Text Messaging (by David L. [OH]) Sep 28, 2022 1:45 PM|
Text Messaging (by Robert J [CA]) Sep 28, 2022 2:33 PM
Text Messaging (by Allym [NJ]) Sep 28, 2022 2:38 PM
Text Messaging (by small potatoes [NY]) Sep 28, 2022 2:51 PM
Text Messaging (by Jim in O C [CA]) Sep 28, 2022 3:19 PM
Text Messaging (by WMH [NC]) Sep 28, 2022 3:38 PM
Text Messaging (by S i d [MO]) Sep 28, 2022 3:53 PM
Text Messaging (by DJ [VA]) Sep 28, 2022 4:06 PM
Text Messaging (by DJ [VA]) Sep 28, 2022 4:09 PM
Text Messaging (by Ray-N-Pa [PA]) Sep 28, 2022 4:24 PM
Text Messaging (by WMH [NC]) Sep 28, 2022 4:38 PM
Text Messaging (by Still Learning [NH]) Sep 28, 2022 5:20 PM
Text Messaging (by GKARL [PA]) Sep 28, 2022 6:30 PM
Text Messaging (by Laura [MD]) Sep 28, 2022 7:19 PM
Text Messaging (by S i d [MO]) Sep 29, 2022 10:03 PM
Text Messaging (by S i d [MO]) Sep 29, 2022 10:09 PM
Text Messaging (by WMH [NC]) Sep 30, 2022 11:27 AM
Text Messaging (by Busy [WI]) Sep 30, 2022 11:36 AM
Text Messaging (by Busy [WI]) Sep 30, 2022 11:40 AM
Text Messaging (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) Oct 2, 2022 1:12 AM
Text Messaging (by Mapleaf18 [NY]) Oct 2, 2022 3:19 AM
Click here to reply to this discussion.
Click Here to send this discussion to a friend
Text Messaging (by David L. [OH]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 1:45 PM
Here is another lesson I have applied to my rental properties. I recognize everyone uses text messaging. Easy to be misunderstood but it is a part of our life.
As a member of my church board I had to work through a bad experience with an associate pastor and a young, married church member in an inappropriate texting situation. As a result, I established one boundary condition for my life, including rental properties.
I NEVER NEVER NEVER send a text message to a female tenant without copying my wife and/or their husband/significant other. To be clearer I never send a 1/1 text message to a female. I want to be beyond reproach. I am an old guy who's running around days are far behind me and have been married for 38 years. I want my wife to trust me in all situations and I want to demonstrate the boundaries to her.
I highly recommend you do the same.
Text Messaging (by Robert J [CA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 2:33 PM
I'm sorry that you have these issues. But more than half of my tenants are single or divorced women. They wanted to find an apartment where there aren't half a dozen handymen with keys going into their unit trying to make repairs. Word got around that the I'm the landlord and a contractor making almost all repairs myself. That I never enter a unit for, non-emergencies reasons, without getting permission via text message.
Also when a tenant has a problem I prefer text messages over voice messaged. The average text message takes me 20 seconds to read. The average voice message last for over 2 minutes.
Text Messaging (by Allym [NJ]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 2:38 PM
Over the years, when I looked "hot", I found I could not even be pleasant and friendly to a guy without an unwanted response. Either they would say "sorry I'm married". Did I ask? No. Or would try to make a date or get my number. People will be people and their objective is to create new people. It's a tough world. --71.188.xx.xxx
Text Messaging (by small potatoes [NY]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 2:51 PM
I'm not sure how a text msg for a tenant could be misunderstood from my end, and I have not encountered tenants coming on to me. I'd say the same activity could happen over the phone, or in person. I had a handyman once say something inappropriate to a young female tenant in my presence and I apologized to her and said he would never work there again. He knew right away he should have held his tongue. I'd say there is a difference between misconstrued, sexist or inappropriate remarks. --24.194.xxx.xx
Text Messaging (by Jim in O C [CA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 3:19 PM
All of my text messages are about the property. I do take my wife with me if the tenant's age or situation would make me more comfortable. Years ago I did have an early 30's female that didn't dress appropriately. When my wife and I arrived she was totally embarrassed. Her dress manner made a 180. --89.45.xx.xxx
Text Messaging (by WMH [NC]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 3:38 PM
You do you, David.
