OT: Retirement? (by Dee Ann [WI]) Feb 20, 2021 9:45 AM|
OT: Retirement? (by Johnny B. [MA]) Feb 20, 2021 9:49 AM
OT: Retirement? (by Dee Ann [WI]) Feb 20, 2021 10:30 AM
OT: Retirement? (by MikeA [TX]) Feb 20, 2021 10:40 AM
OT: Retirement? (by RB [MI]) Feb 20, 2021 10:50 AM
OT: Retirement? (by plenty [MO]) Feb 20, 2021 10:53 AM
OT: Retirement? (by plenty [MO]) Feb 20, 2021 10:54 AM
OT: Retirement? (by #22 [MO]) Feb 20, 2021 10:58 AM
OT: Retirement? (by MikeA [TX]) Feb 20, 2021 11:11 AM
OT: Retirement? (by Alan [CA]) Feb 20, 2021 11:11 AM
OT: Retirement? (by Renne [TX]) Feb 20, 2021 11:24 AM
OT: Retirement? (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) Feb 20, 2021 11:32 AM
OT: Retirement? (by Busy [WI]) Feb 20, 2021 12:15 PM
OT: Retirement? (by myob [GA]) Feb 20, 2021 12:44 PM
OT: Retirement? (by Still Learning [NH]) Feb 20, 2021 12:47 PM
OT: Retirement? (by PG [SC]) Feb 20, 2021 12:48 PM
OT: Retirement? (by Ray-N-Pa [PA]) Feb 20, 2021 1:27 PM
OT: Retirement? (by Robert,OntarioCanada [ON]) Feb 20, 2021 4:58 PM
OT: Retirement? (by Hoosier [IN]) Feb 20, 2021 8:34 PM
OT: Retirement? (by Wilma [PA]) Feb 20, 2021 9:34 PM
OT: Retirement? (by Jkj [MA]) Feb 21, 2021 1:27 PM
OT: Retirement? (by Dee Ann [WI]) Feb 21, 2021 2:40 PM
OT: Retirement? (by Susan [OH]) Feb 21, 2021 3:27 PM
OT: Retirement? (by Still Learning [NH]) Feb 21, 2021 6:11 PM
OT: Retirement? (by LindaJ [NY]) Feb 21, 2021 10:59 PM
OT: Retirement? (by Tom [ME]) Feb 22, 2021 7:21 AM
OT: Retirement? (by Plenty [MO]) Feb 22, 2021 8:34 AM
OT: Retirement? (by Jim [OH]) Feb 22, 2021 5:05 PM
OT: Retirement? (by bet [MA]) Feb 24, 2021 7:19 AM
OT: Retirement? (by Dee Ann [WI]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 9:45 AM
Hi Folks, DH retired yesterday. Came home depressed and told me how difficult it was to tell all his UPS customers (and their dogs) goodbye. Said he would work the rest of his life if he could. I basically just listened. I know this was a difficult decision for him.
From any who've gone through this themselves or with their significant other, any suggestion on how to best help him with this?
We have the properties to work on; he's not interested. It's like the life was sucked out of him.
OT: Retirement? (by Johnny B. [MA]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 9:49 AM
Was he forced to retire? Maybe he can go back part time if itís something he truly enjoys? --174.242.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by Dee Ann [WI]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 10:30 AM
Johnny B: no, not forced to retire, just the opposite. He was going to retire last year at this time but decided to stay for increased retirement benefits...then before Christmas and his boss asked him to stay. What he liked about his job was the dogs he gave treats to each day, the customers on his route. If he were to get a different route or have to work until 9pm each day, which which is te case when others are on vacation in the summer, some Christmases, and other days.
He can go back, but like he said, what's the point? As a boxcar driver, there are no part time positions. --75.11.xx.xx
OT: Retirement? (by MikeA [TX]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 10:40 AM
When I made the leap 3 years ago I had a similar experience. It's hard to completely change a routine you have been doing for decades and the loss of friends you don't see daily. It initially feels like I lost something. For me it lasted about 3 months. I took a lot of time reading, relaxing, and thinking at first. I made a list of things I wanted to try spending time doing and then slowly started working through it until I found a good mix of activities and routine that I am happy with. What really helped me was to get out and volunteer time with some non profits that interested me and got involved in teach a bible study. It helped fill in the gap, building new friendships, making my time feel valuable again, and getting into a new routine.
The good news is that it doesn't last long and once through it life is happier than before. --64.130.xx.xx
OT: Retirement? (by RB [MI]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 10:50 AM
guess how many of us has made the transition
to retirement ?
It's time to "create a new".
