Guest/girlfriend won't le

So I invited a girlfriend and her two kids to live with me and my two kids in Dakota County Minnesota. Things have fallen apart... Alcohol has brought out too much truth from her mixed with illegal drugs she is taking and she has some serious talk of suicide. We do not have a lease and we do not spend evenings together anymore. She did contribute $700 to household expenses in September but has never before nor after paid for anything. She does not receive mail here or have any legal attachment to my house. She has lived with me now for about 5 full months and I knew her for a year or so before that. I have asked her to leave, it isn't working anymore but she will not leave. Can I place her stuff in the driveway while she is at work or do I really need to go through the eviction process? --184.100.xx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Kyle [IN]) Posted on: Nov 10, 2017 9:57 PM
Message:

5 months? Probably going to have to do the eviction.

--73.102.xxx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Tom [FL]) Posted on: Nov 10, 2017 10:05 PM
Message:

Maybe get her to a drug rehab in your area plus she needs counseling for her suicide issues. Its possible her comment about suicide may be a way to make you feel sorry for her. However it may be helpful for you to get her to a rehab and that may help get her out of your house then change your locks once she is out. Not sure if you can put her stuff at the curb however I don't know if there are any MN laws that will help you to get her out. Maybe take her and her stuff to a rooming house or hotel in your area and pay for a few nights then change your locks. I think you need to tell her its time for her to leave.

Best of success!!! --99.56.xx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by LiveTheDream [AZ]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 12:07 AM
Message:

Usually if it is your home you get some leeway. But not sure about your state. In my state yes, we can basically call the police and throw them out thanks to a new law a couple years ago.

A restraining order might also provide the same result. Whatever you do, DO NOT get into any kind of domestic violence situation or your life can be permanently messed up. --47.216.xx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by NE [PA]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 3:55 AM
Message:

You're breaking up with your girlfriend dude, not evicting a tenant. --50.107.xxx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by RB [MI]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 5:31 AM
Message:

Another Side Effect when Playing House. --71.13.xx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by MJ [OH]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 5:35 AM
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At this point, it will usually take an eviction. Doesn't matter if it is/was your girlfriend or not. She lives there and you let her do it. My suggestion, is get a lawyer and file legal eviction. Please make sure to protect yourself, if it was me I would put cameras in all common areas, let her know they are there if your state requires it. You don't want her to say you touched her. Again, PROTECT YOURSELF.

Good luck. --174.105.xxx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Tom [FL]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 5:43 AM
Message:

NE of PA, your are correct its his GF however the part that may muddy the water since chad took $700 dollars form her now she could be considered a rooming house tenant. Chad check your state law????

LiveTheDream of AZ, is spot on about the DO NOT get into domestic violence issues.

The two main issues I see are the illegal drug use and the suicide factor. She needs help and get her counseling. Call the YWCA in your area and ask a general question on where would a good source to help a lady friend with drug rehab. Don't let it escalate into a domestic violence situation. If she gets violent towards you walk out of your own house and get a hotel room or stay with family until you get her out.

Then you may need a restraining order on her.

Drug addiction is a nasty thing for people to coop with then the added twist of suicide, she needs help. And chad you most likely don't have the degree to help her out of her bad situation. But you can point her in the right direction, then you can walk away.

Best of luck to you and to her too!!! --99.56.xx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by NE [PA]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 5:49 AM
Message:

As long as your girlfriend isn't wise to her implied rights, break up with her as normal. If she says she's a "tenant" you'll have to evict I guess.

I know what'd I'd do. --50.107.xxx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Chad [MN]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 6:24 AM
Message:

Thank you for all the advise. The break-up has already happened and now we are at the point that she will not leave. She is perfectly capable to do so and has the money to do it. A few of the comments which mentioned I don't have the ability to help help with these big issues of hers are correct. I don't know what to do there and feel terrible for her and her two kids. I did call a crisis hot line for her and they sent out a specialist who ultimately said they couldn't do anything for her. They basically said let her hurt herself first then call 911 for help. I have been asking her to leave very nicely for two weeks and I understand the big issues of a domestic assault. I won't let it get to that on my part. I really wanted to avoid the time frame of a legal eviction but I figured that was my only option. Thank you again for the advise. --75.146.xx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Vee [OH]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 6:27 AM
Message:

Change locks to keep trespassers away and place property on the porch, use a tarp to be a nice guy. Tenants do this often, another day in life - as the milk bottle spins. --76.188.xxx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Nicole [PA]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 6:51 AM
Message:

... understand the big issues of a domestic assault. I won't let it get to that on my part...

do you really? I see it on here all the time ... folks recommending restraining orders as a means to get someone out. If she makes up a story, you are out of your own home with basically no notice until it gets resolved... some folks know how to play the system --72.95.xx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by RathdrumGal [ID]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 7:33 AM
Message:

I would file eviction You may not legally need to, but it would make a nice legal timeline to prove her claims of domestic abuse are in retaliation for you asking her to leave. Alternatively, you could send her a certified letter telling her to leave or hire a process server to sever her with notice to leave.

You already asked to her to leave 2 weeks ago. She is not moving. This is going to get ugly. Protect yourself. --98.146.xxx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by AllyM [NJ]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 7:41 AM
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No. Find somewhere else to live and get out and more so, get your kids out of that environment. People who talk suicide sometimes can kill others to "save" them. Pay what you have to for early lease termination and get out. Your landlord will hate you, but you will save yourself and your kids a lot of grief. --73.33.xxx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by AllyM [NJ]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 7:44 AM
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OK, it's your house. Get out and get to someplace else and start the eviction. If you have pets, get them out now. I see something bad happening there. --73.33.xxx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Salernitana [CA]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 8:51 AM
Message:

I am so sorry about the difficult situation and thankful that you're heeding advice here and from the people at the crisis hotline, doing what you can given the parameters and the feelings you have for her and her kids. I'm guessing that your ex is smart enough to fight to stay in your place as Winter approaches. I wonder if she's now addicted to your place as part of her routine and won't let go of it or her addiction. I think that she's well aware of what's she's doing to you and the kids and turns to suicide as go-to solution.

It will take strategies to reroute or deflect her mindset of staying in your place and going dark. The Holiday Season might bring out emotional issues since she has kids, so again, please use any angles and be creative to figure out an alternative of her seemingly one-track behavior.

Is she a functioning alcoholic since she still has a job?

Best of luck. --67.170.xxx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Lynda [TX]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 10:23 AM
Message:

I feel sorry for her 2 kids. Yes,she has to go but what about taking a roof away from the 2 kids who did nothing wrong?? Even if you found her a motel room w/kitchenette and paid for a week with the $700 she gave you, it would leave her kids high&dry for going to school, etc.

I would first type up a Memo For Record (MFR) about what happened,chronologically, from the time she moved in--thru the start of the difficulty--till present. Mention the non-payment, the drinking incidents, the drug incidents and the suicide statement. THIS is your back-up document--make copies--FILE IT. You may need it later for the police or in court.

Then, give her an official notice letter to leave your property. In it I would clearly state that you have asked her nicely from the (mention the 1st date you asked). State that her drinking, drug use, and statements about suicide are effecting your family, and you have to protect them. Also in the letter you shd give her a drop-dead date for being out(ending on a Sunday). On the Monday following that date you will begin an eviction that will eventually go on her credit record.

Do not argue with her in anything she starts. Let your kids know what is going on,if they are age appropriate. She may try to enlist them against you. If things get dangerous to your kids or property, take copy of your MFR and a copy of your letter to the police and ask for a restraining order. If it seems she will be reasonable, help her move out to somewhere like a weekly motel. From there she can search for a more permanent home.

PS: if her kids are age-appropriate for you speak to them, also tell them what is going on and why. Who knows, if they see her bad behavior they may just say "Come on mom, let's get out of here." and that may swing her if she's on the fence.

That's exactly what happened to a friend of mine who was in an abusive relationship with a guy living in HIS house. It was her 10 yr old saying "I'm very unhappy,let's get out of here" that finally moved her. --108.87.xx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Richard [MI]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 12:01 PM
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Notify your landlord and move out. --23.121.xx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Barb [MO]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 1:21 PM
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Did she use your home as her address for the kids school? If yes, she likely established residency. If no, I'd likely just move her stuff into storage and change the locks. After all, if she didn't tell the school her kids slept at your place at night (which establishes residency for school), she likely didn't tell anyone else. In that case, she was juse couch surfing.

