We should all be scared (by Barbara [VA]) May 3, 2017 11:03 AM|
We should all be scared (by Landlord ofthe Flies [TX]) May 3, 2017 11:54 AM
We should all be scared (by AllyM [NJ]) May 3, 2017 12:34 PM
We should all be scared (by Luba [NY]) May 3, 2017 1:00 PM
We should all be scared (by myob [GA]) May 3, 2017 1:12 PM
We should all be scared (by cjo'h [CT]) May 3, 2017 1:21 PM
We should all be scared (by cjo'h [CT]) May 3, 2017 1:33 PM
We should all be scared (by cjo'H [CT]) May 3, 2017 1:42 PM
We should all be scared (by Hollis [MA]) May 3, 2017 4:09 PM
We should all be scared (by cjo'h [CT]) May 3, 2017 5:12 PM
We should all be scared (by JR [ME]) May 3, 2017 8:16 PM
We should all be scared (by NE [PA]) May 3, 2017 8:21 PM
We should all be scared (by LiveTheDream [AZ]) May 3, 2017 9:01 PM
We should all be scared (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) May 3, 2017 9:29 PM
We should all be scared (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) May 3, 2017 9:31 PM
We should all be scared (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) May 3, 2017 9:32 PM
We should all be scared (by LiveTheDream [AZ]) May 3, 2017 10:24 PM
We should all be scared (by RentsDue [MA]) May 4, 2017 4:01 AM
We should all be scared (by Robin [WI]) May 4, 2017 5:22 AM
We should all be scared (by Deanna [TX]) May 4, 2017 5:48 AM
We should all be scared (by Barbara [VA]) May 4, 2017 6:07 AM
We should all be scared (by Deanna [TX]) May 4, 2017 6:32 AM
We should all be scared (by Barbara [VA]) May 4, 2017 9:23 AM
We should all be scared (by WMH [NC]) May 4, 2017 10:06 AM
We should all be scared (by cjo'h [CT]) May 4, 2017 10:09 AM
We should all be scared (by cjo'h [CT]) May 4, 2017 10:19 AM
We should all be scared (by Robert Phaedra [NY]) May 4, 2017 1:24 PM
We should all be scared (by Ray-N-Pa [PA]) May 4, 2017 5:18 PM
We should all be scared (by JR [ME]) May 4, 2017 6:28 PM
We should all be scared (by Sue [IL]) May 4, 2017 7:20 PM
We should all be scared (by JR [ME]) May 4, 2017 7:41 PM
We should all be scared (by hollis [MA]) May 5, 2017 5:18 AM
We should all be scared (by Nicole [PA]) May 5, 2017 6:02 AM
We should all be scared (by WMH [NC]) May 5, 2017 6:29 AM
We should all be scared (by Jeffrey [VA]) May 5, 2017 6:33 AM
We should all be scared (by Deanna [TX]) May 5, 2017 7:46 AM
We should all be scared (by Wilma [PA]) May 5, 2017 8:19 AM
We should all be scared (by JR [ME]) May 5, 2017 8:35 AM
We should all be scared (by Barbara [VA]) May 6, 2017 4:48 AM
We should all be scared (by Barbara [VA]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 11:03 AM
I don't know what it is about this particular property, but I haven't had this amount of deadbeat losers contact me in quite a while. It's an adorable place with excellent amenities.
Every deadbeat I have dealt with is either in the health care field (probably CNA ) or some industry that has access to peoples personal information such as SS# etc. Are employers checking background? Why in the world would you want to hire a person who has wage garnishments, evictions, violent history? Why? Are there no longer any decent people looking for jobs?
These are people taking care of our parents, grandparents, loved ones or access to some sensitive personal data.
The veterinary field wouldn't take these people on. Why are humans accepting it?
Rant over. Thank you for allowing the vent. --68.107.xxx.x
We should all be scared (by Landlord ofthe Flies [TX]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 11:54 AM
That's because it's a thankless job. Wiping granny's bottom, hoisting her out of the tub, being the sole target of her venting her frustration makes this an undesirable job. It was that way in the 80's and 90's when my grandparents had live in help.
