So there is a child (male) now an adult married and does very well

for himself from a women, ive never had a relationship with nor paid any support to, actually was removed from the books as the father,

There is another child also an adult from another women was part of her life or the first 10yrs and paid child support today married and has child and wants nothing to do with me.

There is another child whos mother I married and divorced after 10 yrs of marriage, today the child is married and we have a great relationship. The other 2 children know of her and have nothing to do with her.

I am in the process of having my estate put together maybe 5million mostly real estate. I am really stuggling with what direction I should take on the disbursment. My concern is if I leave them nothing that eliminatres any chances of them reuniting at some point and even if I do they might just sell and move on anyway.

The webs I have woven....but the truth is that everythg had to happen the way it did for me to be who I am today and do what i did in business or rather in my life.

Tex,

Personally, I made a list of ALL family members,

and have it in writing, that ALL receive at least

one dollar. ( 25 - 30 people )

A very select few will receive more, much more.

By doing so, the plan is, not to have anyone contest

my wishes, since they were ALL named.

In the meantime, I will try to Die Broke.

A land trust is easier to manage than settling an estate. You have a lot going on. So I would recommend properties in different land trust and you have a living trust.

How and who you decide to give your stuff away to is personal. There isn't a right or wrong answer. There are only answers that might be better than others.

I have put my real estate holdings into a trust, to be managed after I'm gone. Part of the profits generated will be available to children, grandchildren and descendants down though the years if they need help. Part to charity.

I would suggest a Trust with the best possible Estate Attorney you can find. Select a Trustee who is Honest, Smart and has dealt with the type of Real Estate you have. You might consider contacting each family member, maybe a letter for input as a possible beneficiary to your estate. Some will say sell and split the proceeds. Some may not respond. DO NOT forget about those family members who may provide care-giving to you if needed.

Whatever you choose to do, make sure that you set it up so that each heir has total control over their own portion of the inheritance, so that no coordination or agreement or collaboration is necessary. I've seen so many assets sit frozen and fall apart because three, four, six people couldn't agree on what to do with a shared inheritance. And because they were at an impasse, it ended up benefiting no one.

"where theres a will theres a lawsuit.

After going thru a will contest [and prevailed] the cost in $ time and ajjeda was high.

OTOH....our evidence was strong and we prevailed.

In this case our neighbor left us half her house.

The son was displeased.

What makes you think that after you are gone the kids will have any desire to remember you. It is what is planted during life that bears the fruit not what happens after you are gone.

How about taking a portion of that inheritance and using it in an attempt to make amends with your children. Make it a reconciliation and reconnection weekend. Invite them to join you at a resort (expenses on you) if they will sit for a couple of hours and be open to discussing if it would be possible to build some kind of relationship. At the end of the weekend, assuming they play well with others, give them each a $20K check.

Mike-

Tex,

My very personal and very opinionated opinion after having watched my own family and others go thru this...

No one's heart will be changed by money after you die.

Our children don't want our stuff.

Any estate with a few zeros and more than one comma will bring attys like flies. THEY will make tons of money (out of the wealth you are trying to preserve) helping different heirs "get their fair share".

No matter how hard you work to make things "even" or "appropriate" feelings will be hurt.

Do not force them to get along or work together, even under a trustee. It's not fair to them. RE is work. RE is a burden.

You don't know what children, spouses, divorces, etc will be happening.

Me? Give each direct child a token gift and the rest to charity. (When Dad died, Mom gave each of us kids $10,000. It did not change anyone's lifestyle but it kinda softened the blow of his death, and gave us a chance to honor him by paying off some bills, etc.) Everything is to be sold, turned into cash. Heirs want cash. Heirs who want RE can buy it. The basis will be stepped up.

I have also watched money ruin heirs. (bought lots of inherited houses on the cheap because heir just wanted out)

Don't forget estate/death taxes and inheritance taxes will also hit.

It's not MY job to make my kids rich. We got them to adulthood (straightened their teeth and paid for college) and they're doing fine. Our wills give each of my three children a set amount of money, not enough to make them rich, and the rest goes to charity.

My opinion from experience. Take it or leave it.

My father has a simple will. When he passes my deadbeat sister and her ilk will swoop in like vultures. I have expressed this to my father. He laughs as he will be gone and doesn't care.

The plan is in place for me to go into his house and get my personal belongings out. Then if she wants to fight for stuff so be it.

Haven't talked to my biological father for a couple decades. I know that when he passes everything will go to his adopted kid. I will not contest anything as I am done with him.

If he happens to leave something to me I will liquidate it and give it to the grandkids he hasn't had anything to do with for decades.

That or I will finally go to Las Vegas and put it all on one spin of the wheel.

Learning,

You can assign a director to act as a property manager if you want to keep the cash flow going.

RB/TN - have you run that past your attorney? I realize every state is different however you are creating a logistical nightmare (translates to costly via attorney fees). Here, they don't give up the right to contest just because they have been written into the will for $1.00 or whatever. Here, before the estate can settle and distribution made, all beneficiaries are to sign a Release releasing the executor from future liability. Those receiving a tiny stipend won't sign. Then, the attorney needs to file formal accounting for the judge. I am not positive of what steps would be required but generally that money would be required to be held for a certain time period should be beneficiaries want to claim their inheritance.