn't mention any social worker. They won't be a long-term resident considering their age (early twenties). All my long term residents are 40+ yo.

zero[IN], it was great that the mom is honest. Violent against my existing residents is another concern.

ChicagoLL,

NEVER rent to ANYONE without a 2 Minute In Home Visit.

I believe she will be dumping him into your rental. Maybe she'll check in on him occasionally.

Watch the movie RAIN MAN to learn about autism.

We have some autistic residents who do just fine. Just slow down and understand you need to use tons of patience and understanding. They often spook easily with noise or change, or panic when the feel cornered or forced.

We have some autism in my extended family. One is non-verbal 44 yo and STRONG. His frustration from not being able to express himself made him lash out physically when he became a teenager flooded with testosterone. For the safety of the other children the parents made the tough decision to put him in a special home.

Many believe they have a sixth sense or ability to see and hear things we mere mortals miss. He would sit for hours watching animals on the Discovery Channel, identifying with the animals.

At the other end a grandson age 7 has a bit of it. He takes things very literally ("Pick up your room" "How can I pick up an entire room of a house??")

He is a sweet, normal, obedient, highly creative kid but does not look you in the eye or let you touch him. No hugs and no loud noises. The patter of rain on our roof drove him crazy. It's as if he hears every single drop individually. He goes to bed wearing sound cancelling earmuffs. He does not understand social cues like "It's time to get ready to go" so we use direct phrases like "Put on your shoes" and "get in the car."

Again, NEVER rent to ANYONE without the 2 Minute In Home Visit.

You asked how to deny after the visit -no problem. "As MANAGER I take a few photos and give them to the OFFICE. THEY have lots of other applicants and THEY make the final decision."

Good luck. It's a people business.

BRAD

Thank you everyone for your reply.

Pmh[TX], my thought exactly.