We should all be scared (by AllyM [NJ]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 12:34 PM
A lot of welfare recipients up here were trained as LPNs and other jobs. I have run into two phlebotomists. They glared at me and one stuck the needle in so hard I could have screamed or punched her. No blood. Then she did it again in the same spot and got some blood. I did not bat an eyelash. I would not give her the satisfaction that she got some revenge. The next one got the largest needle she could find. Then there was the one that took my temperature and I asked her if she changed the cap on the thermometer. She grabbed it, yanked it out of my mouth, pulled off the cap, slammed it into another cap and then back in my mouth. You are just seeing the tip of the ice berg. It's the poor sick people who have to deal with them on the job.
My radiation oncologist was not a welfare recipient, but she treated me about the same. Choose carefully. I gave them a chance. Never again. --73.33.xxx.xxx
We should all be scared (by Luba [NY]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 1:00 PM
This is low wages work.
Company pretending paying - workers pretending working.
Sometime company making money not for service providing, but for training as many people as possible and having paid for this training from government funds. They will accept almost any person who applied and some "smart students" will just go from one agency to another just for paid training without any wiliness to start working.
Too sad, but you can see a same pattern in anything that government touching.
We should all be scared (by myob [GA]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 1:12 PM
ALLY M NJ--- you are not going to believe this but the 3rd of May i went for blood work. After 2 attempts no blood. She pulled the needle half way out and moved the end back and forth in my arm trying to get blood. I screamed out it hurt so bad. My arm turned black and blue and now I have 2 puncture wounds and my arm from elbow to hand is numb.
We should all be scared (by cjo'h [CT]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 1:21 PM
There are stupid people in all professions or all types of work.Stupid or smart like a fox. I worked on the shut-downs at some of the powerhouses.The welders couldn't get hired until they took a welding test for which they were paid for.It usually took four or five days.Some went from one powerhouse to another, just to get some easy money.Of course the ones who did it ,I would never call them welders, I have another name for them,if I used it here,the Omodhan in charge of the website would obliterate it as has done with many other of my posts...................Charlie......................................................... --174.199.xx.xx
We should all be scared (by cjo'h [CT]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 1:33 PM
Barbara, to get rid of this problem,just have to let in more immigrants who want to work.But with this Omadhan at the helm that's there now,its going to be a long time.The people who put him there,there is something wrong with their heads, could they have been born with a hole already there.that's something that's very hard to cure.So Sad?..............Charlie......................................even with a wall,the stupid ones are here already? --174.199.xx.xx
We should all be scared (by cjo'H [CT]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 1:42 PM
Barbara, thank you for bringing this to our attention,reminding us to spend our elder years at home instead of a nursing home. Thank you! And good luck with that cute house!As long as you have a little patience,you'll get the right one..................................Charlie........................................................ --174.199.xx.xx
We should all be scared (by Hollis [MA]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 4:09 PM
Question,...Do you know what it cost to be in a nursing home? Its over 100K here. A friend told me he was looking and found it to be 120,000 around here.
How many here can afford that? (for how how long?) The government will liquidate your assets if you can't come up with the cash before you go on Medicare/Medicaid...(a few exceptions and you can keep your house if your spouse is living in it. and a few other limited things)
If this is an abrupt thing, you can't just give asset's to a family member to shield it, 5 year rule I believe.a
It can devastate a person/family in a short time.
So how many have long term insurance to cover themselves?
Yes its expensive.
Do you have a plan?
We should all be scared (by cjo'h [CT]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 5:12 PM
Hollis, its almost as bad here, maybe worse.And the care in one of those places.We used to have three Samoyed dogs,they never got sick,but if they had,I wouldn't dare put them in one of those places..................... Charlie.......... --174.199.xx.xx
We should all be scared (by JR [ME]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 8:16 PM
For about 200,000 years, humans have existed on this planet (sorry Creationists). For about 199,950 of those years, we were smart enough to understand that our biology makes the females of the species the caregivers, which extended to our elders. For about the last 50 years in Western societies, we have decided to buck out true nature and have the females be the breadwinners, and subcontract the job of family nurturers out to mostly other females of the lower socioeconomic classes. This will result in the downfall of humanity, IMHO. Sorry, feminists.
