Well fellow landlords and investors, I have to say, I'm terrified.

Im probably sticking my neck out with this post, but it's not the first time and won't be the last.

My oldest kid is starting Kindergarten tomorrow.

Into the meat grinder of public school.

Queue Pink Floyd, "We don't need no education!"

I know that he needs education, of

Course he does and I want the best for him naturally.

I'm really struggling with this, because I am not a fan of public schools.

My wife is fine with it, she is a teacher herself.

I told her she has to handle the bad grades if he gets them.

I will naturally want to tell him to not worry about

his report card, because it doesn't matter in the real world.

So I need to learn my balance in this and I'm hoping that some of you folks that made your way in the trenches of real estate can offer some advice to me on how to keep him heading into a direction of personal development and growth when he's older and hopefully not end up a wage slave.

My worst fear is that the "employee producing machine" takes the fire out of his eyes.

I just know that anytime he's struggling in school that I will want to tell him that none of it matters after he leaves there. I just can't let that be a free pass for him to not try his hardest or cause trouble.

What did you all do?

Ps: You better believe I'll be running his friend's parents names through background checks before he goes to their house!

NE:

Breathe. It's kindergarten. They don't indoctrinate them into the workforce until a few grades later. Kindergarten in public school, is mostly social justice warrior stuff like global warming, corporations are evil, Hillary should have won, Republicans are like Hitler, gender identification, and stuff like that.

At least that's what I've heard. My kids are in second grade and go to private school where they learn math, science, writing, cursive, and reading in multiple languages.

He'll learn those things from you at home. Where did you learn it?

When I picked my son up after his first day, he said to me, "NO MORE OVERALLS. Only babies wear overalls!!" Peer pressure already!?!

2 words....private school

Kindergarten can be tough! It's part of the process. Just wait until you see the common core garbage they send home. 1+1 never looked so tough...

My best tip: pay attention to the parents and the kids in his class. You can help nudge your child in the direction of the kids you think would be good friends. You certainly can't pick their friends, but, you can help make it more likely he will be friends with better kids if you try this.

Play dates are strange here. At 1st grade, sleepovers became the norm and playdates are less common. We try and host as much as we can - because we like to know the environment and what's going on. Our kids didn't do too many play dates in KG.

I have noticed a few things about the classes my kids are in. The kids usually mirror their parents problems. See a kid with big time anxiety? You'll probably find it in the parent.

My son played basketball with a team made up of kids from his school. I coached it, which allowed me to contribute and get to know the parents. You also get to see a lot about what type of kids are in their class that way. This was never my motive - just an observation.

Yes Blue, that's another one of my concerns. Peer pressure over stupid stuff that doesn't even matter.

I know it's only Kindergarten, I'm just speaking in general about traditional education and what the next decade holds.

I understand learning social skills there. However, in life, we don't have to associate with everybody.

We can choose to stay away from people who drag us down. That's hard in school.

Frank, I really wanted to go the private

OK, I taught kindergarten and prekindergarten after college. The best you can do at this time is be supportive. I hope he has a birthday earlier in the year and not in August or god forbid, September. Boys are a little slower in developing some of the small muscle skills that are necessary to hold a pencil etc.

It has been my experience that most teachers at the elementary level are in it because they love working with kids. We had a good experience by letting the teachers know that we were there to support them, likewise they tended to work with us when problems arose (like when the kindergarten teacher tripped over my very active son and broke her arm). It was the administration that I had problems with, specifically the bureaucracy of the public school system.

NE. I understand. How much is it, about in your area. Maybe just One flip year for tuition. The education in these early are very very important

I did Mommyschool for the kindergarten years-- doing kindergarten with DS2 now. I would totally homeschool them longer if I was given the chance-- but we live in such a small town, DH wants them to have that experience of growing up with the same batch of people, which neither of us had ourselves. (I was Navy; DH's dad worked overseas and brought his family with him.) But I enjoyed the opportunity to work with them and give them things that the school couldn't (music, art, religion, field trips), or that the school had different opinions about-- ie, our district does spiral math (learn a whole lot of things scattershot and hope you're solid by 6th grade) rather than mastery-based math (do the same thing over and over until you're solid and then move on to the next thing).

