Why Marry Her (by Dan [TX]) May 21, 2018 11:47 AM|
Why Marry Her (by NE [PA]) May 21, 2018 11:50 AM
Why Marry Her (by Jason [VA]) May 21, 2018 12:15 PM
Why Marry Her (by Nicole [PA]) May 21, 2018 12:43 PM
Why Marry Her (by S i d [MO]) May 21, 2018 12:46 PM
Why Marry Her (by Roy [AL]) May 21, 2018 12:57 PM
Why Marry Her (by Landlord ofthe Flies [TX]) May 21, 2018 1:52 PM
Why Marry Her (by David [KY]) May 21, 2018 2:19 PM
Why Marry Her (by WMH [NC]) May 21, 2018 2:44 PM
Why Marry Her (by AllyM [NJ]) May 21, 2018 3:03 PM
Why Marry Her (by Sparky [PA]) May 21, 2018 3:56 PM
Why Marry Her (by Deanna [TX]) May 21, 2018 4:10 PM
Why Marry Her (by cjo'h [CT]) May 21, 2018 4:29 PM
Why Marry Her (by GKARL [PA]) May 21, 2018 5:36 PM
Why Marry Her (by cjo'h [CT]) May 21, 2018 5:43 PM
Why Marry Her (by cjo'h [CT]) May 21, 2018 5:58 PM
Why Marry Her (by plenty [MO]) May 21, 2018 6:41 PM
Why Marry Her (by rentON [PA]) May 21, 2018 7:16 PM
Why Marry Her (by MikeA [TX]) May 21, 2018 8:16 PM
Why Marry Her (by LisaFL [FL]) May 21, 2018 8:57 PM
Why Marry Her (by Judi [CA]) May 22, 2018 12:38 AM
Why Marry Her (by Deanna [TX]) May 22, 2018 4:42 AM
Why Marry Her (by myob [GA]) May 22, 2018 4:53 AM
Why Marry Her (by LindaJ [NY]) May 22, 2018 5:45 AM
Why Marry Her (by Larry [MN]) May 22, 2018 6:09 AM
Why Marry Her (by RB [MI]) May 22, 2018 6:11 AM
Why Marry Her (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) May 22, 2018 6:12 AM
Why Marry Her (by Shelby [IA]) May 22, 2018 7:29 AM
Why Marry Her (by John... [MI]) May 22, 2018 7:38 AM
Why Marry Her (by dan [TX]) May 22, 2018 11:44 AM
Why Marry Her (by 1Gr81 [NC]) May 22, 2018 4:10 PM
Why Marry Her (by Dan [TX]) May 23, 2018 6:26 AM
Why Marry Her (by Cacique [NJ]) May 24, 2018 7:56 AM
Why Marry Her (by David [KY]) May 24, 2018 11:45 AM
Why Marry Her (by John... [MI]) May 24, 2018 12:27 PM
Why Marry Her (by LisaFL [FL]) May 24, 2018 1:46 PM
Why Marry Her (by Dan [TX]) May 24, 2018 2:04 PM
Why Marry Her (by David [KY]) May 24, 2018 2:21 PM
Why Marry Her (by 1Gr81 [NC]) May 24, 2018 5:38 PM
Why Marry Her (by John... [MI]) May 24, 2018 6:59 PM
Why Marry Her (by 1Gr81 [NC]) May 24, 2018 7:36 PM
Why Marry Her (by Lola [OH]) May 24, 2018 8:57 PM
Why Marry Her (by WL [CA]) May 27, 2018 8:24 AM
Why Marry Her (by Frank [NJ]) May 27, 2018 10:29 AM
Why Marry Her (by John... [MI]) May 27, 2018 11:00 AM
Why Marry Her (by cjo'h [CT]) May 28, 2018 11:24 AM
Why Marry Her (by Dan [TX]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 11:47 AM
So I have a girlfriend 53 yrs old. We have been on and off for the last three yrs. We have a great time together except when she drinks and gets upset because of my womanizing. She is retired from a state job but she adopted two little girls from a family member. My children are grown with the exception of my 16 yr daughter who to be honest I sometimes don't even like,...of course I love her but she got a sorry attitude that gets the best of me at time. this girlfriend seriously wants me to commit but I really just don't want to be tied up in relationship with just one woman.
