6 months ago, I rented a house to an elderly man who was in the early stages of Dementia. His ex-wife, who actually lives on the same street that he does, has been handling his financial affairs and making sure his rent gets paid on 1st. Things are changing now.

His ex-wife called this morning and said she is getting tired of baby-sitting her ex husband and needs to finds someone who can handle his financial affairs and there does not seem to be anyone else in her immediate family willing to do this.

I would talk to the X and ask if she can arrange a direct withdrawal on his account paid directly to you, each month. You may need to talk to his banking institution along with the x to have this arranged, but it would definitely be worth the effort.

P.B.

A conservator can be appointed by the court. There are costs typically. Check with the county or other level of govt as to whether they have an agency to deal with such things. It might be called the public administrator. Be prepared though for such an agency to be very slow and with more work than the case worker can handle.

Does this man have no family - children, grandchildren, siblings, anybody?

If not, then a public social worker may need to get involved to look out for his best interests, through the court.

As far as payment, why reinvent the wheel? Clearnow.

Court can appoint someone to handle this.

Here's a story about stuff like this:

Back in the 50's or 60's I think, there was a little old lady who who had a boarding house that catered to old retired guys, some with dementia no doubt. One day, a relative of one of these guys asked about him and was,I think, told he had moved away. This relative checked and found his ss check was still going to the house and called the cops. You can guess the rest. As I recall, they dug up 9 bodies just in the back yard. I don't know about the rest of the property.

So, Roy, you've got an opportunity here. You could maybe get yourself appointed to handle his affairs and get a very long term tenant out of this deal. /;).

Best idea is likely let the court handle it.

I just got off the phone with one of the local attorneys I deal with. I gave him my tenant's ex-wife's name and number. Setting up a conservatorship is solution here and there is a legal process involved here. First, a doctor will examine the tenant and if the doctor says in writing that he is incompetent, then the judge will approve a conservatorship to whomever the ex-wife chooses.

Not a good situation. Unsupervised people with dementia frequently tinker with stoves and furnaces, not to mention fecal blowouts and ruined carpet. I have my stage 4 demented mother in a double wide about a 100 feet from my house.

I have hospice and outside home health aides, and she needs constant supervision. Her stove has a gas cutoff, as I found

all her burners clicking one day in a propane filled house.

Oi weh....a separated couple, one with a known mental illness that is only going to get worse... my buddy, my friend.... WHY?!?!

*grins ... No worries, we can still hoist brews.

Anyway, I think one detail we need clarified first is do you have a LEASE or is it M2M, and WHO SIGNED IT?

Any lease signed by someone lacking full mental ability can be declared null and void. And if ex-wife didn't have Power of Attorney for him, then anything she signed on his behalf is meaningless, unless it's in her name and she's responsible. In that case, it doesn't matter how "tired she is of babysitting." She signed up for it, so babysit she shall, or she (and he) shall be evicted if the terms are not adhered to.

I see where Richard is coming from, and I think he's tongue-in-cheek on that advice. I would not want to get involved in this person's life. You already have a business relationship that demonstrates your have a financial interest that may not be in the tenant's best interest, which rules you out of any fiduciary role. I could see court battles if someone decides you were overcharging him on rent.

Best bet is give notice of non-renewal and help him find a new place. He will soon (1-3 years) need much more help that you will be capable of providing. People with dementia need constant supervision as they don't think of things like turning off the stove or the water and can wander off and/or hurt themselves easily.

I purchased an apartment building with one apartment rented to an elderly lady, in her late 80's. Another tenant who lived at the property as long as she did, over 30 years, looked after her. Then a few years later the tenant got admitted to the hospital and went full Dementia. Could never live on her own ever again.

No one new what to do. So I petitioned the court to allow the other tenant to look after her affairs. She had no one else left alive to look after things. So my other tenant cleaned out the apartment and made donations to local charities.

Then a couple of years later a taxi turns up at the front door of the complex, it's the old lady tenant with Dementia, gone away. She was discharged from her care facility and given cab fair.

Since her unit was rented to someone else for the past 2 years, she was forced to find a new rental. She went back on section 8. Six months later her Dementia returned, went into the hospital and then passed away.

Sid,

My tenant does have an adult daughter living with him who grocery shops, cooks meals, laundry etc. According to the ex-wife, this daughter is not good with money and should not be trusted with financial issues.

6 months ago, I had reservations about renting to this man, however, his ex-wife was there at the MTM leasing signing and she assured me she would make sure his rent got paid which she has done,...so far. Because the tenant/ex husband treats his ex wife with such disrespect, she told me she wants out of this.

I will call the ex-wife and tells her this: I will evict your ex husband if the rent is not paid. After this, your ex husband will either be homeless OR will be camping out on your front doorstep. So, you are going to have to deal with your ex one way or another whether you like it or not.

I'd say I predict trouble ahead. Can you cancel current lease and replace with month-to-month with his name, his ex wife's, and daughter's so you can have one or two,legally sane signers of the lease?

LOF,

No need to cancel anything yet,..no crime has been committed yet. He is on a MTM lease. I have heard from the ex wife that his utilities have not been paid in 2 months and it just a matter of time before those get shut-off.