In Texas, we have something called the TEKS. (Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills.) It's broken down by grade. So it lists out everything that a kindergarten graduate is supposed to learn during the school year, to prepare them for first grade. I think in Pennsylvania, their standards are called the Standards Aligned System. Your wife will know all about it. Give it a read. See where the bar is.

Birthdays really do have a lot more impact on a kid's maturity than I had expected. Me, I was five when I started first grade, and turned six later that fall. I did just fine; I was a girl. :P But in our school district, you have to be six on the first day of first grade. So for my May baby, he was six-and-three-months when he started. But for my December baby, he'll be six-and-eight-months when he starts first grade... and we all know how much impact an extra five or six months or seven months can make on a kid's ability to sit still, focus, and not get the wiggles. So take into account if your son is "young" for his grade.

If you live in an area that has any decent private schools that don't cost an arm and a leg, you might check into them as your child gets older. I went to parochial school for a year and a half-- the parents came from a variety of faith or no-faith backgrounds, but sent their kids there because it was an awesome education. The students had much better discipline than anything I've encountered in public school, either as a student or as an adult.

Kindergarten is pretty much "learn how to stand in line", "learn how to share", "learn how to take turns", "learn how to sit still." It's also "learn about shapes and colors and letters, to catch up the students whose parents didn't cover that stuff years ago".

You don't want him to be a cog in the machine? Then you be enthusiastic about the school. Happily sit with him every evening and make sure he understood the lesson and learned it.

Why? Because the top ranked students don't get trained to be a worker bee. They are placed into the college track classes and learn to research, to write, to have opinions and analyze things.

To get into that group, your child will need to understand every lesson, starting now. All that information is cumulative. If he doesn't learn this week's l8esson, he won't understand next week's lesson.

As long as you stay involved and worry, then your kids will be fine. Though, you don't have to be a helicopter.

It all starts in the home. If you've set the foundation well, the rest should go well. If there are snags, be a team with the school to figure it out. (Ie, comprehension difficulties, motor skills, etc).

Focus on whatever your kids' talents are, give them a chance to develop those and the confidence for other things will follow.

Stay positive about school. That's his "job". He is there to work.

I agree with BillW- although it's the hardest thing in the world to let your kid fail. They learn a lot faster if they do. And remember " the struggle" is what builds character. So if you tell him he shouldn't worry about things that he struggles with, then you will have robbed him of the opportunity to build part of a resilient, perseverant,patient character. Things that matter to you in "real life" will not be the exact same things that matter in his "real life".

Best to you. Parenting is a trip.

NE,

Haha! Kindergarten is hardest on the parent!

I had the same concerns so I a POURED the good stuff into them (you know it takes 10 goods to flush out one bad) and was constantly there. *I* was the soccer coach, Sunday School teacher, field trip chaperone, Scoutmaster on every outing, and Youth Group Leader BECAUSE I did not want others infecting my kids. If another coach was in charge I offerred to assist.

Got them to church every Sunday, etc.

Volunteer positions tend to attract people who habe "issues" and want to lord over someone, like kids.

And MEN don't step up, as evidenced by so many women as Boy Scout leaders.

Along the way we helped lift up a lot of other young people. Some even thanked us!

it's up to you and your wife to fill their lives with the good stiff because the world's and stuff will constantly be grabbing their time and attention. I paid them to read my books and losten to my motivational tapes.

This is why we do RE.

Pray hard and jump in!

When my first child was going to kindergarten, I was lucky because the school was 3 short blocks away and one of my tenants who live in a rental of mine across the street from the Kindergarten play ground also had a child in my son's same class. So I would have weekly talks with my tenants about the Kindergarten classes and talk with my son's teacher once a month.

I learned what my son was going to be learning and then spent some time showing him that this was interesting and had practical applicants and could be fun.

I also went to a private school about a mile from my home and discovered some classes for Kindergarten and pre-school kids. I enrolled him in several classes and after each session, once a week, we go across the street to a park and play games or toss a Frisbee to dogs in the park to catch and return them. Something a young child would love.