Text messages speak for themselves, if they are all involving the property, I see no need to copy multiple people on them.
If there were some sort of "issue" I would send a text "check your email" and then I would CC or BC others, and save the email to their file too. Emails last longer than texts when saved. --74.110.xxx.xx
Text Messaging (by S i d [MO]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 3:53 PM
I hear you David L, and congrats to you on taking your marriage vows seriously enough to think so highly of your wife that you'd never want there to be even a hint of suspicion.
I do the same EXCEPT with tenants I don't copy anyone. However, my wife has access to all those texts through the Google voice app.
I had it beaten into my brain when I was a public high school teacher in 1999: "Never be alone in a classroom with a female student and the doors closed." That morphed into, "Never be alone in the classroom with a female student" within just a couple of years. When students needed to talk to me, we'd go in the hall or I'd stand in my doorway, or I had a college across the hall who would let us use her classroom while she was grading papers.
Why? Lawsuits. Frivolous or not, they can ruin a person's reputation and be very costly. Some people don't even accuse you, but insinuation is a powerful tool too.
With all respect to WMH (I know she's smart) I don't think women can appreciate the vulnerability men face in this matter. Ever since "MeToo" took off, there's every reason to go the extra mile to protect yourself. Former VP Pence had a similar rule about never going anywhere when it was just another female and himself. That's a wise and caring man. --184.4.xx.xx
Text Messaging (by DJ [VA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 4:06 PM
I always text and email everything to all parties on the rental agreement.
I'll text something short, then send details by email - where it can be written out more clearly.
Recent Example: I texted tenants it's time for maintenance visit, do you have a preference for day & time A or B? (I consider a response from either one as speaking for both)
They replied a preference. I said OK - I'll email the notice.
Then I sent by email the proper notice to enter & perform the inspection, all written up in an official form.
I copy all of it, texts and email, into a Word document where I am saving a record of all communications. For future reference, if needed.
By keeping all messages short, professional & to the point of the business at hand, I don't expect any trouble. --68.229.xxx.xxx
Text Messaging (by DJ [VA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 4:09 PM
Remember - any steps taken to avoid a sexual harassment claim thesis days, needs to be applied to all genders, because of the prevelance of homosexuality, & misc preferences for ...... anybody. --68.229.xxx.xxx
Text Messaging (by Ray-N-Pa [PA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 4:24 PM
Need a little humor?
I went to a really trendy singles bar the other night. The place was happening and I got six different numbers while I was there.
Can You believe it!
Six numbers, if I could have have gotten one more number, I would have actually been able to call her.
Text Messaging (by WMH [NC]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 4:38 PM
Sid, with all due respect, I don't think a man can appreciate the vulnerability that women face when alone with a man face to face. Their entire lives.
Remember I'm old now, but not that many years ago I had contractors proposition me when getting quotes on a job - and many older men think sexual innuendo is "just joking" and a woman should just shut up and listen.
And of course every woman faces physical violence from certain men no matter their age or physical attractiveness - rape is not a sex crime, it's a crime of power and violence.
But texting and emailing about business leaves a trail of words, so if the words are all business and not inappropriate, I don't see a reason to involve other people.