Rant over. --98.13.xx.x
We should all be scared (by NE [PA]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 8:21 PM
JR, if I ever meet you and you drink beer, it's on me! --50.32.xxx.xx
We should all be scared (by LiveTheDream [AZ]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 9:01 PM
My mother's last two years roughly ran me about $7,500+ a month between a senior care (her own apartment) and finally a hospice type home and paying for private duty aides. And we are one of the cheaper areas. They didn't take medicare or insurance, cash only. I was happy to do it and fortunately could afford it, but still - that would have bought me a very nice airplane.
And yes Hollis, I have a "plan." I certainly won't put my spouse through what we went through the last five years of my mother's life. --47.216.xx.xxx
We should all be scared (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 9:29 PM
I just talked with a hospital manager who could not fire the screwup because HR wanted a better score on keeping new hires. His dept handles critical patient data.
We should all be scared (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 9:31 PM
So men and women were CREATED differently? :)
We should all be scared (by BRAD 20,000 [IN]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 9:32 PM
Like maybe there was a master PLAN? :) --68.50.xx.xxx
We should all be scared (by LiveTheDream [AZ]) Posted on: May 3, 2017 10:24 PM
No Brad, man was created from defective parts a woman didn't want. So hush up and do as your wife tells you. :) --47.216.xx.xxx
We should all be scared (by RentsDue [MA]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 4:01 AM
It's not limited to the healthcare field. Employers don't have much to choose from. Too many incentives out there for people not to work. Local news just ran a story here about it. Average person here on government assistance gets about $42,000.00 per year by not having income. That's about twice what they would make working full time at a minimum wage job. The job applicant pool is limited to begin with . It's even tougher in health care because those employees need more than most to get the job . They have to be certified in their field, pass a CORI check, and pass a drug test. --66.189.xx.xxx
We should all be scared (by Robin [WI]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 5:22 AM
At the same time there are plenty of refugees who are intelligent, hard-working, no criminal background, no drug issues and are GRATEFUL for a job at Wendy's--and we won't let them in?? --204.210.xxx.xxx
We should all be scared (by Deanna [TX]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 5:48 AM
Y'all realize that a CNA only needs a high school education, plus an extra 4-12 weeks' worth of training, and then pass an exam? It's a commonly-used path in my area for people who are the next step up from the fries-with-that crowd, and in my state, it starts off earning more than what I started earning with a Master's, and has the potential to more than double. Who wouldn't jump at that?
Not to downplay anyone's achievement--- I was actually thinking about picking up a CNA at some point to help with my MIL and/or parents in the future, so that I don't have to outsource their care when the time came--- but it's very different from, say, an RN, which requires four years of training and is faaaaaaaar more rigorous.
My grandparents passed away a couple of years ago, but my parents were very much involved in their daily care for about 7 years, either in-home for the majority of that time, or, after they were no longer able to safely care for them, with the small private facility that wasn't rated to dispense meds or do x, y, and z. I went and visited a few times. It really helped me realize how vulnerable the elderly are, especially if they have no one in the area to check up on them on a frequent, regular basis. --96.46.xxx.xx
We should all be scared (by Barbara [VA]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 6:07 AM
Actually Deanna, I too have been debating get a CNA. My father is early stages alzheimer and at some point my mom will need help. I would prefer to keep his care in the family. --174.255.xxx.xxx
We should all be scared (by Deanna [TX]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 6:32 AM
Barbara, you totally should! Watching my parents with my grandparents made me realize that it's one of the best things we can do to protect our loved ones and give them the best quality of life that no one else will give. There may come a point where it's better/safer for them to be elsewhere, but to keep them in-house for as long as possible, and to continue to be involved afterwards... that's really special. And hard. And important. I know it definitely helped them work through the grieving process ahead of time.
The biggest thing I'm nervous about is that medicine and the health industry are like a foreign language unto themselves. :) It does require a certain amount of sharpness, also--- just knowing stuff off the top of your head, instead of the "smart people don't have all the answers--- but they know where to find them" model of thought. :) But I've decided it's worth it to give it a go, so I just have to get the kids a little older so I can focus...
I hope things go well for your father, your mother, and yourself! Good luck with your CNA! --96.46.xxx.xx
We should all be scared (by Barbara [VA]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 9:23 AM
Deanna, I have close to 30 years in veterinary medicine. My biggest concern is arguing with their doctor over treatment plans. --68.107.xxx.x
We should all be scared (by WMH [NC]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 10:06 AM
As for me and my spouse, we plan to move to Oregon and die at a time of our own choosing.