She also knows I do well with my realestate portfolio. What would you do? --161.226.xxx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by NE [PA]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 11:50 AM
Boot her. You already know the answer. It's obvious in your post. --50.107.xxx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by Jason [VA]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 12:15 PM
If it's the monogamy portion of it that's deterring you, then it's time to let her go and start over. When you're "dating", it's acceptable to date mulitple partners. However, after three years a committed relationship should be implied.
If it's the commitment portion of it that's deterring you, then as long as both you and her are happy and monogamous, then I can't give you a good reason to get married. I don't know you or your beliefs, but IMO marriage is nothing more than a state sanctioned religious ritual.
If both of you aren't 100% committed for a lifelong commitment, then marriage is just going to be expensive and painful.
I have the utmost respect for the institution of marriage and will hopefully be ready again. My starter marriage at 21 left a bad taste in my mouth, so my opinion may be biased lol.
Why Marry Her (by Nicole [PA]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 12:43 PM
I'd ask Dr. Phil rather than ask landlords --72.70.xxx.xx
Why Marry Her (by S i d [MO]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 12:46 PM
I can't see that you're missing out on anything now other than life-long commitment, fidelity, etc. So.....it's like NE said. You've already told us you don't want any of that. If "good times" and multiple women are want you want, then marriage isn't going to be a blessing. --173.19.x.xxx
Why Marry Her (by Roy [AL]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 12:57 PM
Just how many other women are you seeing? Sounds to me like you are burning the candle at both ends and maybe even in the middle. You are not obligated to marry anyone but try to limit yourself to just one woman. --68.63.xxx.xx
Why Marry Her (by Landlord ofthe Flies [TX]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 1:52 PM
If it was the right woman for you, none of this would be an issue. You'd want to be monogamous and want to have her become an integral part of your life. I'm not seeing any of that in your post. Don't fall for the trap of convenience by dating someone just to have someone to date. It's a big time waster and you'll never meet the one that makes you happy by holding on to someone you frequent. --108.69.xxx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by David [KY]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 2:19 PM
So you have a "girlfriend" but you sleep with other women. You also have a kid you don't even like. You sound like a real class act. Actually you sound more like a pig. --70.62.xxx.xx
Why Marry Her (by WMH [NC]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 2:44 PM
As a woman, I'm really interested in this thread because 99% are male responders.
Head down, will continue to listen. --50.82.xxx.xx
Why Marry Her (by AllyM [NJ]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 3:03 PM
She drinks and you don't like it and you handle that by womanizing. This is over before it begins. Do not marry her or you will lose part of your property and bank account. If you back off a bit and just date her and slowly pull away she can find someone else. Don't be stupid. Re read what you wrote. I don't even know why you are still with her. --73.178.xxx.xx
Why Marry Her (by Sparky [PA]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 3:56 PM
I see no upside for you. Doesn't sound like she is bringing anything to the table. This relationship sounds like an albatross. Plus Texas is a community property state. Forget it. --100.6.xx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by Deanna [TX]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 4:10 PM
When I was in undergrad, I was in a serious relationship with a guy. We got along great. We were best friends from Day 1 of Freshman Orientation. We planned to get married after we graduated. We looked forward to our future. Things were awesome.
Except every six-to-nine months, he'd get cold feet for some mysterious reason. He'd break up with me. I'd cry. We'd be split up for a month or two, and then we'd get back together and everything would be hunky-dory until the next time.
The biggest favor he ever did me was telling me to my face, "I love you, but I don't want to waste my time dating only you."
That was exactly what I needed to hear. When he tried to get back together with me, per our pattern, I didn't want anything to do with it. (Later, I found out that he had neglected to break up with his high school sweetheart back home, who also expected to marry him when he graduated. So whenever he'd go home for vacations, he'd feel all guilty. By the time we were through, there were another two girls in the mix...)
I found someone else who was able to give me what I wanted in a relationship-- because while I thought he was enough for me, I obviously wasn't enough for him.
Our 18th anniversary is coming up later this fall.
