How would u handle this? (by Roy [AL]) Sep 28, 2022 8:25 AM|
How would u handle this? (by LisaFL [FL]) Sep 28, 2022 9:03 AM
How would u handle this? (by zero [IN]) Sep 28, 2022 9:08 AM
How would u handle this? (by Jasper [OH]) Sep 28, 2022 9:25 AM
How would u handle this? (by tryan [MA]) Sep 28, 2022 9:35 AM
How would u handle this? (by S i d [MO]) Sep 28, 2022 9:41 AM
How would u handle this? (by Still Learning [NH]) Sep 28, 2022 9:54 AM
How would u handle this? (by RB [TN]) Sep 28, 2022 10:04 AM
How would u handle this? (by WMH [NC]) Sep 28, 2022 10:04 AM
How would u handle this? (by Ray-N-Pa [PA]) Sep 28, 2022 10:16 AM
How would u handle this? (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) Sep 28, 2022 10:21 AM
How would u handle this? (by Allym [NJ]) Sep 28, 2022 10:44 AM
How would u handle this? (by Robert J [CA]) Sep 28, 2022 10:57 AM
How would u handle this? (by S i d [MO]) Sep 28, 2022 11:13 AM
How would u handle this? (by WMH [NC]) Sep 28, 2022 11:26 AM
How would u handle this? (by Sorta Blonde [CA]) Sep 28, 2022 11:33 AM
How would u handle this? (by mapleaf18 [NY]) Sep 28, 2022 11:55 AM
How would u handle this? (by Jason [VA]) Sep 28, 2022 12:00 PM
How would u handle this? (by Jim in O C [CA]) Sep 28, 2022 1:01 PM
How would u handle this? (by PG [SC]) Sep 28, 2022 1:09 PM
How would u handle this? (by David L. [OH]) Sep 28, 2022 1:35 PM
How would u handle this? (by Roy [AL]) Sep 28, 2022 1:47 PM
How would u handle this? (by pete [OR]) Sep 28, 2022 3:50 PM
How would u handle this? (by Ken [NY]) Sep 28, 2022 4:00 PM
How would u handle this? (by GKARL [PA]) Sep 28, 2022 4:57 PM
How would u handle this? (by Robin [WI]) Sep 28, 2022 6:33 PM
How would u handle this? (by Roy [AL]) Sep 28, 2022 7:39 PM
How would u handle this? (by 6x6 [TN]) Sep 28, 2022 7:43 PM
How would u handle this? (by RB [TN]) Sep 28, 2022 8:35 PM
How would u handle this? (by Jason [VA]) Sep 28, 2022 8:59 PM
How would u handle this? (by small potatoes [NY]) Sep 29, 2022 5:21 AM
How would u handle this? (by Carolyn [MO]) Sep 29, 2022 12:38 PM
How would u handle this? (by Dee Ann [WI]) Sep 29, 2022 5:13 PM
How would u handle this? (by GKARL [PA]) Sep 30, 2022 5:54 AM
How would u handle this? (by Sir Walter [NC]) Oct 1, 2022 5:37 PM
How would u handle this? (by Sir Walter [NC]) Oct 1, 2022 5:54 PM
How would u handle this? (by Sir Walter [NC]) Oct 2, 2022 8:31 AM
How would u handle this? (by Patti [OK]) Oct 4, 2022 11:35 AM
How would u handle this? (by janice [OH]) Oct 4, 2022 4:26 PM
How would u handle this? (by Paulette [WY]) Oct 4, 2022 11:10 PM
How would u handle this? (by Sandy [CO]) Oct 5, 2022 12:17 AM
How would u handle this? (by Roy [AL]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 8:25 AM
For 16 years as a landlord, I have always been friendly with my tenants but I have also kept them at 'arms length'. That being said, I have a husband and wife couple who I rented to 4 months ago. They are great tenants, pay rent before the due date and they are just nice and friendly people. I feel blessed to have them as tenants.
I am now getting the impression they want to get closer to me than just 'arms length' and become personal friends with me! They text me more frequently than most of tenants do. Most tenants only text me when they have a house problem that needs to fixed but this couple (mostly the wife) texts me just to B.S. with me in a friendly way. This married couple is now hinting they would like me to come to their house and have dinner with them. Yikes.
