What are some of the red flag expressions that you hear with alarming regularity? I'll start:

1. fresh/new/clean start

2. give me a chance (although my credit score is in the basement)

3. right away (I need a place right away)

4. homeless

5. code violations

6. mold

7. landlord doesn't fix anything

Bless you

We have cash now

What all comes with it ?

I'm a (really) good painter.

I'm a clean freak.

Can I put in a garden ?

I am ocd about cleaning

HMU

I have a little dog that sleeps all day.

I have a really old cat that sleeps all day.

Don hit it.

I'll add:

I don't have credit - I pay everything cash

Your add says NO PETS but my ---- never damages anything; I have references

My family owns a flooring store...I could put a new floor in here for you.

We are currently staying in a motel until we find something permanent

We absolutely love it and we'll be staying forever

We are a good match.

I have been having a hard time finding an apartment.

Is there any way we can speed up the process.

Actually said to me this week:

We'll sign the papers tomorrow but can I bring over my chickens tonight?

Response to a No Pet ad.... I know your ad says no pets, but my dog won't damage anything, he doesn't even poop.

-People who get excited and give lots of positive accolades when they tour my place. They tend to swing as far in the other negative emotional direction, if they don't get what they want.

-"I'll sue them if they did that". I did hear that and thought, I don't want to renew the lease with this person.

Thumbs up Don.

Here's one more:

Can you do any better on the price?

"I can't afford X, can you do Y?"

Waving cash in front of my face (turn out she was on the eviction list ... lol)

Looking for someone with a kind heart.

"my current apt has roaches and thats why I'm moving".

This weeks response to my ad that says no cats

My thoughts when someone says they have an ESA.

mapleaf18 [NY],

Kudos for creating the post, excellent question and answers from everyone!!!

1. " Here's 9000$ in cash I'm happy to prepay upfront and I can move in right away. " Plops a wad of rolled up cash on table.

What do you do for a living sir? "I have my own business and I get paid in cash as a contractor".

2. "I want do double deposit and pay extra to get the unit, I have 4500$ cash ready for you".

3. Parents view home with adult children, claim to know how to fix everything and we'll have automatic built in repair courtesy of parents!

4. Can I pay my security deposit over 6 months , in increments? I just cant afford it right now because I had car repair.

5. I promise to take real good care of your home, I know how to paint anything!

6. Does my husband have to fill an app or be on the lease? He travels for work and wont be here often. Supposed husband stands there, saying he doesn't think he need to fill out an app. When asked if he will be sleeping here= YES.

7. My husband is not here, I filled out his portion and signed for him.

8. Can you rush my application? we are living in our car/van.

9. Please give us the unit, we've been asked to leave our motel.

11. I get paid in cash, I don't believe in banks.

12. My parole officer will vouch for me.

13. My husband has a sexual offense on his record, will you be okay with renting to us, it was a long time ago.