I've owned this rental house about ten years and these other people bought the house next door about three years ago.

The man doesn't speak a lot of English but I knew he was upset about the stray cat my ex-tenants were feeding. I bought a cat carrier a couple months ago and got rid of the cat.

Then he was upset about a small tree in my backyard whose branches were touching the top of his fence and he wanted me to trim the tree. Normally I would think that would be his responsibility but I went ahead and did it to smooth things out with him.

Then today I was working on building a new gate and he comes over SHOUTING and gesticulating. I found out he's in a fury because I put the old gate on the grass strip between the sidewalk and the street (tomorrow is bulk trash pick up day) and the gate is lying right on the invisible "line" between the two houses.

What do you think about this behavior? Was I in the wrong in some way? I'm perplexed by the whole situation.

I am going to steer clear of him. Maybe he is under COVID stress?

Are you female? I get male next door renters, owners whatever pushing me around all the time about this or that. If you are female he might be trying to get your attention in the strange way that some men try pain to get positive attention. Like Romney throwing a stone at his future wife while she was riding her horse. That's from an intro letter SHE sent out.

Ally I'm a guy.

More and more people are behaving this way. I would ignore the neighbor. Too bad for the neighbor, he had a wonderful chance to meet you and learn from you.

Leave him to whatever pathetic existence he has made for himself.

Smokowna

I think he is being stupid because I'm not planning to sell and he is going to have to deal with me and my tenants one way or another.

Smokowna

I think he is being stupid because I'm not planning to sell and he is going to have to deal with me and my tenants one way or another.

Unless he apologizes I'm done with him. He's just rude.

J,

I'll be a little more "direct". You might not like my answer.

A wise person taught to reverse the circumstances and see how I would feel.

HIS cat, HIS tree, HIS trash...

Cat: yes, your tenants = your fault.

Tree: That was a reasonable request. Nothing to get upset about. I would ask the neighbor to trim THEIR tree off my fence. If he trimmed it you might be writng about how he trimmed your tree without your permission.

Gate: be a better neighbor. You knew it was close to his property when you dropped it. Is there a chance you were being passive aggressive?

Just say sorry and move it.

I have neighbors on both sides that do not respect property lines. It's annoying but they are nice people and I have bigger fish to fry.

Jesus said the greatest commandment is to treat others as you want to be treated.

A little respect, even if uneven, goes a long way.

BRAD

Gosh was it a full moon or something? 3 houses ago a neighbor came over complaining about an old stove I left at the curb. She said we don't do that around here!!!! I said people make money picking up metal and need the cash as part of income. She went ballistic then next day when i place a metal BBQ grill by the stove. She called code enforcement after confronting me again.

I told her it's the way I DO THINGS and she wasn't going to bully me. This is my neighborhood. Not her's. Told her she was a complainer and to just stay off my property--

He sounds OCD. I get that. I however would have just trimmed the tree off of my fence. The cat wasn't his fault and maybe he didn't know how to deal with it. If he is from another country then he may not realize that the bulk trash gets picked up by the city.

Have you ever explained any of this to him?

reading through I was perplexed by the answers until Brad.

I would be mad about the cat too - he could have removed it but it was an issue because of you (through your tenants).

Tree limbs? Sorry but I'm usually odd man out here on this site. I keep my trees trimmed so they don't encroach on neighbors properties and the few times they cause an issue, I take care of it. Legally right and morally right are different issues.

Perhaps when he comes out, you can say to him "Hablo ingles", over & over & over, until he goes in the house and brings out someone to translate.

Or perhaps you have a friend who could translate?

Or try google translator. It's not perfect, but worked well enough to help me kind of communicate with some contractors recently.

I'm siding with your neighbor. He is territorial about his property, but it is, after all, his property and not yours to place your trash on.

You know he is going to defend his property rights, so just keep your stuff off of his property and you will have fewer problems.

Ally I don't think the ethnicity is a factor. The neighborhood is mostly Hispanic (I've owned two homes on this street -- sold one of them). I've never had a problem with anyone else there, just this guy.

Alley that's like saying white people from Bedstiverson are the same as white potato farmers out on east LI!!!!!

My only concession to him is holding my tongue the next time he lashes out, and not putting my bulk trash near the invisible "line" on city property in the future. He isn't nice now -- at all -- after I got rid of the cat and worked on the tree so I don't see what I gain by doing more things for him.

My only concession to him is holding my tongue the next time he lashes out, and not putting my bulk trash near the invisible "line" on city property in the future. He isn't nice now -- at all -- after I got rid of the cat and worked on the tree so I don't see what I gain by doing more things for him.

but J, you didn't do him any 'favors' with the cat and/or tree. Those were issues that you created.

6X6, yep. Love that movie.

J,

He may not be overreacting. He may simply be experienced in a different way.

There may be something that you are doing or condition that you are creating that is creating unintentional downstream impacts, or that he is aware of will do so. And since you have not yet had the experience, you may not be able to connect the dots.

Life can sometimes be like dealing with a teenager wanting praise for making dinner, but being hurt for being told that they also need to clean up the big mess they made while doing so. We are all that teenager at some time to someone, no matter how old we get. We simply may not be aware of it.

Some people wear a mask while walking around outside for non-COVID related reasons. Over the top for one person is a reasonable avoidance of a problem for another.

It may not be a nice neighborhood, but not treating it as if it were nice would not make things any better. Just treat him with respect, regardless of how he treats you. And make certain that your actions are clean.

J, What I am reading is the root of the issue is not the cat, the tree limbs, or the bulk garbage--It is the manner in which he is approaching you. He is not "sharing" his concerns/issues in a calm, respectful manner. He is being an aggressor, with the yelling and gesturing.

Something that works for me when dealing with irate parents/guardians and deescalates the situation.

1-lower the volume of your own voice and speak in a calm manner. I know it can be hard when someone is going off on you. When they have to focus on hearing you it takes the wind out of their sails.

2.Validate their concern or feelings-I understand your concern. I can only imagine... I see where that would be upsetting...

Shaun,

Yes, that's the problem. He's never been polite this entire time, about anything. The guy was out sitting in his car glaring at me the other day. This is after I've started placing my bulk trash far away from his area.

I think this may be a case of buyer's remorse and it is just being taken out on me. These people are not young and understandably they probably aren't going to learn English at this point. That's probably why they chose this neighborhood. But now they are realizing the neighborhood is crap.

I had neighbors that got my home number and kept on calling me about a rental -- all hours of the night. My tenants were a bunch of roommates and students. They couldn't take the harassment from the neighbors and moved out early.

So I re-rented the house to a Rock Band, allowing them to practice their music during the weekend.... The louder the better.... This drove the neighbors insane....they thought a car parking after 11 pm wasn't right. How about a 5 member band and 20 spectators listening to loud music every weekend -- from 7 PM to 1 AM....