Divorce & Real Estate
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Divorce & Real Estate (by Lucy [MD]) Feb 7, 2024 7:50 PM
       Divorce & Real Estate (by Bonanza [NC]) Feb 7, 2024 8:06 PM
       Divorce & Real Estate (by J.R. [OK]) Feb 7, 2024 9:01 PM
       Divorce & Real Estate (by Ken [NY]) Feb 7, 2024 9:06 PM
       Divorce & Real Estate (by Jim in O C [CA]) Feb 7, 2024 9:43 PM
       Divorce & Real Estate (by Robert J [CA]) Feb 8, 2024 4:39 AM
       Divorce & Real Estate (by MC [PA]) Feb 8, 2024 5:31 AM
       Divorce & Real Estate (by S i d [MO]) Feb 8, 2024 8:16 AM
       Divorce & Real Estate (by Larry [MN]) Feb 8, 2024 8:49 AM
       Divorce & Real Estate (by WMH [NC]) Feb 8, 2024 11:13 AM
       Divorce & Real Estate (by Ray-N-Pa [PA]) Feb 8, 2024 11:35 AM
       Divorce & Real Estate (by MMIT [VA]) Feb 8, 2024 5:36 PM

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Divorce & Real Estate (by Lucy [MD]) Posted on: Feb 7, 2024 7:50 PM

We are planning to divorce amicably so far and agree to split property equally. My question is whether I can stay in the primary residence without refinancing the loan. Per the financial planner I would be is required to take a new loan.

In our example, the house has an outstanding loan balance of $200K and likely valued (appraised or CMA) $1,000,000. With $800K in equity, we have $400K equity in the house. However, I would prefer to stay in this house and keep the 3.5% interest rate loan.

BTW, I don't expect my ex to give me a loan or wait a lengthy period of time to receive his equity. Is there a way for me to keep the existing loan and continue making payments?

We also own rental property and the eventual sale may provide enough in proceeds to cover his equity. We have long-term leases so putting that off for now.

Thanks for any information/suggestions.


Divorce & Real Estate (by Bonanza [NC]) Posted on: Feb 7, 2024 8:06 PM

I'd say as long as the mortgage is being paid the lender won't care but your ex husband may care that he is still on the hook for the mortgage. He might be able to do a quick claim deed relinquished all rights and obligations to the property. Your lawyers can steer you in the right direction. --65.188.xxx.xxx

Divorce & Real Estate (by J.R. [OK]) Posted on: Feb 7, 2024 9:01 PM

When my ex-husband and I divorced amicably, we split a LOT of rent houses. He stayed in our primary residence. Between that house and most of the rentals having mortgages, we just individually paid the mortgages for the properties that we were then responsible for. The mortgages were in both our names, my name or his name depending on the house. The idea was that we could sue the other if they ever ruined our credit in the process.

By the time ten years passed, I had refinanced all of mine. He did not, however, and a couple years later used the Covid mortgage terms to delay his payments on one that was in my name. That kept me from getting a loan that I applied for. I hired an attorney. So the ex sold the house and paid attorney fees. I got the loan I was after but had to pay more in closing costs through the new lender I found.

It mainly worked fine for us. But we did not have the equity issue that you have with your primary residence. Maybe he can wait for rentals to sell or accept a monthly payment from you in the mean time. All the best to you! --75.104.xxx.xxx

Divorce & Real Estate (by Ken [NY]) Posted on: Feb 7, 2024 9:06 PM

You wont be required to take a new loan but you will have to come to an agreement with the x, maybe he will let you remain in the house with the old loan staying in place with his name on the mortgage but be prepared to give up something to make that happen --74.77.xx.xx

Divorce & Real Estate (by Jim in O C [CA]) Posted on: Feb 7, 2024 9:43 PM

A lawyer should be answering this question. To me it seems like after all the properties are fee appraised you would divide by two and figure out what houses added together add up to 50%. You might need to sell one or two to end up with cash to balance out the 50%. Or possibly re-title one house and someone owns 40% and the other person owns 60%.

No charges for this advice. --23.162.xx.xx

Divorce & Real Estate (by Robert J [CA]) Posted on: Feb 8, 2024 4:39 AM

I have a friend that after many year of being married, she grew up and then wanted a divorce. Her soon to be x-husband revered from being a man, started his mid life crises and began acting like a child.

No matter who advised her what should be done, the could got divorced and did not plan for their estate to pass to their two children. I advised them. My trust probate attorney advised them and our crack accountant CPA advised them.

So to buy him out of their joined home, my friend borrowed $250,000 from her parents to buy him out of his half of he home. There were a few other ways this could have been accomplished. But this wasn't the biggest issue.

After the divorce, my friend hired me to manager her real estate. Overtime it grew from 2.5M to 10M. She had a trust and was going to leave it to her two children.

