When we have issues with one of our single family tenants, my gut just goes into overdrive. I mean it *really* bothers me! During a situation like this, I feel like just chucking the whole SF investment thing and get out. I eventually come to my senses and just deal with the situation and move on. I described it to my wife today as a little child would touch a hot stove, then know not to do that again because of the unpleasantness.

Anyone but me go through this?

Rick, I have a tendency to be somewhat of a people pleaser so when someone isn't happy, I tend to question what we can do to help even when it's completely unnecessary. But if it gets to the point that someone is hateful or rude or just impossible to deal with I tend to write off the tenant and distance myself so I don't risk my health or that of my family. I used to get all worked up over a tenants attitude, but it's just their way of exerting control over the situation. Recently,someone mentioned Aldos two rules- 1. the landlord is in control. 2. The tenant is not. You choose whether or not to let the tenant call the shots. I have to remind myself of that. It's OUR house.

Sometimes it bothers me when I want my tenants to succeed more than they do. Many of them have their share of adversity, and they do a good job of making things work out okay, and I admire them for their strength. I remember being down to my last $15 in the checking account and having to scrounge for change to buy gas; or two weeks away from not being able to make rent because DH relocated for a job, and then the offer got rescinded; or eating 25-cent pot pies and ramen because I couldn't afford otherwise.

But sometimes, they just do dumb stuff ("Hi! I'd like to buy a $200 pool instead of spending $2 to go to the municipal pool. But I'm not going to buy chlorine tablets, so hundreds of gallons of water will go bad after a couple of days. Gotta fill her up again.") Or I find out that they're living in squalor. ("I don't have two cents to rub together, but I've got two dogs that weigh as much as I do! And fleas to go with them! And I'm not gonna take out the trash for two months, okay?") Or they make dumb choices ("I'm almost 30, so it's time for me to move out of mom and dad's place. But I have no intention of paying the water bill. Or the electric.")

I used to have these feelings, and honestly what cured it was when I decided to become the MANAGER instead of the OWNER.

Your second brain is in your stomach.

It,s there to argue with the brain in your head.

Life is better when they both agree.

Don,t ask how I know this.

Yes; I know the feeling you describe Rick. Toss in difficulty sleeping over such matters and that pretty much describes it for me.

I try to keep in mind that many tenants lie like, well, rugs. I'll give you an example from this week. My youngest son and I replaced an old electric range in one of our SFH's with a new, smooth cook top range we picked up from Lowes. Tenants texted they just "loved" the new range.

Later that evening they texted that suddenly out of nowhere "100 roaches" were crawling over the house?? What the heck!!! Since this came in at 9:30 at night no way was I getting out of my jammies and going over there to see this. I told them I'd be there the next day to spray the house.

All night long I had dreams of roaches.

Next day I went over to spray and found (I'm not kidding) TWO dead palmetto bugs. TWO. Not hundreds. TWO.

I'm guessing moving the appliances around (we had to move the frig to get the old range out and the new one in) might have brought these two out.

So...I'm trying to remain calm over these matters by remembering how frequently a tenant might "expand" on an issue, including things like mildew suddenly becoming deadly mold, threatening to sue over nonsense and sob stories on why the rent is late.

Rick,

I'm sensing you don't have a firm, written goal. When you do, the problems get pushed aside or left behind as you press on to the goal.

The PITAs or non-payers are mere pebbles on the trail to the goal. Without a goal they are giant boulders.

SID beat me to it - MANAGE. The manager's job is to foresee problems, eliminate hazards, keep everyone on the system/checklist, and deal with whatever squeezes thru the cracks.

Renting is a PEOPLE business, not a house business.

BRAD

For me it's perspective. Brad20K's timid landlords have skinny kids is a mantra I often repeat. Approaching it as a business that feeds my family makes a huge difference. Charity has a place in my life and I choose my charity and it's NOT my tenants. They are there to support MY charities of choice. Keep that firmly in mind.

I don't know if gut wrenching is the same with irking(I know its not the same feeling).

Lately I found myself being more and more irritated by ignorant people, mainly people you can not reason or people who destroys your property out of ignorance (not so much being malicious)

Being a MANAGER, you will never have gut wrenching moment cos you are just an employee and the investment is not in stake, but your job. So, for most of us, even though you put a manager hat in front of the tenants or residents or whatever you call them, when those moments arise, it affects your feeling.

While I was adding rental homes to my landlording business I owned a manufacturing company. I got used to being disappointed with employees who made stupid choices.

I go through this all the time after I make a silly mistake that costs me money or have any problems. I worry all day/everyday about everything and it will never end, nor has it ever. It's just who I am.

I have to basically surround myself everyday with nothing but positive vibes. Happy music(80's pop/rock) all day/everyday while I work on the houses, nice home cooked meal which I make for myself everyday with fresh ingredients. Bakery fresh bread from a bakery. Nobody in my life which brings me down(which means I'm alone 95%of the time cause I hate people in general). basically I got a great dog to replace people who just let me down anyways. I take a day off whenever I'm beat. I rarely have an appointment before noon.

With that all being said and surrounding myself with nothing but happy my mind still once "in a while" tells me I'm doing this wrong, you're not cut out for this, you're no good, etc. It is what it is. Nothing left to do but Smile, Smile, Smile (Jerry) =) Keep on trucking.....

Haha HippD, "I'm alone 95% of the time because I hate people in general!"

I've learned two things:

1. Breathe in for 4 counts, out for 8, repeat. It really calms you.

After a number of years of being involved in tenants drams, I also divorced myself from it all and I too am a manager now .As far as they are concerned, I can't make big decisions. It helps to have office help too,and THEY can't make big decisions and will field questions to the owners,....

But the big thing that was finally a Epiphany,... at least to me was.

I'M NOT IN THE WELFARE BUSINESS!!

I pay a lot of taxes. The laws have changed to be not LL friendly so all the dogooders that want LL's to have a "heart" can donate money themselves to help out unfortunate people who admittedly have problems may not fully their fault.

I found that tenants would pay phone bills, electric bills, their car payment ,big TV payment etc but expect the LL will hold off on what they are owed to them. They would never ASK, those others to wait.

have

When I had mortgages I couldn't ask the bank to not expect payment because I don't have the money because xxxxxx. (maybe I might a good reason too ,.just like the tenant's.)

However I find they (at least some of them)could have saved for emergencies rather than thousands they have paid for smokes/beer, big TV and other things,..

Well these days I don't even know that about them..

when

But I do know,..I'M NOT IN THE WELFARE BUSINESS, the government ks,..

If things are bad , the tenant can appeal to THEM,..not me.

The same with a tenant on the edge,..as their credit rating,might be on the edge of our usual requirements and would need a co signer. When they say they don't have access to one my answer is if your family or friends would trust you, I don't know you and why do you think I will? I might say The same when they don't have the full move in funds and "want to work with me"

These things are for others to provide,..laws have taken away much of my choices.

I agree completely. Major issue with me was the tenant called last Christmas week to report the toilets running. Lease says to report in writing. I told the tenant I would be there the next day to fix it. Tenant said it was the holidays, so he would contact me after the holidays were over. His putting it off told me this was not a big issue, but he would let me know when it was convenient for him. He called me the end of January (about 5 weeks later) when he got a whopping water bill (they left it on the dining room table open so I could see it). I fixed the issue, which was both fill valves were completely limed up and running full tilt. They tried using the cut-off valves under the toilet but those quit working. When I got there, they had a pair of pliers on the floor by the toilet.

In March, they had a water leak in the yard that he called me about. I sent a plumber within a day or so to fix it. More water used. My fault, you know.