I’ve been feeling lonely and looking for something to do, that's meaningful and a social opportunity. My wife works most of her waking hours, and my children (18&20), who I love to spend time with, I see less and less. Being a landlord to students doesn’t give me much interaction with those of my own age.

Can you tell me what meaningful (or not) activities you do, where you have some good conversation? One place I (and my dog) get to interact with others is the dog park. However, I’m not getting exercise at the dog park (my dog is) or doing much constructive, other than watch my dog jump for a ball.

What do you think? I wish there was a mrlandord pub I could go to, where everybody knew my name….

If I ever have extra time where I feel bored, I would volunteer for a charity / non-profit. I currently do feline foster care for the local animal shelter. Would probably do more.

If you like to cook, maybe volunteer for meals on wheels- or a soup kitchen. If not cook, deliver the meals & visit with the clients.

Lots of places to volunteer & meet like-minded new friends.

Yes!! Volunteer for a charity. Thanks DJ. And the feline foster care too, but a tough one getting my DW on board. Her Korean parents said our dog was a bad idea (otherwise, they are wonderful…her parents I mean) I’m too old (56) for the fire department, but I could take care of some cats. Makes me think I should check my dad’s facility and see if there’s anything I can do there. I enjoy hearing about the seniors lives and how life used to be.

No Don, we’re not of Italian background. I guess if we were, I might have some family down the street. Is that what you mean?

That’s great Still Learning, that you substitute teach. I give you a lot of credit for that! And I’m sure your landlord groups love having you share your wisdom!

Most of the meaningful conversations I have are with other landlords. Some good, some I can't wait to end.

I'm not interested in making "new friends" at this point unless they are other RE investors. They won't understand me and I don't want to understand them, so why bother?

I like single person or few people activities like hunting and doing firewood.

Go flip a house.

Maybe you're done buying rentals, but most of us are never done needing money.

I am with NE, my kids know that I don't make friends cos I can't find anyone who share the similar interests nearby.

When kids start to have their own minds and friends and life, life gets really lonely..

BUCKET list

If you don't have one START it

If you do have one - DO IT

I work at home, so I hear you loud and clear. Even though my spouse is stay-at-home, she's doing a lot of activities during the day and/or cleaning the house or picking the kids up from school. We're getting ready to have a full house here in a couple of days when school gets out, but the other 9 months out of the year it's pretty quiet.

I've found that serving others often takes the focus off of me and gives me something to look forward to. In spite of being more "connected" than ever by technology, there are loads of lonely people out there.

Seniors with no close family connections and Military veterans are two groups that come to mind. A one hour chat per week gives them something to look forward to as well.

If that doesn't scratch the itch, how about music? Do you play an instrument and/or ever thought about learning to play? I practice about 3-4 hours a week to keep my skills at what I consider an acceptable level and play for my church Praise Team. Also looking to start jamming in a local band. Musicians flock together, once we find each other. And yes, there are usually a few "pub"-related sessions.

Regarding REI, is there a group in the area? If not, maybe start one... Land lord morning coffee hour or 4 PM Happy Hour?

First, congratulations on being financially stable!

You are at a great place in life. You get to define what your next step will be!

Some ideas can include your wife if she is interested:

Take classes to learn a new skill. Photography, auto mechanics, wood working, air conditioning, welding, financial planning, first aid, computers (hardware or software), etc.

Start an encore career that you always wanted to do but did not have the time to do it.

In addition to our local weekly REI meeting, we have a group that meets every Friday morning for breakfast. I could do more meals with landlords, but, my waistline won't allow it.

When new faces show up at the REI meeting, I offer to mentor the new people who show up. Most new-bees don't last long, but, one guy is really doing well.

Become a Dave Ramsey mentor. Start a financial peace small group, teach the Ramsey financial peace course at the high school, or start a financial peace group at your church.

Become a Habitat for Humanity volunteer.