Now, I would like call 'time-out' here and just ask my basic question,...how would you deal with this situation? Also, has anyone here ever became personal friends with your tenants? What is the worse that could happen?
How would u handle this? (by LisaFL [FL]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 9:03 AM
I would not do that. Renting to friends and family is never a good idea.
Then again I am guilty of doing it, so thatís why I have this opinion. It just makes it very uncomfortable if/when they become less than what youíd hoped for and you then have to become firm.
There is nothing wrong with being friendly, or actually liking them as people but keeping them at armís length is always best. --75.89.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by zero [IN]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 9:08 AM
Once you become friends with them you will become a sounding board for all things not related to the biz.
Have a family that I have rented to on and off for years. Four generations of them have been under my roof. I hired him to do lawn work, she was my cleaner for years.
Tried to guide them toward financial security more than they had. No use. Tried for years to get them to buy a place, even on contract, but no luck.
Has gotten to the point that I do not deal with them. No problems but they don't want to learn and now I don't have to hear about the problems with the kids, parents, jobs or marriage.
Have a few others that want to be friends. I don't have many friends for a reason, I don't want them.
Best of luck on this. --107.147.xx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Jasper [OH]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 9:25 AM
Not a good idea to cross that line to friends category. Start by not responding to texts that have nothing to do with the property. We all have had tenants who start out great until they are not. --67.141.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by tryan [MA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 9:35 AM
My last place in the hood (as I said) grandma was there 25 years. They called me "Uncle". Got invited to MANY graduation, b-day, BBQ parties.
Never went. --206.84.xx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by S i d [MO]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 9:41 AM
Roy, my pal, have you never been schmoozed before? Sounds like that is what's happening.
The answer is simple: NO!
Any time there is a power dynamic such as within family member peers, parents and minor children, among professional associates, etc. the advice is the same: Be friendly, but never a friend. You won't want to evict your friend if/when the rent is late or the dogs poop all over the carpet.
"What's the worst that can happen?" Do you really want to find out? My guess is friends would share some information that others shouldn't know, and if/when your friends get upset, they will share that with everyone who doesn't need to know it and act like a deranged ex-girlfriend who wants revenge. If you've ever had one of those, you know what I'm talking about.
How would u handle this? (by Still Learning [NH]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 9:54 AM
I had a situation of someone relocating, wife was home alone, no friends, no vehicle, I was invited for tea many times and declined thankfully. When the tenancy above went really bad and the couple below fled it was much easier to stick to my lease and rules. They forfeited their security deposit. --23.242.xxx.xx
How would u handle this? (by RB [TN]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 10:04 AM
Page 47 of Maturity in Landlording
by Steve Growaset,
highly recommends Not doing that. --24.183.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by WMH [NC]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 10:04 AM
Roy, do you want to be friends with these people? Do you need more friends? Then by all means be friendly with them.
I have made it clear to tenants, friends and family that we are a business - that any income derived from the biz is how we live - that any money owed to us becomes a loan we didn't agree to and won't forgive.
I am going to be renting soon to a friend of the family - young lady getting started in life - she has been staying with us anyway but will move to our furnished apartment for a few months while we work on it - then on to a studio when available.
She will pay. Or she will be evicted, same as everyone else. And it's been discussed a LOT so no surprises. --74.110.xxx.xx
How would u handle this? (by Ray-N-Pa [PA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 10:16 AM
Tell them the truth.
Company policy doesn't allow us to fraternize with our valued customers. Thank you for the offer though. --24.101.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 10:21 AM
Nothing to add to the advice above, except to point out that they have only been in place for four months. Many tenants don't start to show their true colors until after the first year when they get settled in.
So, you don't really know what they are like. Perhaps they will remain great tenants, perhaps not. They are still in "the honeymoon period", finding out where the boundaries are going to be. --76.178.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Allym [NJ]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 10:44 AM
Are they trying to "fix you up" with a friend of theirs? Are you single? That's what I get here. --71.188.xx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Robert J [CA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 10:57 AM
You need to know where to draw the line. Often I will do something for a tenant, nothing to do with a rental. Such as fix their TV, Vehicle or power assisted bicycle (Make a replacement Lithium Power Pack while theirs is discontinued).