If she established residency, but you own the home or the lease is only in your name, look up boarder laws for your state. --64.251.xxx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Chad [MN]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 2:25 PM
Message:

She did use my address for the school system yes for her two children. My kids and her kids are the same ages. Two are eight and two are eleven. Old enough to know something is going on but maybe not old enough to know the entire story. I was afraid that accepting the $700 might have given her rights to my house. I plan on going to the Sheriff's Office on Monday when they open. I considered asking about a restraining order but hadn't considered what could happen to me if she did that first against me. I appreciate the idea of the memo for record and will do that tonight. I didn't understand the potential drama I was getting into letting them live with me. I considered letting them stay for free because of her two kids and them having done nothing wrong but it just will not work. I don't think I will get into a rental situation again (famous last words, right) but if I ever do, I will protect myself and my house more next time. Thank you for your thoughts on this eviction situation. --75.146.xx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Bohemia [IL]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 2:43 PM
Message:

Is there a record of the $700 payment or was it cash?

If cash, then she must have been paying you back for groceries you bought, if you get my drift.... --75.129.xxx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Chad [MN]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 3:09 PM
Message:

She made a payment direct from her Wells Fargo account into my Wells Fargo account so the record is pretty clear what it was unfortunately. --75.146.xx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Barb [MO]) Posted on: Nov 11, 2017 4:16 PM
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Well, her giving you $700 one time just means she was helping with expenses. Not necessarily anything else. --64.251.xxx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Jim [NY]) Posted on: Nov 12, 2017 3:46 AM
Message:

"Another Side Effect when Playing House"

Really? Pretty judgemental.This isn't 1955. Like it or not about 50% of people are not legally married. Of the ones that are, about 50% of those divorce.

I was married once. Never again. Interesting too that when asked at a nursing home to very connotative people there. MOST saw no need to get legally married these days.

In this case it didn't work out, just like a lot of marriages. I would agree with a lot more vetting before making that leap. A person that drinks much or does drugs would be a disqualifier for me. --71.192.xxx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Chad [MN]) Posted on: Nov 12, 2017 2:19 PM
Message:

Thank you again for the helpful advise. The drug use and heavy drinking didn't start till shortly after she moved in with me. Before that she seemed normal and things were great for over a year. It was like flipping a switch. She had personal family losses and as the saying goes, it happens in threes. Very true. I didn't know legally what I needed to do now to get her to leave. Hopefully peacefully. Offering her money and help moving wasn't getting me anywhere and there is no fixing the relationship situation. I am going to the Sheriff in the morning to get that process started. I know how vindictive she can be so I am going to also take the advise on the restraining order. I don't think she is safe around her own kids so she definitely should not be around me or mine. She has a previous assault charge and a handgun so maybe that will help the Sheriff in his decision. Thank you for the advise on eviction and the ro. --184.100.xx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Chad [MN]) Posted on: Nov 12, 2017 4:59 PM
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Excuse me perfect police. Spell check and typing on a little phone screen get tedious.

Thank you to all helpful comments. They are truly appreciated. --184.100.xx.xx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by Landlord ofthe Flies [TX]) Posted on: Nov 13, 2017 3:28 PM
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Threaten to get CPS involved regarding her children if she doesn't move out. No matter how sorry for her and her children you feel, you have a responsibility to your children to get them out of this mess. --108.69.xxx.xxx

Guest/girlfriend won't le (by mike [CA]) Posted on: Nov 20, 2017 4:25 PM
Message:

you mention not having a lease...if you are a renter yourself give your landlord 30 days notice and find a new home for yourself. if you own the home, she is a tenant by EVERY standard in the states i operate in. if you suspect she might get an RO on you then be VERY CAREFUL about the interactions and if you even catch a whiff of her being that way get out for a walk or call the cops first for a keep the peace while you get a record of her drunkenness which is not against the law until she drives that way or endangers the kids. the danger her is REAL...crazy drunk chicks will have crazy drunk chick friends that know the system and you will be up against them all if she's that type. Consider a preemptive RO .. if she EVER strikes you or even threatens that simply call the cops --76.176.xxx.xxx

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