I have a friend who volunteers 1 day a week at the local Boy Scout camp (he maintains the fleet of boats and jet skis) and another day at the Boy Scout office (he works on finances for the council). A couple friends work at the camp for the summer teaching classes (primitive woodworking, motor boating, auto mechanics, horseback riding, 4 wheeling, wilderness survival, etc). This could be Boy Scout, Girl Scout, church camp, Easter Seal camp, 4-H camp, etc.

Volunteer with your church. My church would like to have a volunteer handyman a day or two a week. They are also looking for volunteers to cover the phones during the day. Become a Sunday school teacher.

As a successful businessman, become a volunteer with the local SCORE office.

Volunteer with the local business incubator.

Red Cross is always looking for volunteers. Help with blood drives or join their disaster relief team.

The local hospital has a large group of volunteers. Sit in the nursery and rock babies all day, deliver flowers, talk to patients, etc. My Dad enjoyed volunteering at the hospital.

Meals on Wheels needs drivers.

After school tutoring.

Volunteer at a national, state, or local park.

The volunteer fire department or rescue squad is interested in "older" volunteers.

Ditto, NE and Ken.

Thank you all for taking the time to write.

Plenty, I wish I had some special knowledge to give tours. My family and I took a walking tour in Boulder and it was great. The guy who did it was passionate and knowledgeable and told us about the Indian history and the gold rush and it was just wonderful. I really do enjoy giving tours of my rental properties, but I know that’s not what we’re talking about:-)

But you got me thinking….close by are the college gardens and they use volunteers. They also have a continuing education center there. I think I’ll ride my bike over there and talk with someone.

NE, you got my laughing there about “can’t wait to end”. My thinking on meeting with other landlords is that around here most of the landlords are working regular jobs and run their properties as afterthought. I did enjoy talking to some of the other landlords at the bootcamp I went to. Those people really cared. Flipping a house is a neat idea. I love the renovation part of landlording, however my wife will say you need to multiply my renovation estimates by two, to be accurate.

Elliot, my one suggestion that works for me is for you to get a dog or two and head to a dog park nearby. There are always people to talk to there and they don’t drink at the dog park. I’ll be praying for you.

That’s a great idea: a bucket list. I feel like that just opened a big window for me. Thanks, nhsailmaker. I searched this site and saw some neat ideas on making a bucket.

NC in many areas is desperate for volunteer Guardian ad Litems. Most of us are retired as the job demands we be available for scheduled court days, etc.

I am not a kid person, was not sure how I would take to the job, but for me it's been very gratifying. It's kind of a detective job, and testifying in court is fun for me.

The training gave me to time to meet and talk with people my age - all educated and most of them rather well-heeled.

Interesting S i d. Thanks for sharing your experience. Your talk about playing an instrument got me thinking in a bit different direction. That’s great you can play at the church. Good luck with your “jamming” with the local ban. The other day I was home alone for dinner and went to an Irish pub where two guys were playing. I got up close to hear it well and talked to them when they were done. It was nice evening. As for my different direction, I don’t play an instrument, but I can design well, from my life as an engineer. I’m wondering if there is a place I could design and build, that’s not under the gun? Hmmm..got me thinking. Thanks!!

As for the LL association, the only local one we have here is when landlords are standing in line at court to pay for not snow shoveling the sidewalks in time. I do have a few landlord acquaintances nearby, but they don’t look at their business the same way I do. Well, thanks again.

Other options

Get involved with the local Historical Society or Geneology group.

MMIT, thanks for the congratulations. I do take what I have for granted, and so good for you to help me appreciate what I have. It is nice to be holding the tiller of the ship.

And yes, take classes to learn a new skill. I mentioned above there’s a continuing education building a bike ride away, at the university. I’m skilled at mechanical design, and wood working would tie in nicely with that. Maybe I could design and build some pieces that would hold up to my student tenants (they’re great by the way, on average)

Funny about your waistline not allowing too may breakfast meetings. I would love to meet with landlords who provide housing like it do. I’m boasting here I guess, but most landlords around here just “get by” and expect students to tear their places apart. I’m into doing surveys and laying out furniture on chief architect, so I don’t have much in common with most of them. Hmm…that being said, I really could get a lot out of meeting with other landlords. Maybe I could start something like: “the finer things (from The Office) Landlord club” :-)

Well, thanks MMIT for sharing all the ideas. It really helps to open my mind to options I never would have even considered.