I knew that trying to do things myself wouldn't be as beneficial as interaction with other children and their parents.

My son's mother thought it was the schools responsibility to teach them, she was also a teacher, but I know that parents should try and help with homework or the current subject material.

Good luck.

Had a chance to visit a few schools this past year. Volunteering mostly. Free food on occasion.

I am totally saddened by what I saw in the public elementary school. Very well meaning people but they really have lost touch.

I also volunteered for a private school. Amazing. They use the Saxon math and leave all that Common Junk behind. They teach poetry...which I personally think is a drag, but the exercise of learning poems helps these first graders practice studying.

As a kid I went to public and private schools a few times each. They were different then, but now it is day and night.

Your concerns are valid.

(Funny too....The public schools locally applaud the use of computers, whereas the private schools seem to want you to learn how to think without the aid of the computer. I saw a private school teacher ask a public school 4th grader " So what are you studying in history class". The kid responded "The French & Indian war"

What caught my attention was the teacher then asked the kid "So what did you think about the British taxing?"

Hello NE [PA], You are totally right for feeling the way that you do. All I can say is stay involved! I am an engineer by trade and when my kids got home from public school, they had the second session from me. We had a blast. Everyday, we had a new experiment to do at home, or field trip to go on. I taught them science from a young age and I taught them politics. Do not trust the public school system.

I am also a builder/developer and one day my daughter came home from 8th grade and said that she was the only student that had an assignment of "Why is it OK to clear cut a piece of land for development" after I started a subdivision of badly needed housing. At first I was angry, but then I took it as a challenge. My daughter and I wrote such a thorough report that it shut the teacher up forever.

My son is a very successful Engineer today. Very smart and he knows how to handle his own thinking. He did not need the public schools to tell him how to think. I knew I had done well when he came home from his second year at UNH and when we had a discussion about tax rates he said "Dad, it is the fundamental rule of economics that when you lower the tax rate you increase the tax revenue". I sat back and said to myself "Job well done dad!"

I homeschooled my twins through 7th grade. One of the best decisions I've ever made. They attended school part time on and off for various programs and classes.

In the elementary years they attended a one day a week program for advanced students. Their first day of one day a week kindergarten I asked them what they learned.

They said, "sitting in a bush feel something squish, diarrhea diarrhea! "

Stay involved, but give them space to grow. You almost seem to anticipating your child will not do well. Having that expectations sets them up to do it. Expect your child will do well! It is his job for the next 12 years, there will be things he doesn't like, but he needs to focus on doing well, and getting through. Don't allow the idea that it doesn't matter. It does!

As a parent of a daughter that always had good grades, graduated top in her class, and earned a degree in physics from a public university, has a good job, a house and no other debt, that is my best advice.

There is much to be learned at public school. Social skills, that there are other people with different views, ideas and skills. People live differently. Hard work has its rewards, etc.

One important part of our day all through my child's school years was having dinner as a family and the discussions that ensued as we talked about what happened during the day. A good time to show them the other side of what they are taught.

Be involved in what they do, but don't hover. Many times I did not attend their field trips because I knew my child would hang with me. I wanted her to have the confidence to do things without me. Explore and find her way.

One thing I was surprised to find, even before the high achieving kids were given extra opportunities, my daughter made friends with other kids focused on learning. Years later they were doing extra learning and science stuff together. You might need to steer them to better friends, but those good friends will stick together.

Thoughts:

1. You have far more influence over your son than the schools ever will. Proverbs 22:6

I've had 3 go thru kindergarten. Today I have one in 2nd grade, 2 in 5th grade. All in public schools. So far, none of them have been particularly damaged.

Private school is only an advantage if your public schools are terrible. Even then, it's probably easier (and cheaper) to buy a house in a better school district. You've save on tuition and bussing them to school in your car. We were heavily pressured to send our kids to our church's private school, which is a fine school, but for $6000 per year per kid ($18,000/year yikes!) we just didn't see it fit into the budget.

Our town schools are, for the most part, fine. One of my sons had a tough year last year. New teacher who had a classroom with 4 or so kids who were constantly disruptive. He got through it with lots of encouragement from us. Now he knows how to deal with people in the real world. He'll be head and shoulders above where I was when I came out of my private school shelter into 8th grade public schools.