I think refusing to include a woman in a business discussion without some sort of chaperone present - as Pence did, because somehow he might lose his mind and proposition her - is to denigrate and lessen a woman's power and right to be there and be heard. It's keep the "Good Ol' Boys' Club" dinners and discussion alive - and keeping women out. --74.110.xxx.xx
Text Messaging (by Still Learning [NH]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 5:20 PM
I am female and have no problem texting any of my tenants. It is purely business and business like. I would actually be uncomfortable with my husband including me on his business texts and I would be uncomfortable including him on any tenant texts I send. If it works for you and you are not crossing privacy boundaries by including another person on the text, that’s great. --107.77.xxx.xxx
Text Messaging (by GKARL [PA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 6:30 PM
I'm not texting about anything with a tenant other than issues related to the property. If anything, I feel the texts protect me. I don't position myself where I'm alone with a female. And those instances I generally will take my wife or someone else along with me. --209.122.xx.xxx
Text Messaging (by Laura [MD]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 7:19 PM
Text Messaging (by S i d [MO]) Posted on: Sep 29, 2022 10:03 PM
WMH, I never said women weren't vulnerable. I said men are. Preaching to the choir. ;-) --184.4.xx.xx
Text Messaging (by S i d [MO]) Posted on: Sep 29, 2022 10:09 PM
Also, it sounds like you missed the point entirely. It's not that a man has to have someone present or he'll "lose his mind and proposition her.". What I said was when a man and a women are alone...anyone can claim anything happened, and ever since MeToo became so popular the tendency is to believe what was said when it goes against the man. Doesn't have to be true. Doesn't even have to be a direct accusation. An insinuation makes him seem guilty in the eyes of many.
As the Scripture tells us, we must be above even a hint of reproach. A wise man protects his reputation with a witness. --184.4.xx.xx
Text Messaging (by WMH [NC]) Posted on: Sep 30, 2022 11:27 AM
Okay I can understand the issue with the being completely alone physically with a member of the opposite sex.
The texting and emailing, not so much. You text and email to protect yourself from saying things verbally that could be twisted or misconstrued and then it does become "He said, She said."
And a dinner in a public place, such as Pence would have to have with a colleague...not the same as being alone in a rental who knows who, right? --50.82.xxx.xxx
Text Messaging (by Busy [WI]) Posted on: Sep 30, 2022 11:36 AM
When my kids were involved in a youth organization , leaders were taught to never be alone with any one under 18 ever, regardless of gender. When I worked as a teacher's aide in special ed, I too, would keep the door open. Its not about me losing my mind and acting inappropriately, it was because the kid could CLAIM I did.
Yet, I too have had unwanted flirtations or attentions. Even though I'm no hot babe. And, those unwanted flirtations/ attentions make me feel uncomfortable. Yet, I've had people tell me I'm a flirtatious person. So, the whole thing is tricky. When does funny cross into flirty territory... its probably different for every person. And with my very changeable personality, it probably changes day to day for me!
So, as someone perceived to be 'wealthy' ( all us landlords are, ya know! ;-) its best to keep clear lines. Those of us with friendly/ flirty personalities have to rein it in. --70.92.xxx.xxx
Text Messaging (by Busy [WI]) Posted on: Sep 30, 2022 11:40 AM
Oops, I switched from working with kids to dealing with adults without a transition there. Two different topics, really. But, always protect yourself from accusations! --70.92.xxx.xxx
Text Messaging (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) Posted on: Oct 2, 2022 1:12 AM
I know Mike Pence. He’s from my town and my church. He has spoken publicly about this many times as a Congressman, then Governor, and VP. The media can’t wrap their heads around it.
His policy is to never be along with a woman that is not his wife as self defense - so no one can claim any form of impropriety.
Look at all the politicians who have been CANCELLED.
We had the same rule in Boy Scouts - never alone with a boy to protect my own reputation.
Texts: None of my texts could be construed as improper. “This is your only notice to pay $XXXX within 3 days to avoid sheriff eviction.”
Or “That home is no longer available”.
Once a lease is signed we text all adults on a single thread. Certainly helps avoid duplicate messages and miscommunication.
BRAD YOU --73.103.xxx.xxx
Text Messaging (by Mapleaf18 [NY]) Posted on: Oct 2, 2022 3:19 AM
In today's litigious society, it's always best to protect oneself against false accusations. Texting should be kept to business-like interactions. In person stuff may be a good idea not to be alone with an individual tenant.
Doctor's offices started doing the two person examination a few years back due to the explosion of lawsuits claiming inappropriate behavior.
Click Here to send this discussion to a friend
Report discussion to Webmaster