My ex ended up finding someone else, and has a good life himself. --96.46.xxx.xx
Why Marry Her (by cjo'h [CT]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 4:29 PM
Dan,like Nicole said,none of us here are qualified to come up with an answer,and getting through to Dr.Phil,at this stage of the game is out of the question.My daughter while still going to college in Boston,rented on Comm Ave from a prominent Physiology Doctor but she had moved to the West Coast so she has lost contact.Anything to do with housing,we'ld be right up front for you,but your problem,out of our realm of possibilities.Your daughter although 16 and knows everything,will eventually realize that she doesn't know as much as she thought she did,it is then you'll realize what a treasure she is.as to your friend get her to cut back on the Jack Daniels or whatever it is that sets her off,maybe you should run for public office and become abit of a diplomat,might get you out of this tangled web you wove..........charlie..............sorry we can't be of more help.......................................... --174.199.x.xx
Why Marry Her (by GKARL [PA]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 5:36 PM
Ditto Nicole --172.56.xx.xx
Why Marry Her (by cjo'h [CT]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 5:43 PM
Dan,looking back on your problem,no not analyzing it or anything,just thinking,perhaps your daughter doesn't like the fact that you are paying more attention to this lady,than to her,would that ease the situation,just a little,and where is your 16 Yesr old daughters' mother in this scenario................charlie.................got to play fair in order to get treated fair....................................
Why Marry Her (by cjo'h [CT]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 5:58 PM
David,Back on the farm in Northern Ireland my father kept a mother pig and several younger pigs,They were all very selective with whom they associated.............
...........charlie.....................they could be easily insulted........................................... --174.199.x.xx
Why Marry Her (by plenty [MO]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 6:41 PM
Why Marry Her (by rentON [PA]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 7:16 PM
Would she be willing to sign a prenuptial agreement? That should tell if she loves you or loves your portfolio. --67.165.xx.xx
Why Marry Her (by MikeA [TX]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 8:16 PM
You probably should read up on common law marriage in Texas. There are some things you should not do or you may find yourself (or your heirs) defending why she doesn't already get half of your assets.
As to whether you should get married, you need to ask yourself whether you love her. The word love has been so misused in society the last few decades that you probably need to do some research before you can answer the question accurately. I would start by doing a deep study on the word Agape which is the original Greek word for the love I'm talking about, you will find lots of information on it. If you spend a few hours reading and studying about it, I promise it will help tremendously in sorting through the situation. --50.26.xx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by LisaFL [FL]) Posted on: May 21, 2018 8:57 PM
I'd break up with her. You don't have common goals. If you don't you're just stringing her along. Unless she's ok with that. I'd just make sure she understands your intentions. --173.170.xxx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by Judi [CA]) Posted on: May 22, 2018 12:38 AM
This reminds me of the 'count the red flags' posts we see here occasionally. She abuses alcohol and is unhappy with you as you are. You are a self-professed womanizer. Neither one of you sounds like a good candidate for marriage to each other or anyone else. What else needs to be said here? --71.94.xx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by Deanna [TX]) Posted on: May 22, 2018 4:42 AM
My understanding in Texas is-- the real estate would continue to be his separate property, because it was his personal asset prior to the marriage. However, he would have to keep the income from the asset totally separate, and would not be allowed to use joint income in order to do repairs/maintenance/improvements, without blurring that line. Any property purchased after the marriage would be joint property. So just marrying him wouldn't give her any rights to the property or its income in TX, but she'd have a half-stake in any future expansion. --96.46.xxx.xx
Why Marry Her (by myob [GA]) Posted on: May 22, 2018 4:53 AM
You said "commit" only question is how close or far is the institution she wants to be commited to? Yes commit her-- you should also seek help-- maybe a week or 2 at the same place. It might help you.
Have the well water tested at your place. --99.103.xxx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by LindaJ [NY]) Posted on: May 22, 2018 5:45 AM
Real estate portfolio aside. Lots of women think they can change a person by marrying them - wrong. You admitted womanizing while dating - well that is a lousy thing to do. You both should not be together for those specific reasons. PERIOD. Do both of you a favor, break up and don't go back. You apparently have other women that keep you busy.
You don't like your daughter at 16 years... well, that is a tough time for kids, they a need a parent to guide them and it doesn't look like you are a parent to help her. Your "womanizing" is not something a 16 year old should have to sort out.
Why Marry Her (by Larry [MN]) Posted on: May 22, 2018 6:09 AM
If she has sole custody of two little girls she has no business being out dating. How does she have time? She needs to put those little girls first in her life. Not trying to find a man.