WMH, thanks for the encouragement. My daughter mentors for the Catholic Charities and I’ve got the application on my desk for me to do the same. I’m gona fill it out today, I promise.

Good to know Jason, I’m not in this boat alone. And me too, VERY small circle of people, except for my friends at the dog park:-)

Bill, You have your wheels turning and thinking about various options now. Try one and if you don’t connect with it, allow yourself to not continue and try something different. Our kids growing up, needing us less and leaving home causes a lot of change, empty space, more time, reflection and an opportunity to look forward to create the life you want. It also can impact our marriages which were focused on raising our kids. A perfect time to concentrate on rekindling that relationship.

Bill, please consider becoming active politically. We need more like-minded individuals willing to take political positions. Far too many Progressives trying to shove their agendas off on businesses and LLs.

Thanks Still Learning for the encouragement. And also the reminder that if it's not for me I can quit. I think I hesitate to join something because of childhood memories of dreading to go to something my mom signed me up for.

JB, that is such a great idea, in NJ I'm the rare bird who doesn't think the federal government should be involved in everything. Also, I spend a fair amount of time griping about the damaging effects of rent control in my city, and doing something would be a better use of my griping energy.

Many years ago I joined the republican club, but it was a group of middle aged women who I couldn't get a word in with. But I'm past middle aged now, so maybe it would be different. Any ideas how to get started? Thanks - Bill

PROGRESS REPORT:

I just registered for "Tasting & Landlord Networking Event". I signed my wife up too, but figured I wouldn't interrupt her work so I'll break the news to her later. And it's dog friendly too! It's a bit out of my area but...

Also, I'm heading out with my daughter, and I'm going to stop by the continuing education office on the way to the tailor and see how I can educate myself.

Bill contact a local or state or city candidate or their office for ideas on how to get started. Maybe contact the RNC on what you can begin to do locally to get started. Thank you for considering this. We need all the help we can get these days particularly.

We have a group that assists veterans. They have a store that helps those leaving the service set up a new place, or get supplies, always need help stocking shelves and getting donations. They also do honor flights for Veterans of previous wars to go to the memorials in Washington. They gather care packages to mail to our service people in other countries. Setup tables at the mall or local eatery to get people to sign a Christmas card for a service person. They even organize meetups at local eateries for the veterans to get together. Always something to do to help our veterans and service people. Is there anything like that in your area? Maybe someone needs to start one.

Thanks AllyM, for your wide range of ideas. I like the idea of the gym, I’m wondering if there’s gyms where people talk to each other. Some relatives of mine have joined martial arts gyms and they seem to have a lot of comradery.

Thanks JB for how to get started. It would be nice to do something more than vote.

Terence, that’s sounds great. Right now my wife is crazy busy and wouldn’t want to do something like that, but maybe once she gets a little breather.

Thanks for the reminder, for some reason we stopped having parties and dinner parties and that got us out of a social circle.

LindaJ, where my father is at, there’s a lot of veterans including him. If I can get the nerve, maybe I contact them and ask where I can help out. I guess visiting my father more would be a good place to start.

You people are wonderful for taking the time to help me out. I really appreciate it. I love you all!!

Sorry you are feeling lonely. Perhaps join a club in an area you have interests?

Hoosier, I'm really working on it. Thanks for the encouragement and the ideas. I have signed up for a landlord mixer and am looking for a new church and a way to get involved in politics. And as for a gym Laura, I'm thinking I'm going to try a Jiu Jitsu school nearby. My daughter went to it and found the people really friendly and it was a good workout, so I have my hopes up.

And the other night, when my wife and I went for a walk, I asked her what her ideal life looked like, and she shared a fair amount and told me she likes to get outside with me, as long as she doesn't need to take a chairlift up and ski down to get her morning coffee (inside joke). So I'm thinking of doing that some more, I mean finding out what my wife would like to do.