Every day is a Friday ! --199.192.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by plenty [MO]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 10:53 AM
It is an adjustment. Perhaps he just needs to rest and then catch up with himself. My husband read a few books that were helpful before retiring. He has hobbies and other interest outside of his work. And it's important to stay busy. I would be super concerned and watch for signs of depression as it's such a lost of the platform he built his self around. May be necessary to visit old friends, travel, have dinners and social time and it really sounds like the social lost is what he is going to miss. Maybe take a drive around his UPS route and hear about the people/families and pets he serviced and got to know. Maybe he could send them a card of appreciation? Oh i feel for you both, it's been almost 2 years since my husband retired and we often have conversations about the transition period of doing so. ACUTALLY still finding out landlegs and making adjustments. Get a few books on retirement. Maybe he'd like to just soak up some sun and ocean, for sure write a date on the calendar and take a trip to celebrate life and all that he has given to so many,,, his giving cup may be on the shy side of full. There should be a party, vacation or some recongizination of the change. Something that says that WAS then and THIS is ahead. --172.58.xx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by plenty [MO]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 10:54 AM
RB you got it! We have a funny saying when someone ask "How is retirement?"
Every day is a siesta and every nite is a fiesta! --172.58.xx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by #22 [MO]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 10:58 AM
Totally nowhere near retirement here, but I've seen some people close to me go thru it. The ones that have done best have something to do everyday- a reason to get out of bed.... my father in law golf's 4-6 times a week and has the best retirement of anyone ive ever seen. The ones that have done the worst are the ones that don't have anything to do.. for them, its a race to the grave...gotta have a great reason to roll put of bed is what I'm saying.... sounds like he really likes animals..maybe some volunteer work with them or a job with them..not so much for income, but for purpose and enjoyment... --174.234.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by MikeA [TX]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 11:11 AM
RB has a good quote, creating a new life is actually quite exhilarating once you get past the loss. Besides some skills are transcendent, the continuous process improvement training from my former job has really helped improve the margarita recipe but there's always room for improvement. He just has to reignite his passions. --64.130.xx.xx
OT: Retirement? (by Alan [CA]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 11:11 AM
#22 stated it well! A person has to develop and maintain interests outside of work early on before retirement for the eventual transition. In my case, I began buying and renovating rental properties in my spare time during career years for fun and profit. --71.198.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by Renne [TX]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 11:24 AM
Dee Ann, I am so sorry!
I retired this fall after 30 years of teaching. I loved virtually every single second of it! Little children love to share everything...hugs, cupcakes, drawings, pink eye, and influenza.
I retired as my immediate family members are in their 80s with other health complications and I couldnít risk sharing Covid with them.
For the first two months I cried every day. Every single day. When I would drive by the school, I had to use my hand to shield it from my view or I would burst into tears. When I saw a school bus I sobbed. It is a mercy of God I never got into a car wreck!
I didnít want to do anything. Nothing interested me. I love our rental business and even that wasnít appealing to me. I am a type A personality so this was quite shocking.
Slowly those feelings subsided and now, 6 months later I can drive by the school or see a child with out becoming hysterical.
In hindsight, I guess I was grieving. I had much of my identity wrapped up in being an educator and when that was gone, I didnít know what to do.
I would suggest that you continue to listen and give him some time.
My personal belief is that (Ephesians 2:10) we were created to walk in good works and when we are not helping or serving our fellow man in some way, we will not feel fulfilled. So, for me, a life of frivolity would be miserable and pointless.
Could you both go and volunteer at an animal shelter (since he likes dogs)? Maybe he could help with meals on wheels since he likes driving? Maybe volunteer to take elderly people to their doctorís appointments? If it was just UPS, maybe he could deliver for Amazon or one of the grocery stores that delivers?
Wishing you both the very best!
OT: Retirement? (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 11:32 AM
He will get over it, but he will get over it faster if he finds a substitute activity.
He likes the dogs on his route, so suggest that he volunteer at the local shelter as a dog socializer. He can help dogs get a new loving home.
The dogs who are groomed and have good manners get the good homes faster than the out-of-control dirty dogs. If a dog will come nicely out of the kennel and not jump on people, walk on a leash without pulling, perhaps sit and offer a paw, that dog gets a home quickly.
Those are not hard things to train, but the dogs are in jail because nobody bothered to teach them.
It would give him something to do where he could give cookies to dogs and really help them. --76.178.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by Busy [WI]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 12:15 PM
My daughter and her kids run delivery routes for Aazon on weekends. I think she said itís a three hour tie window, and they sign u for a shift or not depending on their own schedule. Sheís been doing this to help get the kids out of the house, virtual learning is getting to them all. The warehouse they pick up out of is in Sussex, but I think there are other warehouses on the south and east sides of Milwaukee.