Why would you want to be saddled down with this woman and her kids anyway? She's looking for daddy and a sugar daddy. Those kids have likely been through a lot of emotional trauma and will have issues to deal with as they get older. Yikes. Why would anyone want to step into that picture? You don't want to be a dad to these kids and you don't want to be her new income source.
Why Marry Her (by RB [MI]) Posted on: May 22, 2018 6:11 AM
Sounds Red. --47.35.xx.xx
Why Marry Her (by Oregon Woodsmoke [ID]) Posted on: May 22, 2018 6:12 AM
So, is there a landlord question, or were you just in the mood to over-share your Dr Phil moment with the world?
Marry her if you want to. Dont marry her if you don't want to. --174.216.xx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by Shelby [IA]) Posted on: May 22, 2018 7:29 AM
Are you worried about her only wanting you for your income? Does she handle her own finances with her being retired or does she rely on you? At her age I would think she would want that commitment from you, that’s natural. I got married at 23. Never thought about it until he brought up having kids, I knew I wanted to be married first. It was crazy with him 43 years old with two boys already that he wanted to “start over” having kids with me. If you don’t want to be committed to her or her adopted kids I would just be honest and tell her. There will end up being hard feelings if you just string her along and she thinks you will someday pop the question. Tell her now so she can decide to stay or find someone committed. Obviously you know you can get a prenup if you are worried about your rental portfolio --173.26.xx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by John... [MI]) Posted on: May 22, 2018 7:38 AM
For HER sake, not yours, I hope you break it off. We don't have the whole story, of course, but from the little that we have, I can't help feeling like SHE is getting the bad end of this deal if you stay together...
Why Marry Her (by dan [TX]) Posted on: May 22, 2018 11:44 AM
That's what I love about this site and have been a member then most on here....dating back to 2001. I might have been member maybe 100. Anyway so I lost like twelve properties in my first marriage, what's crazy is that I loved being married but she had other ideals for our money so I had to cut our loses. today I actually like being single and dating other women but like most women after we go out and sleep with them they think its on....Sorry girls that's not the way it works anymore in my world. And no im not a pig we actually have a great time with whomever im with at the time. Nice breaks.
As for my daughter will her mom European (Spaniard)so she is being raised with more of liberal slant and my conservative views don't mix well with her at this age. She alright most will understand and not blow out of proportion.
Why Marry Her (by 1Gr81 [NC]) Posted on: May 22, 2018 4:10 PM
Absolutely, don't do it! Marriage is for the young and for the splitting of assets in the end. As a man who has also "given away" half of his homes, I am in no hurry to do it again.
Give me one reason (other than...Cuz she wants to.) that marriage is a good idea at your age and economic status.
Every woman I have dated, since my divorce, has professed their "love" and asked for a commitment. I think I'm a pretty decent guy, but the odds are that there is more to those request than my "rustic" looks and stellar personality. ;)
Funny thing is, I was perfectly happy and monogamous w each of them, until that conversation poisoned the relationship. It is a sign of the end.
Don't do it!
Why Marry Her (by Dan [TX]) Posted on: May 23, 2018 6:26 AM
That's the response I was waiting for....thanks again --161.226.xxx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by Cacique [NJ]) Posted on: May 24, 2018 7:56 AM
100% with 1gR81, Geting married is a very bad business for men in today sociality. --173.61.xxx.xx
Why Marry Her (by David [KY]) Posted on: May 24, 2018 11:45 AM
"He is cheating on his...."Girlfriend". Ehhh, anyone else read that? You are a pig. Please marry her so she can take most of your money. You deserve it. You say ohh women just attach themselves on to me after we sleep together. Yea you call them your girlfirend. This shows you're a liar as well and hold no credibility to me as a human being. Hilarious how you have no idea that you are the problem. Completely oblivious. I'm telling you, "You are the problem and have been" --70.62.xxx.xx
Why Marry Her (by John... [MI]) Posted on: May 24, 2018 12:27 PM
Hence my response that he please break it off with her for HER sake, not his. She's not losing anything here...
Why Marry Her (by LisaFL [FL]) Posted on: May 24, 2018 1:46 PM
I don't get all the harshness towards Dan. Sounds like he knows who he is and freely admits it. Have to admire someone who admits their faults.