Then they want to socialize, cook me dinner, etc. I thank them and say I still have places to go, things to fix and rent to collect. So they stop asking.
How would u handle this? (by S i d [MO]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 11:13 AM
WMH, I admire your thoroughness and communication.
I can't make myself do it again. We rented to a young woman who was my uncles niece, but of no relation to me. This was particularly sticky because my uncle was also partners with me on the property in question at one time, though we had bought out his interest a few years prior. He's a great guy and never gave me any indication that he expected any favors for her, but I still felt uncomfy when rents were late...then late again...then late again...then the property inspection....eyew, gross. Dried dog poop all over the carpet.
We reached a deal where I moved her along. Talked it over with my uncle, who was very gracious as always. He seemed a bit surprised at first, but agreed I had made the right decision.
My wife's side of the family had a huge blow up when her Grandmother passed away without a Will. Up until then, everyone had been super cordial and even friendly, though they live about 40 minutes away and we only saw them at weddings, anniversaries, graduations, and holidays. today, they barely talk. Those relationships were ruined because assumptions were made and everyone took their own side as the aggrieved party. Her estate was worth less than $50,000 as best I can guess.
My point in sharing this story is people get "funny" when money is involved, even small sums. I'd rather not lose friends or family over money issues. But if you've got some really rock solid folks who can be trusted, then you're blessed indeed! --184.4.xx.xx
How would u handle this? (by WMH [NC]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 11:26 AM
I get it Sid, I do. This girl is a friend of my granddaughter's and my son has really drilled it into both girls that I will not forgive and I do not forget...debt.
But in these tough times of virtually NO HOUSING (where I live) we are able to "share" our wealth by at least allowing her (and her dog) to pay rent on one of our studios! We will collect 2x the rent in SD, and sign a lease, and do everything we normally do.
We are also going to set her up as our first "ACH" tenant through Buildium. --74.110.xxx.xx
How would u handle this? (by Sorta Blonde [CA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 11:33 AM
Be friendly, but not a friend. It all depends on the relationship to you or your associates. My tenants (inherited from Landlord who sold me the property and were his relatives) had been my neighbors for 20 years at that point. Got invited to many lovely feasts and if I failed to show up, they would bring me a plate of yummy food. Different situation for sure. When I became their landlord I continued the socialization, but only for a quick bite of food and then home. NEW tenants are occasionally bringing me some really good homemade soup. All tasty and awesome. But I continue to not socialize with tenants. Love the food, don't want to become a friend. --70.181.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by mapleaf18 [NY]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 11:55 AM
Never have a convo that can be used against you. Keep to small talk, the weather is a good topic. --72.231.xxx.xx
How would u handle this? (by Jason [VA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 12:00 PM
You can have a tenant or a friend, not both. --50.202.xxx.xx
How would u handle this? (by Jim in O C [CA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 1:01 PM
In my rental business and when I had my manufacturing business I keep our my relationship strictly business. More than that can only lead to problems. --99.23.xxx.x
How would u handle this? (by PG [SC]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 1:09 PM
Business courtesy and arms length is the same approach I use. I minimize the Text/emails, because text or emails is easy to misunderstand.