Wisconsin Humane society always welcomes regular volunteers. I donít know if MADAC uses volunteers or not, but thatís on the south side. As Woodsmoke said, socialization and manners helps the animals get a home. I plan on helping in the rabbit room when retirement comes.
Iíve been trying to get my husband to join the VFW for some time, but, I donít usurious hard. It has to be his idea,or, it wonít stick. So, I point out the VFW, or comment when we see them in a parade. Slowly, slowly, I am getting him to think about joining. He has always been one of those people who is defined by his job, and nothing else. Iíve got about six or seven years to get him to redefine himself before his retirement. He has taken up learning to play piano, and is starting to teach the grandkids too, so heís working on Redding himself too.
Best of luck to you and him. --172.56.xx.xx
OT: Retirement? (by myob [GA]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 12:44 PM
Why no interest in the rentals? That's surprising. After being a mechanic my whole life-- from 1964 to 2001 working on airplanes-- when I left that I was still a mechanic but on rental homes (for myself). The day I left the airlines-- I took a breath and said now I only have one job to do.
After 40 years of working on airplanes --- except for riding on them-- I'm done with that. People don't realize the responsibility each day of sending out an airplane that's airworthy for you and our families. BIG relief. --99.103.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by Still Learning [NH]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 12:47 PM
My sisterís mother in law is a dog walker in retirement. It gets her (or them as he often accompanies her) outside, exercise, time with dogs and what she calls her pocket money. --73.17.xx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by PG [SC]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 12:48 PM
I retired in 2013. Knowing that I can get up in the morning and do what ever I want most of the time is a good feeling.
He will miss the people and the dogs. That is something he will have to deal with.
Look for some part time work that he may LIKE. Not just anything. Part time UPS such as Training may be a good fit - many large companies are subcontracting all kinds of work.
If he isn't interested in the rentals I would seriously consider selling them.
Give it some time - he will come around. And for as something to do people will always say - Jim is retired he can do it, and before long Jim will have to many jobs to do.
Good Luck. --184.21.xx.xx
OT: Retirement? (by Ray-N-Pa [PA]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 1:27 PM
New chapters in our lives start all the time. As others have said, it is about giving back in a meaningful manner.
What ever he is passionate about he should pursue.
I retired the first time 16 years ago. I now volunteer with four different non-profits. --24.154.xx.x
OT: Retirement? (by Robert,OntarioCanada [ON]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 4:58 PM
Leaving full time employment was the better option as found was able to focus on doing repairs and renovations. First we able to cut out a lot of the operating costs where could shop for building supplies outside of the big box stores. Found shopping at a few different Habitat for Humanity stores where could buy a lot more less. For interior doors was able to buy seconds for $5 or $10 dollars where there was slight blemish as could justify buying new as when a door was destroyed by a tenant it did not matter. Focusing on the rentals where making the overall economic outcome improve. Like was told many times before you never get ahead by working for someone. Once can get into the swing of things then will occupied in the rentals where doing absolutely nothing may lead into depression. Found that acquired many skills like plumbing, electrical along was complete a bathroom renovation from start to finish. Found videos on You Tube very helpful. Even at house was able to make substantial improvements where was only out of the cost of materials. --99.236.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by Hoosier [IN]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 8:34 PM
Wife and both retired about 2 years ago. Wife suffered what your husband is going through, I did not. Suggestions?
1) give it time...there is an adjustment period...6 months to 2 years
2) read the book ďRetire smart, retire happyĒ
3) engage in hobbies...this is what i did and I love it
4) have a schedule. Get up same time each day, consistent meal times, etc
Good luck --99.92.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by Wilma [PA]) Posted on: Feb 20, 2021 9:34 PM
My husband retired after nearly 40 years of teaching. He had a project all lined up, restoring a family classic vehicle. This got him through what could have been an empty time. He actually was surprised when school started, and he didn't feel sad, likely because he was accomplishing something that he never could have in the past - no time.
He also volunteered with a group of men from our church - helping a guy who was newly disabled, helping people move, playing instruments for church. He also tutored a little, which let him scratch the teaching itch.
Your husband sounds like a people and dog person, so encouraging him to volunteer sounds right up his alley. --96.245.xx.xx
OT: Retirement? (by Jkj [MA]) Posted on: Feb 21, 2021 1:27 PM
What about actually getting a dog, not just volunteering at a shelter? --174.196.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by Dee Ann [WI]) Posted on: Feb 21, 2021 2:40 PM
I thought getting a dog would be the trick and brought it up yesterday. He said if "I" wanted a dog he would help take care of it with me, but that he didn't want any more responsibility. I think if we got one he fell in love with that might change. Am still thinking on that one!