The x-husband never worked again. But inherited around $25M from his mother. After estate taxes it was reduced to $12M. He got remarried and built a new home, spending $5M. With $7M in the bank he died and left it to his second wife. When the second wife died, her children got the money, NOT my friends x-Husbands children.

I have my parents trust still going until their youngest grandchild dies. I have my trust. My Wife has her trust. We have our family trust. And all of my children have their trusts.

So when one of my children was surprised with their spouse filing for divorce, then finding they won't get a full share of the assets -- they changed their mind and stayed married. --47.155.xx.xxx

Divorce & Real Estate (by MC [PA]) Posted on: Feb 8, 2024 5:31 AM

Some people do stay amicable. Sometimes things change. I would check out refinancing. Anytime either of you goes for a loan, etc it will pop. Now it might not be a big deal but maybe down the road it could be. Sometimes when someone else enters the picture, things change as well. --73.230.xxx.xx

Divorce & Real Estate (by S i d [MO]) Posted on: Feb 8, 2024 8:16 AM

If your soon-to-be Ex agrees to letting you live a house that he no longer occupies but is still on the hook to pay for, he's either certifiably insane or has the world's worst lawyer. If for any reason (disability, death, job loss, disinterest, etc) you stop paying he will be 100% on the hook to pay for something he doesn't have the use of. In what world would that be acceptable to anyone?

Odds are he's going to want to go his own way and get a new house, but he can't do that if his name is still on the old house and his DTI is too high. The only way he gets out of this deal and gets his equity is for you to completely take over the house payments and buy him out of his share.

You can try asking your lender if they'll take him off the note, but be prepared to hear either "No" or "Yes, but you have to get a new note." Banks want you refinanced into current interest rates, not the sweet rates from a few years ago.

Sorry to hear you're splitting up, but in divorce everything becomes a business transaction, sometimes at the worst possible time.

P.S. The "Quit Claim" (not Quick Claim) is a terrible idea for him. It means he gives up all ownership (and equity), but he's still on the hook for paying the note. If you go that route and he ever finds out how bad a deal that is, prepare for Mr. Amicable to turn into Mr. Animal. Do not do this if you value any sort of post-divorce relationship with him.


Divorce & Real Estate (by Larry [MN]) Posted on: Feb 8, 2024 8:49 AM

Sid is right. Husband would be a fool to keep his name on a mortgage when he has no right to the actual property. Unlikely the court would sign off on the divorce with a mortgage still outstanding in both of your names. You can't quit claim your name off a mortgage. --172.56.xx.xxx

Divorce & Real Estate (by WMH [NC]) Posted on: Feb 8, 2024 11:13 AM

Who was it who said, "Find a woman you don't like and just give her a house, it's easier than a divorce!"

One of our reasons for staying married during a rocky period was how hard it is to divide assets and that was BEFORE all this real estate. Good thing we climbed over the rocks and kept going together. Our promise to each other these days: when one dies, the other is free to love who they want but DO NOT GET MARRIED AGAIN - to protect the assets for the kids. Because it's the new SPOUSES who screw up all the best intentions in the world and legally, they have the right to do so.

I know it's amicable now - but really you need an attorney. For both of you. Because signing the wrong paper the wrong way now can have lasting implications, as the stories above describe. --173.28.xx.xxx

Divorce & Real Estate (by Ray-N-Pa [PA]) Posted on: Feb 8, 2024 11:35 AM

Join the club Lucy - I too am a card carrying member of the divorce club. I thought it would never ever happen to me - I even waited to my early 40's to get married, after I retired from my first career.

I have always heard what a beautiful wedding, I have never heard what a beautiful divorce though. My divorce was amicable, but that doesn't make it any easier when you are going through it. As real estate investors, we believe in the future. My ex, well she listened to too much TV when she broke her ankle during COVID during the winter in the snow belt. At the same time I had an Arsonist put 41 families/businesses homeless.....ohhhhh yeah and the government decided to shut down the economy at the same time. So perfect storms can occur to ANYONE. Faith goes along way.

Along with getting legal advice, you will want to talk to a counselor or at least multiple friends that are absolutely not afraid to tell you the TOTAL truth. You must be feeling like total crap, but this to shall pass - just don't lose focus that there is a bright future ahead. --24.101.xxx.xxx

Divorce & Real Estate (by MMIT [VA]) Posted on: Feb 8, 2024 5:36 PM

Sorry to hear about your divorce.

As Sid said, you and your ex are now business partners who are splitting up a business. This is now a case of 2 business partners who need to split and go their separate ways.

Once everything is divided, there should not be any more connection between the two of you.

Everything you have is 100% in your name only - assets and liabilities.

Everything he has is 100% in his name only - assets and liabilities.

You can ruin his life if the mortgage stays in both names. That will in turn ruin your life.

Sorry about your breakup.

Good luck!


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