Eating a meal - NO. I would back off, especially non business text from the wife. I think in time you may be able to determine if they have some sort of hidden agenda. --72.173.xx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by David L. [OH]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 1:35 PM
This might not sound right but I will try. As a Christian, I am pretty open about my faith with my tenants but I have never been an evangelist. I tell my new tenant that my wife and I believe our rental properties belong to the Lord and we manage them for Him. And then I tell them that the Lord expects His rent paid on time. I am not their friend. I am the landlord and managing the properties for the Lord. In text message or conversation with them center around their responsibilities as a tenant. I am not impersonal but I donít get involved in their drama or their families or their jobs situation. I donít enter a rental property when there is a female alone in the apartment. I asked them to wait outside or we leave the door and curtains open. I would not answer text messages unrelated to the business of the property. Find your friends elsewhere. --174.207.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Roy [AL]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 1:47 PM
I have not crossed any line here or done anything improper. However, I saw this couple 1 hour ago and the wife put her arms around me and gave me a hug. Her husband was standing 3 feet away too. And this was not the first time this has happened. She is an emotional female. I have no other explanation. --71.207.xxx.x
How would u handle this? (by pete [OR]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 3:50 PM
I rented to a friends friend. When he was late paying rent because of a broken foot, I said ''sorry about your foot, I am bringing a 3 day notice on Monday". He was fine with it and paid plus late fee. --35.132.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Ken [NY]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 4:00 PM
I would not answer texts unrelated to the house,i would have put my arms up and told her no hugging.I would not go near her without a witness,my bet is that she is trouble and i would stay away from her --74.77.xx.xx
How would u handle this? (by GKARL [PA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 4:57 PM
They may be softening you up for something illicit. Maybe the husband likes to watch LOL. Seriously, I would put a very firm distance between you and them. They'll eventually get the message. --131.106.xx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Robin [WI]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 6:33 PM
I am friendly, kind, and sympathetic to my tenants--but not a friend. I don't have enough time for the friends in my life that I've chosen. Adding tenants as friends makes it hard to administer consequences, and I honestly don't have time for additional relationships. --104.230.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Roy [AL]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 7:39 PM
My reason for even being there today revolves around 2 vacant lots that are located on each side of my rental house. I went there to meet the owner of one of the these 2 lots. When my tenants saw my pick-up truck next door at the vacant lot, they came out just to shoot the breeze with me. They always have something to tell me either in person or via texting. Today they asked me if I would owner-finance the house to them when their lease expires. When I said yes,...this is what prompted the hug. And she gives warm and passionate hugs too. --71.207.xxx.x
How would u handle this? (by 6x6 [TN]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 7:43 PM
I think Ray put it quite nicely. --73.113.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by RB [TN]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 8:35 PM
Sounds like ya don't intimidate her. --24.183.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Jason [VA]) Posted on: Sep 28, 2022 8:59 PM
ďNow please reduce your asking price by halfĒ --172.58.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by small potatoes [NY]) Posted on: Sep 29, 2022 5:21 AM
I would have backed away from the hug and said it made me uncomfortable. That goes along the lines of the thread recently about not texting a female tenant. I wouldn't return and put myself in a situation where it is just us. I am friendly w many tenants but not friends, even though there have been a few I would get along with. I have had long conversations with a few and if I'm working late or on an after hours call (like a blocked toilet) they might offer me a plate of food. One of my tenants has been there over ten years and I have seen her kids grow up. When one was sent to the hospital for a heart condition I visited. I also have had a couple of tenants that volunteer in the community with me, but friends with tenants, no. --24.194.xxx.xx
How would u handle this? (by Carolyn [MO]) Posted on: Sep 29, 2022 12:38 PM
This is only marginally related, and I think I had posted about it years ago when it happened.
In recent years I have had many visits to doctors at the hospital I have used. I was waiting at an elevator at the hospital. Then suddenly a woman walking nearby saw me and rushed over and gave me a big hug. I had no idea who this was and was searching my memory for former renters and such. She then said something that made me remember who she must be. Some years before she had rented a house from me - and I had evicted her. She went on about how nice and helpful I had been. I always tried to be decent to persons I evicted, and my guess is once she got over being angry about the eviction she realized she was the one who had been in the wrong.
Another time for a different house I had taken the renter to court and had a time set for the actual eviction. The day before the eviction time she saw me and almost knocked me over when she threw her arms around me. At first I thought she was starting to attack me and then I realized this was instead a big hug when she began to thank me. In some ways this was probably a repeat of the other woman I mentioned. I think this woman realized she deserved to be evicted and was appreciative of my still treating her decently. The main thing I remember I did was take her a large number of big boxes and trash bags for her to use to pack her things in. I didn't want to have to deal with her junk at eviction, and she appreciated having a way to pack up her things.
How would u handle this? (by Dee Ann [WI]) Posted on: Sep 29, 2022 5:13 PM
We are friendly with our tenants. Altho some try to be friends, I've only become true friends with two previous renters that are close to my age. I've been invited to visit and if we get the opportunity some day we will.
We don't have children. Once in a great while one of the young ladies becomes like a daughter to us. One time when a tenant got engaged and it was the end of her lease I was telling her how we loved having her and to take care that her young man treated her well...and without warning, she gave me a huge hug and a thank you...and yes she will make sure. Just a highlight of being a landlady. I've seen many a couple become engaged while living in one of our places...then married while still living there. --75.11.xx.xx
How would u handle this? (by GKARL [PA]) Posted on: Sep 30, 2022 5:54 AM
I've never had a tenant attempt to hug me. I don't set up any circumstances where they'd be comfortable doing that. I almost never engage in small talk or any discussion outside of issues related to the rental.