I lost my dad to Alzheimer's and I know for a fact that is not the way he would have chosen to go. He withered in a nursing home for over 6+ years of hell.
But once the system gets you, there is no getting out. My sister and I begged the doctor not to treat his high blood pressure, his Type II diabetes, not to force feed him, pain meds only...she said, "God doesn't want him yet..."
BS! She wanted his a$$ in the facility because if he died, there goes the monthly stipend.
I will NEVER put my children through that. --173.22.xx.xx
We should all be scared (by cjo'h [CT]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 10:09 AM
Deanna, I may not be qualified for even a CNA didn't get a high school Diploma except going here to night school,where a math teacher almost had a heart attack when he gave a course in Algebra that I already did in fourth grade back in Northern Ireland.Of course never had occasion to use Algebra since. Barbara, that Vetinary 30 years experience may be worth a lot more than you anticipate.We had three Samoyed's,they were much more healthy than most humans.Just an observation.You see where I'm going? Sorry JR................Charlie................................................................ --174.199.xx.xx
We should all be scared (by cjo'h [CT]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 10:19 AM
LTD, that "plan" you have,do you not think that's a little messy?.................Charlie.............................................................. --174.199.xx.xx
We should all be scared (by Robert Phaedra [NY]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 1:24 PM
Do a trust through an attorney who specializes in estates well before you think you would need a nursing home. It costs a few k to set up, but it's less than one month in a nursing home. Make sure your home and properties are included with cash assets. My mom did one almost 10 years ago, so if she needs to go into care, her assets are protected.
A friend of mine's parents went into a nursing home and are paying about $10k a month. My friend was after them for years to set up a trust and they never did. They didn't want to face the reality of their own mortality. Now they are watching their life savings dwindle away. --134.179.xxx.xxx
We should all be scared (by Ray-N-Pa [PA]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 5:18 PM
There is a song that I force myself to listen to when I start thinking about life's trends........It is called Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen
I am not sure if the world is screwed up, or I am just getting set in my ways. --24.239.xx.xxx
We should all be scared (by JR [ME]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 6:28 PM
Whoa Robert! Do not artificially impoverish yourself for the purpose of foisting your care expenses that you could afford to pay onto your friends and neighbors. Those that do shoud be ashamed, IMHO.
As a practical matter, see what is available to you for a nursing home if you can pay privately vs. if you have Medicaid which pays much less. Depending on where you live, there can be a huge difference in quality and experience. --98.13.xx.x
We should all be scared (by Sue [IL]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 7:20 PM
I am joining this conversation late, but I truly hope someone is kidding about the idea that women's role is to be the caretakers and nurturers of society.
We should all be scared (by JR [ME]) Posted on: May 4, 2017 7:41 PM
So, Sue, what should women's role be? Provider while paying someone else to raise her children and care for the elderly in her family? How well has that worked out in our society?
Someone sold Western society's women a bill of goods about 50 years ago. Stay at home moms were made to feel inferior by "feminists". They were told that unless they had a career, they were not living up to their full potential. So millions of women took up careers, juggled home and work responsibilities, stressed out themselves, their spouses, and their kids. what did we get for this enlightenment? Latchkey kids, rising youth crime and drugs, our seniors stored away from their families in nursing homes. You've come a long way, baby.
My wife and I are equals in our marriage. That does not mean we are identical or that our respective roles are the same. If we were identical, I'd be married to a hairy, portly guy and that wouldn't be pretty. --98.13.xx.x
We should all be scared (by hollis [MA]) Posted on: May 5, 2017 5:18 AM
Well a couple of things, about taking the "pill" or whatever to never to go into a nursing home. Well that might not be your choice.A stroke may leave you physically or mentally impaired not allowing any action by you. number two I have seen alzheimers or other dementias people hit incredibly fast. Even in people far younger than most people realize that it could ever happen to them. Just a few weeks ago a friend said that her husband (46) seemed to almost overnight changed and now can't function.
Add to that, so many are sure they will stand so bravely in front of a firing squad head held high(read The secret life of Walter Mitty) but when it comes to it, they want to live on.
