hold my tongue
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hold my tongue (by Melinda [MD]) Jul 11, 2019 7:47 PM
       hold my tongue (by Richard [MI]) Jul 11, 2019 7:55 PM
       hold my tongue (by plenty [MO]) Jul 11, 2019 8:09 PM
       hold my tongue (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) Jul 11, 2019 8:16 PM
       hold my tongue (by AllyM [NJ]) Jul 11, 2019 8:23 PM
       hold my tongue (by Robert J [CA]) Jul 11, 2019 9:00 PM
       hold my tongue (by Jim in O C [CA]) Jul 11, 2019 9:09 PM
       hold my tongue (by Jim in O C [CA]) Jul 11, 2019 9:09 PM
       hold my tongue (by Paulio [PA]) Jul 11, 2019 9:09 PM
       hold my tongue (by WMH [NC]) Jul 12, 2019 7:18 AM
       hold my tongue (by Still Learning [NH]) Jul 12, 2019 7:30 AM
       hold my tongue (by DJ [VA]) Jul 12, 2019 7:39 AM
       hold my tongue (by elliot [RI]) Jul 12, 2019 8:14 AM
       hold my tongue (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) Jul 12, 2019 9:47 AM
       hold my tongue (by Vee [OH]) Jul 12, 2019 11:26 AM
       hold my tongue (by Doogie [KS]) Jul 12, 2019 11:56 AM
       hold my tongue (by tryan [MA]) Jul 12, 2019 12:29 PM
       hold my tongue (by melinda [MD]) Jul 12, 2019 2:06 PM
       hold my tongue (by Landlord ofthe Flies [TX]) Jul 12, 2019 2:25 PM
       hold my tongue (by CJ [MO]) Jul 12, 2019 8:13 PM

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hold my tongue (by Melinda [MD]) Posted on: Jul 11, 2019 7:47 PM
Message:

Lately I have been put in a position where it would have been easy for me to speak my mind.. This goes for verbal and texting comments. So far, I have not said what I would like to say to a resident or potential tenant. How do you all refrain from saying something to someone when you really want to? --24.233.xxx.xx




hold my tongue (by Richard [MI]) Posted on: Jul 11, 2019 7:55 PM
Message:

I'll have to speak with owners/partners/lawyer/etc. about that and get to you with their answer. --96.40.xx.xxx




hold my tongue (by plenty [MO]) Posted on: Jul 11, 2019 8:09 PM
Message:

Sometimes you gotta. Safe here to vent. Code your real name. --99.203.xx.xxx




hold my tongue (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) Posted on: Jul 11, 2019 8:16 PM
Message:

Melinda,

Haha! Some days my tongue is raw with bite marks.

I simply turn away, slide into my Porsche, and drive away knowing that *I* know the real truth, as proven by my ride, my bank account, and my FREEDOM!!!

Automobile therapy works.

Smart alec answers do no good for anyone. Take the high road.

Save the zingers for us here - make us laugh!

BRAD --73.102.xxx.xxx




hold my tongue (by AllyM [NJ]) Posted on: Jul 11, 2019 8:23 PM
Message:

It's a business. Speak the language of business not high school or the gutter. Have dignity. Be a manager not a school kid. It's not easy all the time but picture yourself as a CEO, the owner of a business and speak that way. Watch people on tv who are in a position of leadership and copy them. I want to be a business owner not a high school brawler. --173.61.xxx.xx




hold my tongue (by Robert J [CA]) Posted on: Jul 11, 2019 9:00 PM
Message:

From experience I know that I can be recorded and that used against me because conversations made in the open are not privileged.

--47.156.xx.xx




hold my tongue (by Jim in O C [CA]) Posted on: Jul 11, 2019 9:09 PM
Message:

I try to do a lot of yes or no answers and not elaborate. I can always "I will have to check" and get back to you which many times I don't. --99.23.xxx.x




hold my tongue (by Jim in O C [CA]) Posted on: Jul 11, 2019 9:09 PM
Message:

I try to do a lot of yes or no answers and not elaborate. I can always "I will have to check" and get back to you which many times I don't. --99.23.xxx.x




hold my tongue (by Paulio [PA]) Posted on: Jul 11, 2019 9:09 PM
Message:

“Speaking your mind” can take different forms. I don’t make smart*** comments to tenants anymore. I used to, but it didn’t achieve anything. As I acquired more units, LLing changed from being a side pursuit to a full-time business. Now I don’t hesitate to speak my mind, but I keep it all business. --50.107.xxx.xxx




hold my tongue (by WMH [NC]) Posted on: Jul 12, 2019 7:18 AM
Message:

I often write emails that never get sent. Or get sent to myself. Or to my husband. Not to the intended recipient. --50.82.xxx.xx




hold my tongue (by Still Learning [NH]) Posted on: Jul 12, 2019 7:30 AM
Message:

Usually call my sister and share how I really want to respond, she comes up with an equally inappropriate one, we laugh and I move on (hopefully). She has even given my tenants nicknames before. --24.61.xxx.xx




hold my tongue (by DJ [VA]) Posted on: Jul 12, 2019 7:39 AM
Message:

Need thick skin in this business - alligator tough. Had this myself a couple times very recently (I mean more memorable ones - happens a lot at different levels)

Depending on the situation, Strategies include:

> Pray for strength & wisdom

> Silence

> I'l check with owners and see if that is possible, but it's an unusual request/situation, and I don't know if it will fly - but I can try for you.

> If someone is just being stupid (no real harm done) - that's their personal problem.

You can't fix stupid, but you can fix what stupid does.

>However, if it's a personal attack on my integrity, I will set that straight - clearly and politely.

> No arguing. Polite inquiry is OK. Gets a polite response/explanation of the facts - just the facts, not emotion. Raised voice/tone/accusations means the conversation is over.

Like Paulio said, sometimes you do need to speak up - appropriately.

If a prospect says/does something crazy, I can move on to the next prospect and be grateful for a bullet dodged.

If a tenant says or does something that is a lease or safety violation, they need to be corrected.

If a contractor screws up, they need to be corrected

Always remembering that you could be recorded at all the time these days helps to choose words carefully. So does writing it down.

And, yeah - venting here is sometimes the only safe place. We get it & can laugh / commiserate together.

--68.10.xxx.x




hold my tongue (by elliot [RI]) Posted on: Jul 12, 2019 8:14 AM
Message:

Well said, DJ[VA] --68.227.xxx.xxx




hold my tongue (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) Posted on: Jul 12, 2019 9:47 AM
Message:

They are tenants for a reason. Nothing you say or do is going to make a dent in their behavior. You can't teach them how to behave. They won't even understand what you are talking about.

Smile politely and screen out the obvious idiots before you rent to them, so you don't have to deal with them further.

If one gets in, take your first opportunity to get rid of him, so you don't have to deal with him any more than necessary.

Remind yourself that everything you say can be use against you in a court of law.

If you really can't control your own mouth, turn your rentals over to a property management company and stop interacting with the tenants.

--98.146.xxx.xxx




hold my tongue (by Vee [OH]) Posted on: Jul 12, 2019 11:26 AM
Message:

A bicycle ride is great therapy for me, and walking with my grandkids even in the store where they see the happy faces on this-n-that food product and sometimes I find it in the cart and set it to the side. --76.188.xxx.xx




hold my tongue (by Doogie [KS]) Posted on: Jul 12, 2019 11:56 AM
Message:

DJ has a great answer. Ditto that.

This is a business, just have to keep it that way. Read my post on "What do Do?". Talk about wanting to go off on someone! At the end of the day, it won't make a difference. Keep it professional in your communication. If it gets too bad, keep all communication in writing. When you respond, only respond to the business matters. Ignore the insults and other side remarks. Respond to those, but with someone else (like this forum).

Good luck! It takes some thick skin sometimes. --68.102.xxx.xx




hold my tongue (by tryan [MA]) Posted on: Jul 12, 2019 12:29 PM
Message:

Gotta know that the rage/insults/stupidity IS NOT ABOUT YOU ... so don't make it about you. --75.67.xx.xxx




hold my tongue (by melinda [MD]) Posted on: Jul 12, 2019 2:06 PM
Message:

Thanks you all. Good to read your answers and will apply them. --24.233.xxx.xx




hold my tongue (by Landlord ofthe Flies [TX]) Posted on: Jul 12, 2019 2:25 PM
Message:

I always remind myself that the best revenge is to not give them what they want. They want something to use against you. When you get angry, just turn into a rule spouting robot, quoting the lease and not straying. Then when they get even more mad and yell louder, be proud that you are getting under their skin. Gain satisfaction from that. Focus on not what they're saying but why they're saying it.

Assume everything is being recorded and that every judge will feel sorry for your tenant. That sets the mood to watch what you say right there.

If you're getting really worked up, then reward yourself immediately afterwards and focus on that activity. Imagine her yelling at you while you're mentally planning your "spa day" that starts the second you leave. --108.69.xxx.xxx




hold my tongue (by CJ [MO]) Posted on: Jul 12, 2019 8:13 PM
Message:

It is very stressful when talking to prospects or tenants on the phone for me. I am much more relax with text communication. --97.91.xxx.xxx



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