We're invited to a Memorial for my lifelong plumber's brother. They have become like family to us.

Tomorrow, his family and a few friends are gathering to celebrate at a sports bar he enjoyed.

Do you put money in a card for one of these? In the past, if there was a dinner and funeral I think some people may have done that.

Anyone know the etiquette on this?

Waiting to seal the envelope after hearing from the group.

Was thinking about this while working outside. If it were my electrician’s bro, I start at forty, sixty or more if food or beverages were provided.

They are ordering pizza and soda for all. They are truly more like family than blood family in our lives. Was invited to wedding, 2 funerals and sadly, this memorial.

Local funeral Homes provide envelopes at the registration book for such contributions, usually a drop box too.

For close family, we do a hundred, cousins, aunts, uncles, fifty. Some of the thank you cards described the memorials the families set up with the donations. Scholarships, improvements to the church, cancer society, or just funds to help far away a family members get home for the send off.

When a tenant heard her ex, and the kids’ dad, I was at the house some project or the other, I had only fifteen bucks cash on me, but I handed it to tenant ‘s brother, said it was for anything they needed. Two days later, tenant saw me, gave me a big hug, and the money ack. Said that I thought to do that meant so much to her. She said they were fine as far as funeral arrangements (it wasn’t unexpected) but that I thought of them meant a lot.

It wouldn’t have been appropriate for me to show up at the funeral (different situation than yours,) so, the cash was my ‘ stand-in.’ So, I can see your point. My dad was always generous with time, talent, treasure, guess it’s in my nature.

Being as close to this family as I am, the brother died of cancer and at the end there were many expenses to make him comfortable that my plumber paid for, as he did for other relatives that died in the past. He is the one who coordinated the memorial for the family, himself and friends that wanted to pay tribute to his brother. And he is the one paying for it.

If you value the life time long plumber - and you should, I would absolutely attend the funeral.

Some people may not have a great deal of cash in their bank account. So if I feel inclined to give money, feel free to give generously.

What does that mean?

Dee Ann,

I would mention in the card the money is to help with food and expenses.

I think cash is OK and if the family is not affluent, greatly appreciated. A grocery gift card might look more professional.

Our standard gift for weddings, graduations, etc of friends is a $100 check.

More blessed to give than recieve. Be generous. It feels good.

Dee Ann,

I would mention in the card the money is to help with food and expenses.

I think cash is OK and if the family is not affluent, greatly appreciated. A grocery gift card might look more professional.

Our standard gift for weddings, graduations, etc of friends is a $100 check.

More blessed to give than recieve. Be generous. It feels good.

I was raised in a small town. It is common practice here for people to put money in condolence cards. I have never seen a mention in the condolence card specifying how the money is to be used. Often, $50 to $100 is included, but include whatever you can afford and is on your heart. Money is gifted regardless of the relationship. I have never heard of family fighting over the money included in a card. These cards are given directly to or mailed to the family member that you are close to, or the family member most directly impacted. In my circles, the option is for you.

In more metropolitan areas, condolence cards are harder to find for some reason.