We have a motorcycle so will bring up him planning us some trips for warmer weather. Maybe we should visit some of the landlords here and rent one of your vacancies. We are fun, clean and handy!
On one of our vacations to Ashville, we met a couple from Georgia at a wine bar. We talked with them in length regarding retirement. Before we parted for the evening they invited us to come visit and stay in there guest house. We haven't reached out to them, but wasn't that nice.
Great ideas here; keep them coming. I feel due to the number of hours he was forced to work, and the properties, he never had time to get any hobbies. He enjoys reading so a trip to the library is in order. --198.54.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by Susan [OH]) Posted on: Feb 21, 2021 3:27 PM
I would recommend getting a dog. Have your hubby research the different breeds and get something that fits your lifestyle.
Your could either get a puppy or a rescue. There are rescues for almost every breed!
I really think if your hubby "misses the dogs", he will fall in LOVE with whatever dog he "helps you take care of".
As you probably don't remember, my hubby and I got a dog 7 years ago, after our youngest turned 18-with the idea to get back into showing-to keep us active! And active we are! My hubby is now President of the local kennel club, he volunteers @ our local Obedience club-on Tuesday, he and a couple others clean the building, and on Thursday, they set up the Agility course for the following week. We always go to Agility class on Fridays, and sometimes we go up Tuesday and/or Wednesday night for Obedience classes. And some weekends, we go to shows!
Who knows-if your hubby goes to "dog school" with your new dog, it may launch a whole new hobby for the both of you! --76.189.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by Still Learning [NH]) Posted on: Feb 21, 2021 6:11 PM
If that was his response, donít get a dog, at least not yet. I have a 5 month old puppy and I love him but if your husband decides he wants to travel or do other things the dog may hamper that unless you have children, friends, neighbors that will take the dog. --73.17.xx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by LindaJ [NY]) Posted on: Feb 21, 2021 10:59 PM
I am going to miss my UPS driver when he retires next year. Since I have a long driveway and he has to drive down it, we always have a little chat when he stops. My dog will also miss those treats as well. She knows when it is UPS and not the other deliveries!
Yes, retirement is 6 Saturdays and a Sunday. And it does take some getting used to. Do you have any remodeling/upgrades that need to be done on your own place. So often that gets neglected. Maybe you can talk him into working on some of that. If you are home, get him to run some errands, do some with you. Research a purchase or that remodel on the internet. (My DH and I are planning this years remodel when he is on summer break from teaching.)
Of course with COVID and winter we are all going crazy with so few places to go and not wanting to meet with friends as much... Do you have grown kids, do they need help with something.
How about a part time job at Lowes or Petsmart, delivery for a restaurant or even Walmart delivery or pickup. Fewer hours but still get out to see people and their pets.
Go take a walk, where people walk their dogs. Here the golf course is a dog walk area in winter, we also have dog parks. --71.164.xx.x
OT: Retirement? (by Tom [ME]) Posted on: Feb 22, 2021 7:21 AM
I don't understand.
If he liked it SO much, and is welcome to return, why doesn't he? --74.78.xxx.xx
OT: Retirement? (by Plenty [MO]) Posted on: Feb 22, 2021 8:34 AM
When he's ready... DoorDash would be an excellent part time fun option for him. People, pets, delivery! Maybe he will take up an interest in the rentals, repairs, accounting, showings? --172.58.xxx.xxx
OT: Retirement? (by Jim [OH]) Posted on: Feb 22, 2021 5:05 PM
Dee Ann, did you know that all Fed-Ex drivers are self employed? If the truck says Fed-Ex Express, those drivers are company drivers. Otherwise all the other Fed-Ex drivers are self employed contractors. He could do that and literally work part time. I asked my neighbor down the street how he could be home each day for lunch and mowing his yard in the afternoon with his truck parked out front. He answered;" That's not my truck and I work for myself".
Wow, what an eye opener! The guy paid his own retirement, benefits, collected a paycheck and raised his family as a self employed delivery driver. Did you know there is a company that wants to put route delivery people into delivery trucks as self employed owners? It's called routes for sale RFS.com. This may work for him. I could not do it, but it may work for him. --184.57.xxx.xx
OT: Retirement? (by bet [MA]) Posted on: Feb 24, 2021 7:19 AM
I believe he is going thru an ID crisis. It can happened, both of us have gone thru it. It just takes time to redefine who you are and become a new person. Lots of different activities to keep him busy, the man cave, friends new hobbies ect. --45.19.xxx.x