I cruise the housing wanted ads fairly often on my local C-List Housing Wanted" ads and found one that I thought some of you might enjoy. Waddya think?

Mature-minded Married Couple: Very Desirable Renters

WE NEED A HOME TO RENT!

A place to call home for at least just one year or indefinitely; we are looking for storage, too, if you rent space.

INCOME FROM RENTING TO US IS GUARANTEED!

Do you have or are considering having income property? HAVE US AS THE BEST OF TENANTS!

Serious responders only (no marketers): Use Craigslist email link.

Good day to you. Your doing the kindness of taking just a minute to read this personal note will be very greatly appreciated. A husband and wife, both non-smokers without pets, we are in earnest search of a home. We are both from a long line of central New Jersey natives. Although we have greatly enjoyed being in our current home for approximately the past five years, we are seeking to relocate by the end of April 2020.

We have reached out to you in the hope that you may be able to assist us with securing our new home. You may be someone who currently owns a rental property and wish to have the best of new tenants, or perhaps you have been considering obtaining income property and want to be sure of to whom you would rent it. Or maybe you yourselves are tenants and would be kind enough to pass this on to the property owner as they may posses other rental properties and may be glad of your kindly passing this information to them for consideration, or you may happen to be planning to vacate the premises you are currently renting. Then, too, it could be that you or someone you know are realtors who may become aware of available homes for us that are fit our search criteria, as we have outlined herein.

For our tenancy we offer four sources of funds—guaranteed—for payment of the rent. Much to their own advantage, the owner will receive monthly rent from both us the renter AND from the government, who positively pay on time as do we. This part is easy and smart: Owners must agree to rent to us working within and receiving the guaranteed payments from the HOUSING CHOICE VOUCHER PROGRAM/SECTION EIGHT program for which we now qualify, for at least just one year—please—although we are seeking permanency. As our references will support, we are known for paying either early or on-time. And with the greater balance of the rent being paid by the government, that money is guaranteed. Even government shut-downs do not affect the owner's receiving payment as there are already funds set aside for this purpose. Additionally, we the two tenants receive guaranteed sources of income from the government each month as well as income from other employment. We are looking to move by April 30, 2020!

You will find we are an honest, quiet, upstanding couple; we offer a number of solid references that attest to our reliability and desirability as tenants. We were raised with values whereby we respect what belongs to others and believe in taking care of the property as if it were our own. References on a more personal level can be made available as well. (On a side note, the attached image is actually us.)

We are in search of a home with these specifications (not necessarily in order); house, condominium, townhouse, duplex: these are all acceptable.

MUST: Two bedrooms

PREFERRED: One and one-half baths (highly desirable)

First-floor entry in a two-level home OR one level only

Washer/dryer within unit; or in-unit hookups; on-site facilities at the least

Garage

Loft

Den

Yard/Patio/Balcony/Deck

Storage space

The region most desired is from the southernmost portion of Monmouth County to the center region. Locations include (in alphabetical order): Aberdeen, Allenhurst, better Asbury Park, Avon, Belmar, Bradley Beach, eastern Colts Neck, Deal, Eatontown, Elberon, Farmingdale near town center, Freehold, Freehold Boro, Glendola, Holmdel, Howell, Interlaken, Lake Como, Little Silver, Lincroft, Loch Arbor, better Long Branch, Manalapan, Manasquan, Marlboro, Matawn, Middletown, Neptune, Neptune City, Oakhurst, Ocean Township, Oceanport, Red Bank, Sea Girt, Shrewsbury, Spring Lake, Spring Lake Heights, Tinton Falls, Wall, Wanamassa, Wayside, West Long Branch.

Guaranteed and prompt rent payment and upstanding, conscientious, quiet, well-reputed tenants—what more can a property owner desire?

Please—help us; we are just regular folk in need of help finding someone who is kindly willing to participate in giving us a Section 8-friendly home, even for just one year. Owners can easily just opt back out of the program if so desired. But we would be glad of a permanent home (one year minimum would tide us over, however).

You have nothing to lose by reaching out to us. Call now! Retain this note; please pass this information on to others.

So, for two people on disability and Sec8, I will say this: I've NEVER seen anyone in that situation plan so far ahead (i.e. they are looking for April 2020)! Normally, any Sec8 person that applies wants to move in "immediately" because they are "currently staying with friends" or some other crap.

Heck, I rarely take Sec8, but I might actually consider this one! HA! :)

- John...

I would love to screen these "regular folk".

I don't get it...all I saw was, "We're such mature, responsible, forthright, honest, hard-working folks who plan to be on the Govt dole for the rest of our lives and have this list of demands for our minimum acceptable housing....and you're LUCKY to have us!"

"We'll just ignore the fact that its your tax dollars paying for our housing..."

Yep, sounds like they are very honest about how hard-working-the-system-type of folks they are!

;-)

melinda: Because if they did a short ad saying that they were looking for Sec8 housing, most LLs would ignore it anyhow. The only real chance they have to increase their chances with "on the edge" landlords even considering them is to go with something like this write-up.

- John...

Frank!

To much talk. My THEORY is the longest talkers create the biggest excuses later.

And I lean on Shakespeare's "The lady doth protest too much".

They did go threw a lot of trouble BUT?

Why are they moving? Probably eviction.

If they are such great tenants then they would not have to beg because there would be LL's lining up to get there application.

They are not asking for much, are they.

If they are so mature minded then why are they on government assistance?

6x6: I doubt that it is eviction if they are planning to move in April 2020. They've be out well before that even in a difficult-to-evict state.

That was my point -- I almost never see an applicant planning that far out. This is a bit different than your Average Bear or Sec8 applicant. :)

- John...