TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE EVICTION
'Twas the night before Eviction, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even the louse;
The sheriff was coming the next day to serve
Court papers, eviction, and set-out to the curb.
The tenants, I grumbled, all snug in their beds,
No thoughts of the set-out troubling their heads.
Ma and myself in bed set the clock
For the morn, but soon awoke with a shock.
When out on the lawn there ‘rose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what’s the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Peeked through the curtains and raised up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my a-stounded eyes should I see,
But a truck with 2 guys and a big screen TV!
The tenants were moving out now in the night!,
I just had to watch, it was such a strange sight.
More rapid than eagles those guys moved that junk,
They stacked it all up real high in the truck;
"Now, Jimbo! Get the TV! now, Larry the couch!
Mary, get kids dressed and out of the house!
Put it out on the porch! Take it to the hall!
Come on now, hurry, we can’t take it all!"
Like raccoons at night when they raid your trash,
Those tenants were trying to take all their stash.
So pile it up, stack it up, come what may,
Those tenants were leaving ‘cause they wouldn’t pay.
And then, in a second, I heard in the yard
The groaning and straining of that big tub of lard.
Never before had he done so much work,
As he carried those things, I just had to smirk.
He was dressed in his beer shirt, 2 sizes too small,
And his pants looked as if they may just take a fall.
A garbage bag full of clothes slung cross his back,
When he turned round, atop his pants YIKES was a crack!.
Oh my, he moaned loudly, Oh man it was great!
He worked fast and hurriedly 'cuz it twas late!
His nasty mouth cursed all the way through his work,
Watching him labor! A lot for this jerk!
The butt of a cigarette held his jaw loose,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a noose;
That slob of a man with his huge awkward belly,
That shook, as he moved like a bowl of hair jelly.
He loaded the dresser, the stove, and the shelf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
This guy was “disabled” – Could not mow the grass,
Which now lay quite dead, he was such an ass!
He didn’t dawdle. No, now he worked quick,
And filled up the truck; and laid it on thick,
His wife and the kids, they piled it high,
’Til the stack of junk reached up toward even the sky
It teetered and tottered as they went on their way,
Finally I was rid of that bum who won’t pay!
But I heard him exclaim, as he climbed in that Ford,
"Happy Christmas to all, you x#@!-ing slumlord!"
--68.51.xx.xxx
--99.32.xxx.xx
''Twas nite b4 eviction (by NE [PA]) Dec 8, 2018 4:35 PM
''Twas nite b4 eviction (by Dave [IN]) Dec 8, 2018 5:23 PM