Generally, although I present a friendly exterior, I'm very wary and am aware that folks will try to study and assess to find a weakness to exploit. I provide no openings by keeping it business.
How would u handle this? (by Sir Walter [NC]) Posted on: Oct 1, 2022 5:37 PM
I detect some regional and cultural differences here. The hug that the wife gave Roy when he agreed to owner finance the home would not be at all surprising or shocking to me. But then again, I grew up in the South and hugs of joy are not uncommon.
Small Potatoes and GKarl, some years ago I worked in a company with offices in NC and NY. A man from a NY offices called and asked the office admin in NC to perform some task. In her customary way, she said something like "Okay, Sugar, I will take care of it." (Perhaps considered a verbal equivalent of a hug over the telephone.) The NY guy immediately called her manager and said she was inappropriate and implied that she was hitting on him. That was the laugh of the office for weeks. This was a prim and proper grandmother who wore dresses buttoned up to her neck. The response to the idea of her hitting on him was "in your dreams, buddy." Many of us thought that the NY guy had a stick up his behind, or needed to get out of NY more often.
I'm not going to get into regional opinions of what is considered appropriate or not. That would be just as fruitful as arguing whether Dems or Republicans are right or wrong.
I will say that, half the time, when you think that someone is thinking about you in a particular way, they're not. And when you think they are not thinking about you, they are.
Roy, you said that you are blessed to have them as tenants. And they have communicated that they feel blessed to have you as a landlord. You can leave it at that. Unless she is the state sweet potato pie champion, you can decline her dinner without regret. --24.233.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Sir Walter [NC]) Posted on: Oct 1, 2022 5:54 PM
And if Roy had not provided the extra information about the owner financing, I would have agreed with Ally. --154.21.xx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Sir Walter [NC]) Posted on: Oct 2, 2022 8:31 AM
After seeing Roy's post about the hugger being a 9.5 on a scale of 10 in a different thread, I amend some of my comments. While I still think that the wife is simply being Southern friendly, Roy could use a bucket of cold water dumped over him to cool him down. It might be a good thing if Ally was right and the couple was trying to fix him up. :-)
Enjoy your new phone, Roy. --154.21.xx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Patti [OK]) Posted on: Oct 4, 2022 11:35 AM
Never rent to friends you like or family because we rented two different properties to two family members and they literally destroyed our properties. Now we donít speak to them ever. Because we went after them for damages and one of our family members put up the security deposit to make sure that it was held for and did not get it back. It went for towards the damages to the property and this person thought she would get back. So from then on we never rented to a family member or friends again. We also explain to them that this a business relationship not a personal relationship it is business but they forgot about that. --68.97.xxx.xx
How would u handle this? (by janice [OH]) Posted on: Oct 4, 2022 4:26 PM
Always be friendly, not friends. --107.11.xxx.xx
How would u handle this? (by Paulette [WY]) Posted on: Oct 4, 2022 11:10 PM
Is owner financing really a good idea? My husband did that once on a trailer he owned. The people skipped out after a few months. He got stuck with cleaning up the place. I would never owner finance.
We try to be friendly while keeping it professional. We want our tenants to know that we are the owners and we are in charge. If you get too friendly, they will think they can walk all over you & get away with things. On the other hand, we want our tenants to feel comfortable telling us when there is a problem as soon as they notice it and that we will take care of it. We also don't rent to friends or family for all the reasons mentioned above. It's not good business and you can lose their friendship when things go wrong.
It's a fine line between being professional and being too friendly. I hope things turn out well with that couple Roy. --47.28.xxx.xxx
How would u handle this? (by Sandy [CO]) Posted on: Oct 5, 2022 12:17 AM
See they DID have ulterior motive. They did want something more from you. Hey it's fine if you want to sell owner-carry. Owner-carry can be a great way to go, with higher rent along the way, it can work out well.
I feel in relationships with tenants the landlord has more to lose then the tenant. So we keep it "friendly business".
I will say I've tried it out and have learned my lesson.