Ken,

For the last several years I have dealt with family members who have Alzheimer's diagnosed by a Doctor and other members who had memory issues that left them unable to balance a check book or pay bills.

Not sure if you have talked to the tenant and the daughter. Auto-draft is the short term solution for the rent. Long term I would try to talk them out of the house, because Alzheimer's and or memory issues will only get worse.

Conservatorship, POA, Trustee identification for estate affairs may take months to set up.

If it helps, please note, Early stages Alzheimer's/Dementia patients do have Moments of full cognizant ability.

The neighbor I had a few years ago was getting dementia. He started running into everything with his car. One day he was out painting his bumpers and went to move his car. The next thing I know, he is running completely over my magnolia tree, almost hit my house, but had enough thought to turn the wheel and headed down my driveway where I was leaf blowing and would have hit me, if I had not seen him coming. I had been watching carefully. I am glad he is gone.

Watch the "I Care A Lot" trailer on Youtube. Shark conservators and guardians are notorious for bleeding their clients dry. BTW, there is a new Alzheimer medicine available as a generic. Potential new treatment for Alzheimer's disease would be relatively cheap (Diazoxide (generic Proglycem))

Medical XPress / Molecular Psychiatry / RIKEN Center for Brain Science (CBS) in Japan ^ | Nov. 30, 2021 | Naoto Watamura et al

Researchers have discovered that the protein ±-endosulfine (ENSA) is involved in the development of Alzheimer's disease. Studies in mice showed that eliminating this protein entirely or using drugs to block its function reduced physical changes in the brain associated with the disease and improved memory. Drug therapy that aims to block ENSA activity could be a more effective treatment than what is currently available, as well as being cheaper.

Roy,

Good, important post!

Urgent! #1! Increase the insurance on the home!! Fire is around the corner.

Timing: In three weeks my Grandma went from a little forgetful to strapped in a wheelchair, not recognizing anyone and babbling incoherently. “OK now” could last for years or just a few weeks.

With his good income he might be able to move into a care home for his own safety. They cover everything so no bills to pay.

NO ONE likes to make big life decisions.

Ex and Daughter should have Power of Attorney. POA is just a form from online and he signs in front of a Notary. Done.

Overall get ready for a bumpy ride. As others have said tnis will get worse, not stay the same. The ex’s proclamation is just the beginning.

We help a friend by paying her bills and it’s getting worse. She forgets we are HELPING. She has started accusing us of stealing and her family believes her, not the monthly printout we give her.

A family member walked her into the first atty door they found. The atty charged her $600 to ask to see that printout. So we paid that pointless bill from her bare bones account.

Maybe its just me, but I think many people rent to people with Dementia

Thanks Brad20K,

When I first met at my tenant 6 months ago, I did not even realize he had dementia. He and I had several conversations and at the time he seemed a completely normal 75 year old man who had retired from 30 years in the Navy. It was his ex-wife who did most of the talking and it through her I learned of his early stage of dementia. As a precaution though, I made sure she was on board for future help and why I insisted this be a Month to Month arrangement.

Sid and others,

The 'house' in this post is not actually a real house but my only SW mobile home that is located in a Class D residential hood of mostly foundation built houses. This is NOT an F hood, but a solid D hood where a lot of trashy white people live. The reason I am telling you all this is because for the last 12 years, trying to find a decent tenant for this MH has been challenging to say the least. Not impossible, but just challenging. Class D hoods is where you have to learn how to separate the 'wheat from the chaff' and in D hoods, there is always a ton of chaff and not much wheat.

In retrospect, 6 months ago after taking 10 applications from mostly worthless deadbeats, my elderly 75 year old applicant with $4K in guaranteed retirement income was the only 'wheat' that was available at the time. So, I rented to him. And no different than any other tenant of mine, if things don't work out, I evict them and then move on to the next tenant. Rinse and repeat.

Ken,

Lana,

I agree with you. My tenant is the only person that can legally access his own bank account which he uses a debit card for. Each month he withdraws large sums of cash which he keeps in his wallet. After that, I do not know how he spends his money and in his mental state, he does not even remember from day to day where he spends his money.

Ken,

I’m with Lana. Best for you and tenant is to have his family arrange for a nursing home ASAP. It can take sometimes so limit yourself to a period as you have MTM. I would not have this take more than 3 months as condition get worse .. Such person eventually (soon) can’t be left alone at all if not already.

I had my mother friend who used to share a room at my parents stayed at one of our properties as a tenant as my parents are helpless now. She felt one day. I had to get her to hospital, communication with staff and doctors, rehab. I took her in temporary when released but behind in doing paperwork for a nursing home. She felt again 1-1/2 yrs later so I had her go to a nursing home after hospital release. Since I have done 2x extensive paperwork for Medicaid application. It is still up in the air. I’m afraid if paperwork will be ongoing.

In the meantime, I have my dementia mother who lives with us so as my handicap brother. I have a caregiver visits a few times a week as a companion, converse, and walking outdoor, as I work. We have to put up gates and locks bc she would do things that compromise her health. A person of such conditions can’t be left alone so that is my brother’s part.

Best wishes!