She gets upset with his "womanizing" meaning he's not being secretive about it. He'd be doing himself as much a favor in dissolving this relationship as he would her. Who wants a needy woman who isn't happy with you the way you are? Or a woman with such low self esteem that she's ok with his behavior?
A bit unclear as to why he even asked the question when the answer is so obvious. --173.170.xxx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by Dan [TX]) Posted on: May 24, 2018 2:04 PM
take it easy david, This guys upset for some reason. are you being cheated on man? whats your problem dog? --161.226.xxx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by David [KY]) Posted on: May 24, 2018 2:21 PM
Typical deflection when confronted like the sociopath you are. --173.239.xxx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by 1Gr81 [NC]) Posted on: May 24, 2018 5:38 PM
Oh good....The name calling part of the internet has found us here. Great. :/
Think, think, think.... It escapes me at the moment, but, why is it that society is degrading again?....Oh yeah. --74.124.xxx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by John... [MI]) Posted on: May 24, 2018 6:59 PM
Interesting thing to say in this thread -- a thread about people no longer wanting to get married, wanting to have multiple partners and "womanizing", and so on.
I've seen a LOT of the same people that like to shout that "society is degrading" say it is because of exactly the above -- the fact that no one wants to get married any more, wants multiple partners, and so on.
How quickly we change...
Why Marry Her (by 1Gr81 [NC]) Posted on: May 24, 2018 7:36 PM
John (MI) I would, genuinely, like to hear your "defense" of marriage, as it stands in today's society. As a LL w assets.
If you have some additional time, I would like for you to help me understand how name calling isn't "degrading society".
To quote the wisdom of renowned, philosopher and comedian, KT Tatara, (Paraphrased)....
"Women are attracted to men who are...older than them, taller than them, smarter than them, makes more money than them.....(These are attractive qualities.) That means that a guy... is dating women who are....younger than me...shorter than me...dumber than me...poorer than me..."
Tell me again why I should marry?
I understand how the "idea" of marriage is considered "sacred". HE##, I even fell for it myself. That being said, I am also reminded of the quote...."You know baby,,,this thing we got is going really well...Why don't we get the government involved."
Seize life! --74.124.xxx.xxx
Why Marry Her (by Lola [OH]) Posted on: May 24, 2018 8:57 PM
Don't marry her.
You are not obligated to do anything at this stage of life but to be true to you
Tell her at this time in your life you just want have a couple years as a single but dating man.
Kindly let her know that you would like to experience total freedom.
perhaps you will feel different and have a steady in a few years, but frankly you don't feel actual marriage is in your future.
Perhaps she's considered more security for her golden years.
Why Marry Her (by WL [CA]) Posted on: May 27, 2018 8:24 AM
Watch the DivorceCorp trailer on Youtube. Want to be a walking ATM machine for the divorce lawyers? This is your chance! --174.65.xx.xx
Why Marry Her (by Frank [NJ]) Posted on: May 27, 2018 10:29 AM
Some study a few years back stated that most men married down the ladder (money, age status) and most women up.
Why Marry Her (by John... [MI]) Posted on: May 27, 2018 11:00 AM
I didn't say anything about the defense of marriage actually. I simply pointed out that a LOT of people have argued that the "degradation of society" (that you mentioned related to name calling) was also caused by the degradation of "marriage" being important. I just thought it was ironic that you said that -- since I think a lot of the pro-marriage people would say the exact same thing for a different reason.
That being said, I actually agree with you that the name-calling is related to a "degradation of society." We don't disagree on that.
All I said from the start related to this thread was that I hope he leaves her too -- simply because they clearly have different views of things. He calls her his "girlfriend", but admits to seeing other women. Most people in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship would consider that cheating.
If he doesn't see it as cheating, then I stand by my opinion that, for HER sake, he should break up with her. Because, to her, it is very likely seen as cheating. And that isn't fair to her.
He can do whatever he wants as far as marriage go. As long as he is fair and clear and honest with whoever he is currently "dating."
Why Marry Her (by cjo'h [CT]) Posted on: May 28, 2018 11:24 AM
She's 53.he must also be as old.Seems like they're at an age where they should have some common sense.And people talk about tenants..............charlie.............................................Heaven protect us,for they know not what they do.......................................... --174.199.x.xxx