Not to be at all insensitive to race either, but my kids met their first "brown" friends (their words, not mine!) in the public school. The private church school is almost 98% middle class, anglo-saxons: talk about growing up in a tiny fish bowl! I'm glad they've seen, talked with, and played with kids who don't come from the same background as they do. Some are poorer, a few are richer; some are not as smart, a few are smarter. It's a good cross section of our community. This will set them up for better success, I believe.

We get a lot of teachable moments when they encounter something at school that isn't like what we do, say, act at home. I teach them their Catechism and Bible at home. We also do a lot of at home learning activity whenever they express interest in something. We've built robots and looked thru telescopes at the moon, Saturn and Jupiter.

Bottom line: don't worry. The fact that you care this much puts you ahead of 50% of parents who use school as day care. The drive you have will make all the difference.

P.S. I stink at sports so I don't coach anything. Tons of ways to be involved in your kids lives: find the ones that fit your natural strengths and their interests and be there for them. That's the best thing you can do. Much of life we figure out on our own.

Go to the school and look at every book, poster and piece of material they are going to use. See if it meets your tests as to content.

Drop in and attend the classes at least once a week. Some schools and teachers try to put their opinions and values into everything and don't follow the "approved lesson plan".

60 plus years ago, I went to Kindergarten.

I learned how to :

Tie my shoes,

get there on time,

my place in class,

how to defend myself on the playground,

shut up and pretend to take a nap,

and that ya cant play to rough with the Girls.

Saying the National Anthem and using Mr. and Mrs.

were mandatory. ( And sill are )

Just because you went to college means you got any kind of a useful education. Most college degrees are as worthless as the "P" in Psychology. There is nothing wrong with working with your hands. It is better than getting a worthless degree, going deep into debt, and then expecting me to pay for it with my tax dollars. I built my rental properties with my own hands and I have a lot of them now. Even though I have an Engineering degree and worked as an engineer for 30 years I wish I did not waste my time with that career. I would have been a lot better off sticking to what I did part time building with my hands.

"Dad, it is the fundamental rule of economics that when you lower the tax rate you increase the tax revenue"

You're already ahead of the curve when it comes to parents who care. You don't expect the school system to do it all. You want to know what is being taught. You care about your kids and their friends.

Keep in touch with your kid and with his educators.

Here's an important one - when your kid complains about "Why do I have to learn (long division, fractions, American History, Biology, etc.)?"; tell him the story of the high-rise building that suddenly developed major cracking and began to list to one side. A worker in a basement level was systematically removing bricks here and there to take home to build a garage for himself. He never thought that a brick here and there would matter. The "bricks" are the pieces of the education that you may not care for, but will be important to your foundation in the long run.

We used this story with both of our kids, and the eldest has actually come back to us and remarked when she saw where information she once felt was useless suddenly became useful in her adult life.

I have fond memories of my own year in kindergarten, more than 70 years ago. My teacher was wonderful. She was teaching at my school only because the district where she had taught for years had mandatory retirement at a certain age, I think 65. She retired from that district and then came to mine and taught for about 20 years more. I could write pages about the wonderful things she did.

NE, the fact your son is going into Kindergarten or back where I came from Baby Infant,means you're getting old.In a years time you 'll be surprised at how little you really know,that you thought you did.as for home schooling,forget it,the children need the interaction with other children,more so than with a grownup.See you at high school graduation.Charlie. .. ... ....it'll be here faster than you can even imagine..... ......

My oldest is in his sophmore year of college with 3 guys (shared suite) he met in first grade. All engineers.

I was poorly educated in Public School. The primary cause was at home.

Everything you and Mrs. NE say and do has a huge impact on your children's attitude towards school.

It is a great advantage for children to be accustomed to having guests at their dinner table, to hear thoughtful conversations, and to break bread with their Pastor, teacher, physician, librarian.....

wow you guys start school late. My girls have already been in school for a month.

They are in 5th and 7th grade, in public school. We live in a ok district.. most bad mouth it. But I figure you get what you put in and if need be cover the rest at home.