So you will instruct a spouse or a good friend to do the deed? Good luck with that, they are almost always caught and
the penalty is severe (IF they go through with it) --71.192.xxx.xxx
We should all be scared (by Nicole [PA]) Posted on: May 5, 2017 6:02 AM
...The biggest thing I'm nervous about is that medicine and the health industry are like a foreign language unto themselves. ..
You have NO idea how true this is once you get involved. I have two close family members who have been seriously ill for a little over two years each. It is basically a full time job to coordinate all the medical services ... I don't do their day to day help such as cooking, cleaning, laundry but just dealing with all the medical providers, tests, treatments, hospital stays, etc. I truly spend minimum 20 hours a week "coordinating" all this.
I cannot imagine having put my parents or my sister in a home ... it just has never been an option to have strangers take care of them on a daily basis.
I REALLY have a poor opinion of our medical system. --72.95.xx.xx
We should all be scared (by WMH [NC]) Posted on: May 5, 2017 6:29 AM
JR, what about women who do not have children? What about women whose children are grown? What about women who are NOT interesting in "taking care" of someone else?
My husband was a far better hands-on parent than I was when our son was a baby and through his early years. So much so that we discussed HIS leaving his job and doing the stay-at-home thing. I loved my job, he didn't. But he was afraid of leaving the work force and not being able to get back in later - which is exactly what happens to women.
We had live-in help instead, a succession of Au Pairs from Europe. Great solution.
I was better, maybe, when he was a teenager. Not better than him, just better at parenting a teen than a baby. I *did* leave my job then, because someone has to be home with a teen!
And later, I could NOT get back into the work force... --173.22.xx.xx
We should all be scared (by Jeffrey [VA]) Posted on: May 5, 2017 6:33 AM
Deanna, you mention: "There may come a point where it's better/safer for them to be elsewhere, but to keep them in-house for as long as possible, and to continue to be involved afterwards... that's really special."
How about the possibility of taking it a step further and actually converting one of your rental properties as an "Assisted Living Facility". More and more innovative landlords are taking that route to help better serve their family members and even generate additional cash flow in serving a few others.
As one of our upcoming Convention instructors says:, (who teaches landlords about how to set up an assisted living facility), "Most people at some point will be involved in some form of assisted living facility, either involuntarily or by choice, Why not consider preparing now to play an even greater role in the process?" --72.214.xx.x
We should all be scared (by Deanna [TX]) Posted on: May 5, 2017 7:46 AM
I'm proud to be a caretaker and a nurterer, goshdarnit. ;) Everyone can figure out what works best for their individual situation, but it's definitely not easy. But it's fulfilling. And it's important. :) In many cultures, the basic block of society is the family; in our culture, it's very much the self. But that doesn't make it cool to sneer at people who want to be personally involved with the care of their children, or their parents, or even help friends who have no one else to look after them.
@Jeffrey, I totally would, especially after seeing how a few different places operate from the inside. But it took me 7-10 years to get DH on board with the ll'ing idea... I don't know if I can get him to share my enthusiasm for pursuing an assisted living facility... :) Has your instructor published any books on the subject? --96.46.xxx.xx
We should all be scared (by Wilma [PA]) Posted on: May 5, 2017 8:19 AM
Intriguing thread - lots of feelings and facts here. Bottom line for me - hubby and I have just his mom left - and I will do my best to help to care for and protect her, should she need it. Granny pod, converting a rental (thanks, Jeffrey), changing our garage over to a small apartment, getting trained in care, even finding space in one of two superb local personal care facilities.
It would not be fun, and I am not the most patient person on the planet. But we'd make it happen, and monitor her care carefully. Thankfully, she has plenty of assets to tap if/when the time comes - that's what they are there for. Bless my FIL and his careful investing, we've followed his example and are doing the same. --71.175.xxx.xxx
We should all be scared (by JR [ME]) Posted on: May 5, 2017 8:35 AM
I mean no offense to anyone. We decided as a culture some years ago that "The Village" was responsible for raising a child, caring for an aging relative, etc. Responsibilities that traditionally belonged to the family. How's that working out for our society and those "not interested in taking care of someone else"? --192.159.xxx.xxx
We should all be scared (by Barbara [VA]) Posted on: May 6, 2017 4:48 AM
JR, I personally took no offense to your beliefs and actually share them to an extent.